I understand that. Iām trying to figure out gameplay and stuff, but Iām not very good at that. I have a lot of trouble with match ups, even though it should be simple, and I havenāt had a lot of time to work on it lately. I did make him part Arabic, partly for that reason.
Have you read the story yet? I assume that is what you mean by more background oriented. Iām definitely better at that than I am with gameplay mechanics and stuff.
How do you know what lvl you are?
You can check with some guyās trust level tester. Iām sure you can find it with a quick search of āRosenās trust level finderā or something, or you can test it by attempting to post links.
Here is my concept of a Middle Eastern character.
https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/overwatch/t/the-next-middleeastern-hero-concept/3644
I took a look at it and left a comment on the thread.
This commentary may be a little disorganized, as Iām reading your document in the other tab and remarking as I read things.
As to abilities, if the characterās main weapon is a rifle, why carry around a flail? Why not an explosive grenade, since he already has a smoke grenade? Speaking of, obscuring the battlefield with that smoke grenade could be useful, but it works both ways. Perhaps thereās a way to give him a passive or something to let him see through the smoke? Not strictly necessary, but just a thought.
The ultimate is fine, though you might mention in the ability that itās his armor that lets him do it and survive the effects.
As to the loreā¦well, keep in mind that nothing I say is intended to insult or injure. As I mentioned elsewhere, you have done quite well for a new author and I do think you have potential. That being said, the story needs some serious work if you intend to present it to Blizzard as a serious concept idea. If youāre just having fun, disregard everything below.
With the Overwatch roster being so diverse, and almost full already, having more characters from places we already have people representing isnāt really desirable, at least from a marketing and lore standpoint. Ideally, weād have people representing every place and nation in the world, but as it is, weād still like people from as many different places as possible. There is a definite lack of Middle Eastern characters, so thatās not a problem, but Pharah already represents Egypt (and weāre given to understand Ana is partly Arabic, I believe.) So if you want to have Amir originate from the Middle East, I would suggest having him be either entirely Arabic or of another nationality entirely. Thereās no shortage of countries there, thereās Yemen, Qatar, Oman, Syria, Turkey, Iraq, and Sudan, just to name a few.
This leads into my next point. Just as Overwatch is diverse, so its characters arenāt always connected to each other. Thereās the former Overwatch agents and the Talon crew, and the two Junkers, and so on, but many of the characters would have no reason to know one another that well. Besides which, each of them, regardless of any connections to each other, can stand alone as their own person. Before she joined Overwatch, Mercy was a prodigy physician running her own hospital, Jack Morrison and Gabriel Reyes both served in the United States Armed Forces, Mei was a renowned scientist working for presumably the Chinese government or a university, and so on.
Amirās backstory seems so closely tied to that of Pharah and Ana (and one of his siblings to Mercy) that I think it hinders his ability to be himself and stand out from them and the other characters of Overwatch. Now, itās just fine if he knows of Pharah. He might, considering how Ana was one of the founding members of Overwatch and presumably famous in Eygpt and Arabia. But the connections you describe tie him too closely to her family. One might question the necessity of having him at all, since she seems to be playing an equal role in most of what heās done in life.
Now, Iām not saying you canāt have him working for Helix. But if you are, you canāt have him fill the same role as Pharah is. I canāt tell you what his role should be, of course, but my initial thought would be to tie him to the Helix conspiracy somehow, the one that Sombraās after thatās presumably behind both Talon and many other world events. One might guess the security company that shares their name is tied to them somehow. Maybe he joined up looking for them, to try and shut them down, maybe he thinks they were responsible, along with Talon, for the ambush that killed his squad? Just ideas, and nothing you should feel like you need to consider in any way, but the story as it stands doesnāt give him room to breathe and grow.
Oh, and I just remembered, Lucio is our designated musician. So if you want to keep his musical ability, make it distinctive in some way. Lucioās thing is modern synthetic music, so maybe have Amirās thing be traditional Arabic music? I donāt know.
I hope that anything I said is helpful and that it doesnāt discourage you. Itās entirely possible that Iām mistaken about almost everything and there arenāt so many hard or fast rules in writing. But I want to see you succeed and based just on what Iāve seen in writing, this is the best advice I can offer.
The flail is symbolic and so he can protect himself at close quarters. I largely based him off of Ra, and Ra has a crook and flail, so I gave him the flail since it was unique at the time and the crookās abilities would have too closely resembled Roadhogās hook. I believe I stated that he can see through the smoke, if not I will go back and edit it to clarify that. Perhaps a passive to let him see through enemy smoke as well would help, but Iām not sure as to how that would affect his balance.
I wanted him to have a tie in to the lore. Something stable, so I made it so his family and the Amaris were close. Iām trying to do more for his role, as Iām not too sure where it will pan out as of right now.
I donāt want to make it so that he begins hunting those who killed his squad, and I donāt want to make Helix a major reason for his squadās death. That simply wouldnāt make sense, since it happens years before he actually joins Helix, and it would make him seem more about revenge which he isnāt about. Heās about protecting people and making them happy and making them enjoy themselves.
LĆŗcio is the designated musician, but like you said he is āmodernā (2076 modern) synthetic music. Amir is more of a rock, and soul music. Heās like me in that he is a soulrocker. He likes to rock out, and make people happy. I donāt know if you listened to the songs I posted in the op, but that is the kind of music he is about. If you wish to know more about his kind of music, just look up Michael Franti & Spearhead. He does do other kinds of music, largely similar to the musicians I have listed in the trivia section of the concept.
For now, Iām going to focus on gameplay and balance, and then comeback to the lore and story when I have thought of more.
Hey, works fine for me. We see so many characters in fiction out for revenge these days that itās refreshing to have someone whoās able to move beyond that.
Yeah, you probably did and I just missed it. I was skimming over things pretty fast.
sigh And again, no, I missed that bit. But good, if thatās the kind of music heās into, that works for me. And itās also good to write what you know, so since you obviously know a lot about the genre, all the better.
Probably a good idea. Iām still having trouble with the mechanics of my own idea. Let me know when you get back to it, then, and thanks for being patient about my various misunderstandings.
You have a lot of great ideas, and you are right about it. I did make him to tied in that it would be hard for him to stand alone and distinguish himself. I donāt think I stated that he could see through the smoke, just the allies could so you arenāt at fault there. I also strongly suggest listening to those songs. Its good music, and can give you an idea of what he is about. Especially the one titled Soldier. I made that his theme song for a reason. Youāre fine. If you need any help with yours Iād be happy to help.
He sounds like a fun hero! It would be nice if there were more specific parts of the hero, like damage for the abilities, but it is pretty good.
I believe I put the statistics such as damage, range, and cooldowns for abilities at the bottom. I would try page 10 or so.
Oh, ok. I didnāt scroll that far down 
Its fine. I know it is a lot to read.
I like it! Itās very interesting and I defenitely support your Hero Concepts!! Canāt wait for the rest of your hero concept crew!!
Thanks to PyroPandaās template, I feel Iāve done enough with Theodora to open the document to feed back. Please direct specific commentary either there or to the dedicated thread, here:
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ttps://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/overwatch/t/hero-concept-theodora/133448
Update: I have added a little bit more to his story, created a few new interactions, and changed his flail ability. Let me know what you think.
Is there a Megathread where I could post a hero concept or anything?
Hmm. Not at the moment. However, PyroPanda should be starting up another showcase soon after the hype for hammond has died down a bit. Iāll let you know then.
Thanks, my man.
Iāll be waiting patiently for when that day comes.