LFG groups are everyone using everyone else as a tool for their own benefit. They are not your friends.
And because social contract, removing someone is actually less likely to result in any fallout than trying to educate someone who’s new to the game.
edit: There is an explicit line that you cannot make a negative comment about someone’s ability in the contract. Makes engaging someone to help them, ironically something the contract wants players to do, an extremely risky affair.
This is a wild overexaggeration.
Honestly yeah, WoW is in for hard times if we can’t get a grip on how we accept new players into the community.
There may be things Blizzard could try to improve things – maybe a “new sprout” icon for newbies, and some rewards for helping new players out – but there’s only so much they can do. As a community, we need to do better, and we need to step up and call people out who are being a-holes.
Kinda sounds like you dumped her directly into Expansion #10 and directly into group content with 20-year veterans who just got used to a leveling experience in which level 70s with last expansion’s gear could solo the place in 3 seconds for them.
What an awful introduction to the game.
Have her level normally to learn how the game and her class works. Older content has more straightforward dungeons, fewer mechanics, less complex mechanics, and while it’s still likely to be a fast paced run, TWW leveling has been a chaotic mess that they JUST made hotfixes to, so people are still weird about it.
Realistically, quest with her for awhile before that even. She obviously isn’t used to the game yet so don’t dump her into the content where everyone hates the game and wants to be done as fast as possible off rip.
As far as community issues go…
Yes, people are impatient and rude.
But it stems from the fact that this is a 20 year old game with a mostly established playerbase functioning off long-time and perpetually-returning players who know more or less what’s up.
People assume any character they see is at least an alt of a veteran player, because 99% of the time, they’re correct.
Also, your complaint about follower dungeons is that it’s hard to fail. That’s literally ALL leveling content in this game. It’s overly easy to accommodate players like your wife who have no idea what they’re doing. This includes normal dungeons with players. The only reason you see ANY risk in normal leveling dungeons is because players CREATE the risk by overpulling.
Your situation is a prime example why WoW has gone to such lengths in The War Within to make the community itself “optional” in most modes of the game. That doesn’t make anything you’ve gone through ok, but I would encourage you to look into the ways they have done so, so you and your wife can own your time together.
Follower dungeons are cross faction and flex-size, and start at level 10 now.
Delves are flex-sized
Story Mode raiding is flex-sized
Heck, don’t professions even have a “in case the community isn’t ordering anything” lane now?
This is a reason WoW are resistant to do cross-factional queueing for small group content with partial groups: The faction-pilled veteran base can be utterly awful.
WoW has three chiefly supported lanes now, unless you get “ambitious” which is, regardless of what people want to say to the contrary, utterly optional. Those three lanes are play nice, play with friends or play alone. You can’t do “play nice” if people aren’t going to be receptive to it, which leaves you with the other two wholly supported lanes.
I’m sorry WoW has failed you on this front. Thankfully, the devs are getting out ahead of it. Let toxic randos descend into hour long queues, and enjoy your time with your wife.
Welcome back and welcome to your wife.
Sorry you two have had issues. I think it’s a little over exaggerated, but it does happen.
With that said, yes LFD can be absolutely terrible and in normal cases I would say to find a guild. Still will actually, that’s the best you can do for either or you since you’re returning from SL and she’s new.
It sounds like she needs to work on the fundamentals though and Follower Dungeons would be good for getting those bare basics down.
However, you having played before should also be teaching her and the first thing you should have told her going into LFD is that it can and will be rough at some point. But never do trial by fire unless you know the person is up to the task. Which it sounds like your wife is not.
Work on follower dungeons to get her acquainted with her class better and moving in general/ situational awareness. After she has that down, then move into LFD. Since you’re leveling, highly recommend using Chromie Time and going to Cata. Some of the most straightforward dungeons are there.
Tl;dr : find a new player friendly guild. Start with follower dungeons to get her acquainted with her class and movement/ situational awareness. Then move into Chromie Time and do Cata dungeons.
You know that works, right? Most of the time anyway 
Bring some friends with for a few runs but emphasize speed clearing dungeons to simulate actual runs with randos
You think that doesn’t happen here? Read this thread. People tell others to be nicer and not to kick new players for not keeping up. Also no, follower dungeons are missing mechanics and do not have a tank using EVERY movement ability they have to run far ahead and keep going until the next boss or barricade.
Did you? Look at who I was responding to…
So i think you are confusing toxicity with critism. If you go into a group with others you are expected to meet certain goals. Thats how it is in any multiplayer game. Lucky WoW has things like delves, follower dungeons, and soon story mode raiding. This will help new players like her get better at the game without causing disruptive behaviors like doing bad.
We all start somewhere so nothing wrong with being bad just know you are bond to get kicked if you arent pulling your own weight.
Also as someone who helps new players feel free to add me and i can help you and her on your WoW journey maybe even try doing so 5 man ques so she has a bit of a easier time adjusting and i can help her learn rotation and gameplay.
Discord is Harvington
Same thing for the social contract, which people are not really following by kicking new players.
I never said it was correct but people dont know if they are new or not and rather finish things fast and correctly then do things slow and possibly wipe.
Also what social contract? because there is nothing in game preventing this.
It absolutely is not, it only has around 39% of wow’s population according to latest sub numbers.
Honestly, given the telegraphed attacks we have no a days there is really little excuse for “standing in bad”.
This.
Also make your own groups.
Have you considered that maybe the problem is you? You’re trying to get your wife to play wow but you’re complaining about groups / people complaining about DPS too low? Is she already doing heroics? wow…
Looks like you’re pushing her way too fast into content she doesn’t understand / doesn’t know how to play / class that needs to be figured out.
Ask her to use the follower dungeon to get some experience, figure some things out first. At her own pace, stop being push.
Then they should communicate, it’s part of the social contract.
Something you have to read and agree to before logging into the game… it states things like “Being courteous in group content can help you and your teammates have the best time possible.”
“Do your best to support your team through your communication and behaviors so you can all celebrate your success together.”
“Assist other players that you encounter in the world.”
Neither one of the games release their sub numbers.
I’m sorry you experienced that. Admittedly, just being slow or late to fights shouldn’t warrant you or your wife a kick unless she was doing something very wrong. Most folks don’t even notice when someone’s far behind, or even care if someone’s doing low DPS in leveling dungeons because there’s usually someone who can carry the group regardless. The only thing I can think of is, as someone said, she’s just standing there doing nothing, or she’s just melee hitting mobs.
I had to kick a tank once because they were using one spell, weren’t holding aggro, were just auto-attacking mobs in a DF dungeon. After we tried to tell them that they had to use more than one spell and had to actually taunt, they kept saying “why are you talking about me?” and “are you talking to me?”
There’s something you aren’t mentioning, especially if you’re telling the truth about her and you getting kicked from almost every dungeon you’ve been on.
this lol
i remember my lvl 20 monk doing like 80% of the dps …but wait i was on healer spec just using aoe kick lol
same thing for my lvl 20 anything the scaling is so bad that 20 are doing x20 the dmg of 30+
low lvls are a joke