⚓ Kul Tiras Marines Field Manual, Chapter XII: Beastiary

Grobbulus
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Excerpt from the Kul Tiras Marine Field Manual as covered during Basic Training with the Kul Tiras Marines.

I. Foreword from the Editor

To the casual observer, the different Horde species appear as nothing more than animalistic humanoids - the results of failed experiments of a power-addled warlock. Despite their obvious monstrous characteristics, the animalistic species of the Horde have managed to develop the ability to communicate with each other verbally in the form of grunts, growls and guttural expulsions of noise and spit. They have also developed a crude form of writing consisting mostly of primitive symbols and totems. These limited advances, together with their brute strength and ability to reproduce in staggering numbers have allowed the Horde to surpass the organized strength what one might expect from other animalistic species such as kobolds, murlocs and quillboar. We will be discussing the zoological traits of these monsters, covering their strengths and weaknesses and how this knowledge may be applied on the battlefield and the interrogation room.

In Later sections, we will be discussing various other types of humanoid monsters which are not part of the Horde, but which also pose a real and present danger to Kul Tiran forces and our allies, particularly those which are a danger to coastal areas.

Table of Contents
I. Foreword from the Editor
II. Orcs
III. Ogres
IV. Tauren
V. Trolls
VI. Goblins
VII. Murlocs
VIII. Naga
IX. Pandaren

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II. Orcs

aka “Greenskins”, “Greenbacks”, “Blackbloods”, “Zugzugs”

By far the most vile of all the Horde species, Orcs are an invasive, parasitic species from the World of Draenor. Prior to the opening of the Dark Portal at the onset of the First War, the Orcs conducted a campaign of bloodthirsty genocide against the natives of their home world. Having killed off most of the native life, the monstrous Orcs turned on one-another, several clans being destroyed before they were subjugated by sheer brute force of the more powerful clans and their leaders - eventually coalescing into the vile Orcish Horde that invaded Azeroth with the opening of the Dark Portal.

The stories and memories from those who survived the atrocities carried out by the Orcs have left a dark mark on the history of our world. The scars in the hearts and minds of the survivors can only be healed by the utter extermination of the Orc species, and the complete destruction of their culture of savagery, brutality and malice.

Physical Attributes:
Hugely muscular, thick bone structure, green skin (sometimes brown or ashen in tone), pronounced brow, sunken soul-less eyes, pointed ears, tusks and sharp-toothed grin with a characteristic steady drool, cranial size relatively small compared to overall size. The green skin is a result of demonic corruption from the Burning Legion - as if the cultural glorification of murder and genocide weren’t already enough.

Behavioral Traits:
Unbridled bloodlust, malicious, violent, short temper, dull intellect, poor speech, fascination with spikes and sharp, shinny objects, cruelty, disdain for gestures of mercy.

Weaknesses:
Easily swayed with the promise of power, glory or the opportunity to commit murderous acts. Crippling inability to solve complex problems through the use of logic and intelligence. Over-reliance on brute strength to the exclusion of other effective means for solving problems. Short temper easily exploited, Orcs are easily baited into a trap with even the most minor provocation.

Conclusion:
Orcs are a stain on this world that must be erased with extreme prejudice. Decapitation is the preferred method for accomplishing this as their physical resilience allows them to recover from injuries that would be fatal to most other species. A popular term among Orcs is “Lok’tar Ogar!” which means “Victory or Death”. Give them what they deserve - the only good greenskin is a dead greenskin!

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III. Ogres

aka “Fat F***s”

Ogres, like their Orcs cousins, are an invasive, parasitic species from the World of Draenor. Prior to the opening of the Dark Portal at the onset of the First War, they assisted the Orcs during their campaign of genocide against the other inhabitants of that world, and were the main practitioners of Fel magic during their invasion of Azeroth.

Physical Attributes:
Very fat, moderately muscular with extremely thick bone structure, tusks and sharp-toothed grin with a characteristic steady drool, cranial size very small compared to overall size. Often have two heads with a tendency to quarrel with each other. Gelatinous blubbery fat and thick bones and tusks make for excellent sealant paste when ground up and mixed together for use in ship building.

Behavioral Traits:
Unbridled bloodlust, propensity for violence, short temper, dull intellect, poor speech, fascination with spikes and sharp, shinny objects, cruelty, disdain for gestures of mercy. A perfect match for their greenskin friends. Tend to live in filthy caves or holes in the ground where they hang the rotting corpses of their kills as food.

Weaknesses:
It is particularly easy to manipulate one of the heads against the other when dealing with a two-headed ogre. Easily swayed with the promise of power, glory or the opportunity to commit murderous acts, inability to solve complex problems through the use of logic and intelligence, reliance on brute strength alone, short temper easily exploited, easily baited into a trap with minor provocation.

Conclusion:
The only place Ogres have in this world is locked up in a zoo for observation and experimentation as a case study in evolution gone wrong. Dual decapitation is the preferred method for disposal as their physical resilience allows them to recover from injuries that would be fatal to most other species - and decapitating only one of the heads allows the second one to continue fighting. The only good ogre is a dead ogre!

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IV. Tauren

aka “Chow”, “Cattle”, “Beef”

Tauren are a native species to the plains of Mulgore and the Barrens in Kalimdor, with some slightly different variations in Northrend and the Broken Isles. Tauren are bipedal, humanoid variations of various herbivorous species of prey animals throughout Azeroth, specifically cattle (Kalimdor tauren), bison (Northrend tauren) and moose (Broken Isles tauren).

Physical Attributes:
Very lean, meaty and massively tall with thick hide and bones make Tauren formidable warriors and are often exploited by the Orcs as meat shields. Tauren have horns which vary in type depending on the continent from which a particular Tauren type is from. Most Tauren encountered by the Kul Tiras Marines will be of the Cow or Moose variety. The horns and bones of Tauren make excellent sealant paste when ground up and mixed together with Ogre or whale fat for use in ship building.

Behavioral Traits:
Herd mentality make them easily controlled and manipulated by their Orc masters. Dull intellect, but generally peaceful unless provoked or directed to attack by their Orc masters.

Weaknesses:
A very high pain tolerance makes various interrogation techniques less effective. Fortunately, due to their inability to function at a high cognitive level, Tauren are rarely entrusted with any useful intelligence so this is typically not a problem. When frightened, Tauren tend to move as a group of cattle and revert back to their bovine roots. Fire or the presence of a predatory animal can make Tauren very nervous.

Conclusion:
Tauren make for excellent stew when out in the field or as a beast of burden to carry supplies such as the salted tauren meats. They are fairly difficult to take down though - proceed with caution and be ready for a fight! Preferred method of disposal is decapitation so as to not ruin any perfectly good meat.

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V. Trolls

aka “Spear-Chucking Savages”, “Tusk-Faced F***s”

Trolls are a plague of superstitious savages found throughout Azeroth, where they partake in the practices of live sacrifices, animal worship, voodoo magic, slavery and cannibalism. Like the Tauren, there are different types of these brutal animals depending on the region from which they hail, we will cover only the larger groups here:

Zandalari Trolls: Zandalar
Forest (Amani) Trolls: Hinterlands, Quel’thalas
Ice (Frostmane & Drakkari) Trolls: Khaz Modan
Jungle (Gurabashi) Trolls: Stranglethorn Vale
Island (Darkspear) Trolls: Echo Isles
Desert (Sandfury) Trolls: Tanaris
Blood (Hakkari) Trolls: Nazmir, Swamp of Sorrows

We will cover each one briefly but their differences aren’t too important. Trolls are trolls. You’ve seen one troll - you’ve seen them all.

Physical Attributes:
Very tall, with casters and most warriors caste resembling particularly ugly Night Elves with long tusks and dirty, unkempt manes of curly thick hair. Trolls have a particularly foul body odor, emanating a distinctly pungent stink that is offensive to the senses. Able to regenerate body parts when they have been severed - except for the head. Tribe-specific traits are as follows:

Zandalari: blue and green skin, upright posture, most closely resemble Night Elves.
Forest (Amani): Green skin, red hair, terrible body odor.
Ice (Frostmane & Drakkari): Blue or pale skin, blue or white hair, terrible body odor.
Jungle (Gurabashi): Blue skin, reddish hair, by far the most foul smelling.
Island (Darkspear): Blue skin, reddish hair, hunchback posture, emaciated physique.
Desert (Sandfury): Pale skin, usually covered in blood and stinking of death and rot.

Behavioral Traits:
Unbridled bloodlust has fractured the troll empire of ages past, they have waged war against each other for eons over disputes of which one has the more powerful animal god. Habitual losers and accustomed to getting wiped out by all their enemies, the trolls fight with a thoughtless desperation and absence of strategic or tactical insight that ensures their continued subjugation by other species throughout the world.

Weaknesses:
Highly superstitious nature makes the Trolls easily fooled by simple parlor tricks and illusions. The ease to which they can be provoked into a trap makes them easy targets, and their inability to foresee shifts in the tide of battle before it’s too late makes them useless as military leaders. Highly susceptible to enhanced interrogation techniques thanks to their ability to regenerate body parts. A particularly effective method is to cut off parts and force feed them to the prisoner in a stew of their own urine and droppings - neither of which will kill the troll through disease but will inflict significant mental anguish and crush their spirit.

Conclusion:
Kul Tiras has a long history of decimating the troll population of every battlefield we have ever encountered them. Eliminate with extreme prejudice and always be sure to cut off their head, else they may regenerate.

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VI. Goblins

aka “little green sh**s”

Goblins are the little green sh**s responsible for much of the Horde’s lackluster, ill-conceived and poorly executed attempts at technological innovation (which usually results in the well-deserved death of many goblins). Driven by their addiction to money, goblins are by far the weakest of the Horde-aligned species not only physically but also in terms of their allegiances.

Physical Attributes:
Goblins resemble ugly little forest troll babies who were discarded like garbage due to radiation-induced deformation. With large heads and even larger ears, goblins rely on their inventions to enhance their combat capability, often controlling shoddily constructed shredder mechano-suits to put them on equal footing with typical Alliance foot soldiers.

Behavioral Traits:
Greedy, shifty, dishonorable little liars. The only thing goblins care about is money.

Weaknesses:
The goblin addiction to money is their greatest weakness. Almost any goblin can be bribed, so long as they won’t face serious danger or they believe they can get away with whatever it is they are scheming. Goblins easily succumb to even the most basic enhanced interrogation techniques if they are offered an opportunity to get some coin in exchange for making the discomfort stop.

Conclusion:
Goblins are more a liability to the Horde than an asset. Exploit this weakness to the fullest, and failing that, crush them like the little green cockroaches they are. Demolish any tech they leave behind so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands or spontaneously explodes, causing injury to Alliance personnel. Due to their size, a goblin’s head is the most vulnerable part of their body - it is recommended to simply cut this off incase their extremities are mechanical in nature and removal would be ineffective.

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VII. Murlocs

aka "fish faced f***s

With the body and head of a fish, arms and legs of a starving Orc child, intellect of a prematurely born ogre and the irritability of a dwarf who’s had all his ale stolen, Murlocs are a race of fish-people who plague coastal settlements the world over. Usually armed with spears, they are not much of a threat to a well armed military unit, but can wreak havoc on a peaceful civilian population.

Physical Attributes:
Murlocs are ugly little pieces of amphibian sh** with large fish-like eyes, long skinny little arms & legs, and large mouths filled with razor-sharp teeth. Long floppy fins and tendrils usually trail along their spine, and their feet and hands are webbed to permit swift underwater movement. They are excellent swimmers due to their similarity to a fish, and should be avoided in deep ocean waters.

Behavioral Traits:
Murlocs are rage-driven little rats, and typically attack anything that moves without any provocation. They are largely incapable of communicating with more advanced races, though they do appear to communicate with eachother using a series of mubmling and murgling noises. They frighten just as easily as they anger, and it is usually best to simply wipe them out as they have very short memories and will undoubtedly return to whatever ruined settlement is destroyed if not all of them are wiped out.

Weaknesses:
Murlocs are easily disposed of and are not a significant threat to an armed force, they are deathly afraid of fire and are easily tricked by even the most simple diversions.

Conclusion:
Murlocs are just a step above from a bilge rat on the evolutionary chain. Dispose of them and use their guts and chopped pieces as bait. In a pinch, they can also be salted and fried to feed a company of Marines.

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VIII. Naga

aka Sea-Slitherin’ F***s

Naga are the ancestors of Highborne followers of Queen Azshara who were banished from Night Elf civilization for their unrestrained abuse of Arcane magic, eventually falling to the corruption of the Void and developing the serpentine body they are known for today. They now follow Queen Azshara, and is the primary threat on the high seas besides the Horde Navy.

Physical Attributes:
The Naga have long-serpent-like lower bodies, and hulking, muscular upper bodies with eel-like features and fins around their faces. They are capable of breathing and fighting both on land and underwater, giving them the ability to launch strikes against coastal settlements and areas with ease. Being poor climbers and dependent on saltwater environments, seawalls and submarine patrols are both effective defenses and deterrents against Naga attacks.

Behavioral Traits:
The Naga are an intelligent race, use cunning, deceit and treachery to lull their opponents into lowering their guard, then strike with deadly precision when the opportunity presents itself. The Naga are a cowardly race, a trait facilitated by their ability to quickly escape and disappear into the tides whenever the battle does not go in their favor. The Naga are also fanatically loyal to Queen Azshara, who rules over them with an iron fist.

Weaknesses:
Being descended from a strictly stratified night elf society, they rapidly collapse without their appointed commander and easily succumb to decapitation tactics. Their cowardice makes rapid strike tactics highly effective, especially when it takes out a few of their leaders before they are able to react.

Conclusion:
There are few things as dangerous on the high seas as a force of Naga raiders. For this reason, fleets should always be accompanied by submarine escorts and Marines should train for underwater combat - where the Naga are at an advantage.

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X. Pandaren

aka “Furry Fat F***s”, “Fat Bastards”

Though little is known of these fat panda-like creatures, witnesses definitively confirmed that at least one was present at the Battle of Theramore when Horde savages murdered Lord Admiral Daelin Proudmoore. As more knowledge on these fat bastards is discovered, it shall be appended to this manual.

Physical Attributes:
Morbidly obese and covered in thick white, black and brown fur - essentially bipedal bears. Pandaren possess an extremely thick bone structure to sustain the weight of their obscenely overweight bodies, yet are uncharacteristically agile and swift-footed for animals so thick in the middle. It is best not to underestimate the agility of a Pandaren, as they are often not what they appear.

Behavioral Traits:
Insatiable appetite has resulted in the development of a significant aptitude for fishing and agriculture among the Pandaren in order to sustain their unhealthy and excessive eating habits. They also train in a strange sort of hand-to-hand combat, which has been described as fluid and at the same time ridiculous to behold due to the inexplicable acrobatics performed by these blubberous oafs.

Weaknesses:
The Pandaren addiction to food can be exploited for interrogation purposes, with deprivation of food while also teasing the prisoner with a freshly cooked meal often being enough to break even the most strong-willed of Pandaren.

Conclusion:
A history of teachery and collaborating with the enemy makes Pandaren a people who should always be regarded with suspicion and distrust should they ever be encountered. Their insatiable appetite makes them impractical to assemble into large military units, as they consume many times the rations required by even the most voracious Kul Tiras Marine. It is expected that any Pandaren encountered will be lone individuals due to this reason, as the ecosystem is usually unable to sustain more than a few at a time.