TOP 10 Joke Patch Notes MAR 2024 - TAKE 2️⃣

PC General Discussion
1

Had to repost as this got buried on its mod review so nobody seen it when restored. Other is deleted now.

The patch notes are fake. These are jokes. Do not take serious unless you name is Sam.

1] Fixed an issue where a trail of gold would leak out of Elon Musk’s characters even while he was not playing.

2] Fixed an issue where druids would cast a shadow over all of Sanctuary.

3] Fixed an issue where barb core skill whirlwind would cause meteors to redirect and strike towns in helltides.

4] Fixed an issue where sorcerers with a very low teleport cooldown could somehow teleport into the D4 expansion pack and activate new waypoints.

5] Fixed an issue where charge barbarians fighting pirates could summon Patches with a lucky hit. Patches was supposed to switch sides and fight with the pirates.

6] Rogues can no longer steal items and gold from vendors, other players in PVP, and players in Grim Dawn when the sun went down.

7] Fixed an issue where monsters in the gauntlet would surrender to barbs, laugh at meteor sorcs, dance with necro minions, go on the Ked Bardu diet with druids, and go rogue with rogues.

8] We are now preventing new characters from naming their character Charlie Sheen and selecting the Barbing title.

9] The Construct can no longer execute the player when it gets bored from being a stat stick or aurabot.

10] Fixed an issue where the Dark Cow Level was too bright blinding all dark cows, players, mimics and darkicorns.

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3 Likes
2

1] Fixed an issue where Elon Musk was playing even when he wasn’t.

1 Like
3

Fixed an issue where playing too much Diablo 4 causes your girlfriends panties to be considered a rare drop

7 Likes
5

Fixed an issue that caused the game to be fun by reducing fun level to match Uber drop rate.

7

Fixed issue where damage only occured on Tuesday. Damage will now occur on Tuesday and odd numbers Thursdays. :smile:

8

This needs to be a real thing.

9

Not great. No surprise factor or funny joke here.

How to fix it:

Fixed issue where damage from barbs occurring on Tuesdays reverberated and killed monsters on every other day. :smile:

Would be funny but not funny to the hoards of fried sorcs and druids chillin in towns along with a buildup of necromancer minion bones. What you gonna do with all dem bones?

1 Like