It has only been a few days.
Actually twice a year, usually in spring and in fall, I get totally ravenous and it doesn’t go away until I completely gorge myself and have like a 4000 calorie day then I’m fine and back to one normal sized meal a day.
I might be going through that triggered by finals.
Basically a few years ago I started uni without a treating psychiatrist due to no fault of my own. The job at the office I was assigned to by my insurance was vacant. I didn’t have access to my meds, some of which are controlled substances that only a psychiatrist is willing to prescribe. I failed a class in my first semester.
They put me on probation and refused my request to be exempt from mandatory study hall because of my unique circumstances.
So I was attending 12 units of lecture, office hours, working with a hematologist, two psychiatrists, a therapist, two obgyns, physical therapy, and six hours of study hall a week all between 9-5. My disabilities made making use of study hall impossible so I still had to do homework when I got home. Instead I spent six hours a week mentally beating myself up over something beyond my control.
I ran myself ragged and broke. I couldn’t get out of bed or function enough to petition for withdrawal before the semester ended.
I was given WUs which are basically Fs that bring down my gpa. I was thrown out of my dream university. Then a few months later I became homeless.
The school refuses to fix the grades despite my circumstances and doctor’s notes. Until I do 12 units with no drops or withdrawals or failures.
I went back to community college part-time and was on route to fix it and then covid happened. I had to drop one class when covid happened because of a learning disability not working well with a zoom class.
So I got into a new uni. I passed my first semester of half time classees with straight As.
I took a really hard class this semester and I worked really hard to succeed but this past week was literally the make or break.
I think I passed. Probably got a B.
If I did I will get my grades fixed and the dark cloud that’s been hovering over me for two years can finally start to go away.
But I don’t know yet. The professor hasn’t posted the final exam grades yet.
Next semester I go back to full time. I’ve strategically picked classes that fit my majors and that I’m ahead of the curve on so I should be successful and will overwrite the trauma saying that I can’t do full time.
