I recently became aware that you can view your followers on Reddit. I decided to click through a few of mine. Every single one was obviously female - no doubt about it. I’ve always been amazed at how I am a chick magnet in real life but I had no idea it happens online too.
One time one of my buddies said women love to ask him about his friends, and when he tells them the women are always the most interested in me. You know, just an offhand comment. He even used the word “fascinated”. He was just amazed frankly - he just kinda blurted it out like he couldn’t keep it back anymore.
Of course my buddies are always try to set me up on dates but ain’t nobody got time for that. You start dating and all your money goes down the toilet. The bros gonna send out a search party because you dropped off the map. I had a friend who got married. We were supposed to go rockclimbing once. He cancelled because his wife was having a bad day. I haven’t seen him since. Bros before hoes, man. Who raised this guy anyway? Bring the girls along that way you can bust out of your shirt and they can stare at your ultra ripped back as you rock climb. They say all that muscle is gross but it ain’t. They love it. They just can’t say it without getting all red in the face and doing that thing with their hand where they try to fan their face but they can’t do it right so it looks derpy because they are flustered.
After you can’t rock climb anymore, you know, from the bleeding hands, you can ask them for help wrapping your fingers in tape. Better yet, sit there struggling with it until one of them asks you if you would like help. Then tell them to hold off for a second while you disinfect it and proceed to lather your hands in hand sanitizer. You cringe from the pain for a few seconds then hold out our hands.
It’s the expression of emotion that really seals the deal you know. A real bonding moment. It also lets her know you’re a real tough guy. Ladies absolutely love when tough guys ask for their help. There is a 99% chance she will comment on how rough your hands are and maybe a 50% chance she notices all the scars. It’s a real conversation starter. You can start talking about all the crazy things you did to get each one. At that point, it’s pretty much a sealed deal.
After you are done telling her about all the scars, you smoothly transition to other stories. One time I drove a Camry off a cliff going backwards. No joke. I didn’t get a scar from that one though. Do you see how I did that? Yeah that’s called smooth.
Long story short, MeltDownGuy is probably a chick. You can’t blame 'em, really. My posts are just irresistible. They are like a beacon in a lighthouse shining out onto the vast empty ocean. She probably got embarrassed spazzing out and liking dozens of my posts so she deleted them in embarrassment. There is absolutely nothin to be embarrassed about. I get that reaction basically all the time. 
I have also been receiving dozens of likes from “FlatulentDog”. I am starting to think I am being stalked. Could the ladies around here lay off a guy for a minute or two? I need to be able to concentrate as I rage about StarCraft. Thank you very much.
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