X. Pandaren
aka “Furry Fat F***s”, “Fat Bastards”
Though little is known of these fat panda-like creatures, witnesses definitively confirmed that at least one was present at the Battle of Theramore when Horde savages murdered Lord Admiral Daelin Proudmoore. As more knowledge on these fat bastards is discovered, it shall be appended to this manual.
Physical Attributes:
Morbidly obese and covered in thick white, black and brown fur - essentially bipedal bears. Pandaren possess an extremely thick bone structure to sustain the weight of their obscenely overweight bodies, yet are uncharacteristically agile and swift-footed for animals so thick in the middle. It is best not to underestimate the agility of a Pandaren, as they are often not what they appear.
Behavioral Traits:
Insatiable appetite has resulted in the development of a significant aptitude for fishing and agriculture among the Pandaren in order to sustain their unhealthy and excessive eating habits. They also train in a strange sort of hand-to-hand combat, which has been described as fluid and at the same time ridiculous to behold due to the inexplicable acrobatics performed by these blubberous oafs.
Weaknesses:
The Pandaren addiction to food can be exploited for interrogation purposes, with deprivation of food while also teasing the prisoner with a freshly cooked meal often being enough to break even the most strong-willed of Pandaren.
Conclusion:
A history of teachery and collaborating with the enemy makes Pandaren a people who should always be regarded with suspicion and distrust should they ever be encountered. Their insatiable appetite makes them impractical to assemble into large military units, as they consume many times the rations required by even the most voracious Kul Tiras Marine. It is expected that any Pandaren encountered will be lone individuals due to this reason, as the ecosystem is usually unable to sustain more than a few at a time.