Dear Diary, I was still hiding under the bridge as a nasty troll, but i got really hungry. I couldn’t catch frogs or fish because i’m not really a good animal hunter. I though it would be a nice idea to do like the orc peons and to eat rocks. Let’s just say that my teeth fell over in the mud after a good bite. I never felt so much pain and my mouth was bleeding everywhere!
I apply first aids on myself by applying heavy duty duct tape over the holes to seal the bleed in my mouth. Since we live in 2019, Stormwind must have some nice dentist shop to repair my beautiful teeth. It will prob cost a lot of coins and my pockets were empty since i left Goldshire. I grab my handmade club and seek out a poor fisher that was too close to my lair. I slowly approach him and club his head like cavemen, the poor thing fall unconscious in the mud with a big red mark on his head.
A basic human must do what it need to do to survive in these harsh land. I steal his golds and I went to the entrance of the big human city. The guards at the gate stop me! They got suspicious of me with all the mud on me, thinking i was a filthy savage, even tho they don’t mind people coming in their city in their underwear. Since i lost all my teeth and I was in pain, i let my tongue out after each 2-3 words by some magical reason.
Those guards start laughing at me and calling me sticky hobo! I couldn’t let that pass on my watch. I have a reputation to keep and I won’t let those pesky guardsmen ruining it! I take out my club and club their head like I did with the fisherman. You would think that their helmet would protect them, but with the amount of muscles in me, i crank those head protection wide open.
They fall unconscious on the floor and I enter the city. I was shock by the beauty of it and the place really look civilize at first glance. Before i start exploring the Trade District, i saw a cat on street and since i really love cat, i chase after it. The little animal wouldn’t stop so i can pet it, I have to climb wall and houses, he was quite the climber that little cuty. I chase the cat all day and never manage to caught him 8(
Now i’m sad for not petting the cat and i end up sleeping on the floor of the city.
My precious Fleb, you will one day catch that cat. Don’t give up, you gotta eat as a basic human somehow with no gold. Better start learning to jump 50 yards toward and grabbing real good. This cat isn’t gonna be easy to catch.
I can do that! If Denny’s can put mozzarella cheese sticks inside a grilled cheese, I can certain put cookies in one. Or how about a cookie pizza? I’ve seen those too.
(puts out a lovely assortment of cookies in the shape of sammiches, potatoes, grilled cheese, pizza and sushi!)
If you ever need someone too pet my living lynx, and no cat is in sight, I am more than willing to fulfill all your desires and delights. Please take care of yourself my husky hunk, Humans can be such odd creatures sometimes.
Pulls Fleb into a hug. Remember to wash the flesh of your clubbed victims, before you wear them Dear. You know how picky those humans can be about Hygiene. smiles and sits on your lap… I’m not a cat but if petted long enough, I will start Purrrrrring
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