These are my top 10 joke patch notes I scrubbed from my FEB edition.
It is a surprise bonus edition!
The jokes are fake but the laughs are real.
1] Fixed an issue where fixed issues were reverting to issues that needed fixing. They are now just bugs.
2] Due to memory issues Barbarian damage numbers now use scientific notation while necromancer minion damage numbers do not require commas.
3] Players on ozempic will no longer have thin druids. Back to thicc as was intended. Side note we also corrected an issue where druids with bloated egos from tempest roar drop got stuck in portals.
4] Bonus stacks of Zultan Kulle ward at the end of a vault will now increase glyph experience up to 100% for 100 stacks.
5] Ultra-est hardcore has been added to the game. Dying in ultra-est hardcore hires a ninja to murder you. Not your character. YOU! Sowwie! 
6] Rogues now pick pocket other players gold in town. This is done automatically every 5s in close range. The amount is meaningless (500) but we bet it still gets players engaged in discussion!
7] Corrected an issue where console players could hit up up down down left right left right
B A select start in character select and gain 30 lives.
8] Fixed an issue where firewall would melt any cold based skill that went through it and would leave a puddle of water that would spawn mosquitos endlessly.
9] Elon Musk can now use numbers in his character names because of his status as a druid consultant.
10] Corrected an issue where mounts could get stuck on pebbles not added to the game yet.
What you think my fellow forum basement dwellers? 
for effort and keeping it a consistent thing.
