Oh and if anyone here has been watching The Amazing Digital Circus. Ragatha so far has been a neat example of the behavior. Since in her case, if they all give up and abstract they’ll be locked away in the dark forever. So with her, she’s straight up doing this to actually survive lol
Oh Ragatha, I love her to death.
(also certain gummies)
No, this wasn’t related to FF14. I’ve tried the game several times, but the art style just isn’t my thing. I wish I could get over it, because it sounds like the writing is excellent, but I just can’t get into the aesthetics.
Gotcha, just know that term was coming up a lot in that one
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It just came up a few times in areas where it was used as a counter to toxic masculinity. I have a feeling it was being misused in that sense, as the examples you provided actually make a lot of sense.
The alt unfriendliness is the main thing that keeps me from wanting to ‘main’ that game honestly
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I bounced off hard after like an hour from it just feeling so generic at that point
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I think this is different for many people but the way I see it is, toxic positivity is only the kind that’s used to demean other people. It can range from someone saying “There is no war in Ba Sing Se” to someone coming in during a disagreement and saying something like “Now now, let’s all play nice with each other!” Both do nothing to create positivity outside of enabling the comfort of the perpetrator. Outside of those situations, it’s just someone saying that being nice is cringe, and no it ain’t.
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I feel like it’s also on a scale. Like there’s the “hows your day!” but you actually don’t care just do it out of politeness but then there’s the “omg you look so nice today!” when you really hate that person and it’s like… for what? Then there’s also some poster I recall that would say the most condescending thing and end it with “have a great day!” as if no one knew what they were doing lmao
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That’s a great explanation; thank you! Great reference, as well.
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Going to sound weird but, here we goooooooooo
(I am going to censor it because it is a little dark so just as a heads up)
Pride month is kind of hard for me and its for a reason that I don’t ever see anyone else talking about. Has nothing to do with corporations, merch or parades…But it serves as a reminder from the backlash each year that most of this world hates me. I’ve dealt with so much Human hate in my life for one thing or another that in this stage I just cant not see it. Not even just the LGBT thing, just so tired of people making choices that hurt others and themselves….I dono, weird rant, just seeing if I am alone in this.
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Oh yeah, I rolled an Enh Shammy for the first time in Remix and I caught the Avatar bug, lol
People have always dogged on you for being too nice. You heard the term Carebear probably. As long as I could remember, even since I was a kid, people would call you one if you were nice to someone in game who “didn’t deserve it”. Nowadays I’d love to be called a Carebear - look at me! 
You should wear it as a badge of honor, sometimes a Carebear is all someone needs to not feel like total garbage in something they’re supposed to use for fun. I wouldn’t call that “toxic” at all.
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It can be really tough to try and internalize our personal worth when it’s constantly questioned and on trial. I am more scared to go to the city parade this year than ever, you are very much not alone. It’s a sad fact that hate will exist, and we need to learn to navigate through it instead of without it. Instead of looking at the hate in front of you as obstacles, why not look at the hate behind you as fuel to keep moving forward instead?
You can feel like your armor is dinged up, but that means it held every time. You can feel like your scars are adding up, but that just means they never cut deep enough. There’s so much that you’ve been through, but all that means at the end of the day is that there is so much effort they wasted trying to hurt you. Use it as strength and take pride in it. This is a good example of what we were just talking about, the good kind of positivity, where you amplify your strengths to overcome your fears.
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I would like to say that some of us—like myself—that sometimes approach conflicts with only attempts at anger diffusion and attempts at deflecting those involved in the conflict’s attention away from the problem and maybe attempting to interject ourselves as mediators but certainly by trying to be beacons and spreaders of positivity and advocates of love…
But, yes, that kind of positivity can be toxic. Here’s an example in this thread where I tried to funnel everyone else into being kind/positive or at least neutral, attempting to gatekeep the feelings and opinions of others just because I don’t deal with conflict well:
Though I attempted to apologize a few posts later there, it wasn’t right of me in the first place.
I want to say though that this type of toxic positivity isn’t necesssarily malicious, and maybe personally I would think that there’s a slight difference between toxic positivity due to malicious intent and toxic positivity like above where it does come from a place of concern. That’s not to say no one should not call me or others out for attempting to shut down discussion of topics no matter if, to those of use trying to disarm, the attempt is benevolent. If you find me doing this—stifling opinions in favor of blanket love—please feel free to call me or others doing the same out. If you do though, just consider that maybe there’s no malevolent purpose behind it so a slightly-tempered response might go over a little better than a slap. But, if I or anyone else trying to replace discourse with only positivity are unknowningly or purposefully trying to gatekeep anyone…feel free to absolutely not let that happen.
I’m going to be selfish now and talk about myself personally. I’m just simply not able to deal with conflict and any kind of fighting with anything other than either either hugs-and-love and kindness-and-compromise…or just by running away crying, and many times that is truly physically crying not just symbolic crying. I’ve never been any other way, and in fact when my ability to verbally and transcriptionally communicate quickly was taken away in with a TBI as a kid, I relied even more on the running away, the hiding. Excessive anxiety doesn’t help nor does some trauma. And, I 100% still do rely on hiding and running from even at work.
And, I simply love and care about people and have since my earliest memories (even though internally, mentally I am usually less-than-okay and full of negative thoughts, I still always want to share love with others in spite of that…that’s just how I am), so when I do attempt to enter a discsussion, whether there’s just minor friction or a heated fight or up to extreme conflict, well, I’m 95% not going to actually get involved with the fight itself, even if I may be a strong proponent of one side. If online like this, I might state my opinion to some degree and then hide, or, I might try to be a mediator even if no one wanted that and/or I might try to inject some positivity and love just telling others to be kind and respectful…well, even if I am cognizant at the time that’s not actually a truly positive thing to do, I might still do it anyways. Most of the time, I just hide (and pretty well that’s what happens 100% of the time IRL), but trying to be loving and empathetic is just ingrained in me and that’s all I can muster to say in a conflict, assuming I can even have the courage to do that.
I’m not defending people who try to equalize things but who do it maliciously, and I’m not even defending how I and others do it and gatekeep others maybe without meaning too…I just wanted to provide perspective on why I sometimes do it. I know it can be harmful though, but if I’m in flee mode—and just full of anxiety and irrational thought—but feel like I’ve got to try to get people to stop fighting…I might not be concious in the moment that telling people to just love everyone and be kind etc. is actually something harmful. Don’t be afraid to call me out on it though.
And something semi-related, at least to the extreme fear of conflict: if ya’ll haven’t been able to tell through some of my posts through the years, I am an extremely timid person. On top of that, I have the issues with dysnomia and communication and simply cannot flow through real-time or near-real-time conversation (especially verbally).
So, as I said above, I simply run away from conflict. I can’t speak for anyone else like this, only from my own perspective as a doormat, but I am super eternally grateful when someone with the same ideas or position in a argument can go to bat for me. I have a few people in my life that will do this for me—my sister, my boss, and about two friends who care enough IRL (and not to leave out, but a couple here from the forums…you know who you are)—and, yeah, that can be very uplifting to know that even though I’ll run away from everything, some are willing to be a champion for me.
But, I need to say this: if you are trying to help someone who is afraid of their own shadow like me face conflict that we can’t…only do it as an ally. Just as many of us in the LGBTQIA+ community want our allys to speak with us and not for us, at least for me, the same is true with regard to facing arguments, conficts. Please, please do not fight my fights without me. Absolutely make sure I’m in agreement and allow you to do so. Because of my issues with speech and writing, I have a lot of people talk over me and also try to talk for me. I try not to get mad about it because the fact that I can’t communicate to you what I want means it’s not your fault that you might fight for me when I didn’t necessarily want you to, especially if you are very quick to come to someone’s aid (I love my sister more than anything in the world; she’s my biggest advocate; but, even she’s known me 36 years and still does this without realizing). It can hurt extremely deeply to have your voice in an exchange be taken away or misconstrued. So, if you are assisting someone in their fight because they are unable to be their own spokesperson, it can be difficult on some of us if you are representing us without our full permission. For me, it might be too difficult for me even tell someone “No, please don’t stand up for me” or if even if I do agree, I might not be able to bring myself to say “Well, that’s not position; that’s not what I want” and have the nerve to correct someone. Just food for thought.
And, on me saying “It can hurt extremely deeply to have your voice in an exchange be taken away or misconstrued,” let me again apologize for gatekeeping anyone by trying to harmonize a situation towards quiet acceptance. I am sorry for trying to be controlling like that.
But also on that, I do love you all. I care what happens to you and worry about how life is treating you. I wish only the best for all.
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That is purely subjective, sometimes I wonder how and why people have so much free time on their hands that they can not only think about silly things like this but actually dissect them.
And to be honest maybe people need to stop perceiving things in a negative way and take it for what it is.
Sorry, but I don’t follow? Are you saying “American Dream” is a farce?
If so my family fled to this country so they wouldn’t DIE! And yes for me and my family the “American Dream” is real. As a child we fled here with literally only the clothes on our backs and not speaking the language. Now, I have a great job, home, and family so for me the “American Dream” is real.
Hold on now I’ll explain.
Its something associated with it. Because in the 1920s we had a big economic activity increase.
That belief of perseverance producing happiness. And money buying happiness. So hey. If you were unhappy. Well then you’re just not trying hard enough. And now you’re ignored and denied. Your “negativity” is completely ignored because well that just tarnishes that.
I’m talking about that part of it.
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There are people who enjoy analyzing thought processes and social interactions. This is why you may not have noticed but there are intricacies in social interactions where thoughts/ideas/behavior/emotions present themselves in verbal and non-verbal ways.
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The “American Dream” that you refer to doesn’t apply to a large number of people. Particularly people of color. Even indigenous peoples struggle with social services in their own lands. I’m glad that, as a refugee, you’ve been able to find a home. There are plenty of people here that don’t have that.
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Yeah my cousin is half native. I can’t recall what tribe his Mom is from. Ooo boy did he have to go thru so much medical nonsense just to get someone to help him when a drunk driver hit him and took his leg.
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