When I get in really down moods I binge watch the reimagining of Battlestar Galactica because nothing puts things in perspective like a dozen planets getting nuked and the survivors fleeing from sexy killer robots.
Also an amazing soundtrack.
Neat.
Still have to clean my room. Got a decent chunk done but eugh. Depression sinks their claws in when I try. Iâll just take my decent chunk as a small victory for now
I suffer from impaired executive function as a part of my ADHD. My room is an absolute disaster.
Iâm goin to work for now Iâll be on later
Yeah. hard to talk about with my mom just because she thinks Iâm being lazy. She eased up a little when she had her own depressive issue. I think she has that mentality of feeling shame for needing meds or therapy. Itâs something kinda common in her generation compared to newer ones. So a lot of stuff just goes unsaid.
Kinda why I ended up being so chatty online. I donât have much else
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My mother kept me from getting treatment for my depression from a young age. I secretly saw therapists in high school. I had an episode with ideations in my senior year and my therapist called my mom and made her take me to get help.
My mom cussed me out the entire trip. Spewed stigma.
She later had to get meds herself but the stigma is always there and she never understood why my condition was different than hers. Like she couldnât grasp that Iâm my own person and a sum of her genes and my dadâs genes and inherited diseases from both sides.
Then again she also blamed me for her decision to terminate a pregnancy. Sheâs basically a narcissistic sociopath and Iâm so glad to have gone no contact with her.
Sort of a similar reason Iâm only chatty online, donât really go do many thing due to the rural area.
Mine wasnât like that. Had to see therapists since I was a suicidal 9 year old. However I never really explained stuff to Mom like what I talked about in therapy. And that habit has just kinda stuck for the last 22 some odd years.
This fear and habit is also why I closeted myself so fiercely. I wasnât scared of her. I was scared of someone else in the household. I didnât really get to start untangling that mental knot til I got away from the other person.
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Thankfully I get weekly therapy now so Iâm getting better.
Iâm sorry there was someone in your life you were afraid of.
I love me a good comfort showâŠMostly because I have a hard time starting new media and have just been rewatching the same things for the last year lol.
But ahhhh those were the days. When I cared about arguing with these people. No more wasting a ton of time with THAT
I am having a cook out for my Bday this weekendâŠI have to clean my house and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i should get started.
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Great! There are so many great threads here in the General Discussion forum, donât feel like you need to come back to this one. Ever.
Have fun at work!
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Yeah itâs hard for me to get into new things as well. I have this weird fear of surprises and being disappointed.
Oh happy early birthday
For me itâs always like âThis is a show that will require minimum 70% attention for me to absorb and understand what is going on, but at best I can give 30% right now.â So I just rewatch familiar where I can dip in and out and know whats up lol.
And thanks! I am. Very old.
All my love to you tho. Hopefully things just only keep getting better and better <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <# <3
Ugh. I hated growing up rural. The. Worst.
Being a rural gay nerd SUCKS - Thereâs no one to bond with and no one who shares interests!!! (Thats my exp)
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Wanna know something stupid? I think a lot of that fear I mentioned is because of one really bad year of video games.
First we had Mass Effect 3, awful. Canât even play 2 anymore because it all feels so pointless.
Then we had Bioshock Infinite. Garbage.
THEN The Darkness 2. Also awful compared to the fantastic first game.
That triple barrage of being hyped then let down ( on top of other events in my life at that time / stress ) got to me a little. It was all just this nasty ball of stress that shattered.
Thankfully some of this stupid fear I have can be skipped over if Iâm watching a lets play of something. Or videos reviewing a movie or tv show. Therapy has been working on the other stress I mentioned. I know I ramble a lot about my life but some stuff I keep to myself.
I donât think that sounds stupid at all. I know there are reasons behind a lot of my actions, and I real should deal with those, but hey, if you have things that help you get through it thats great. Lets plays are nice, but I only like them if there is noâŠperson? Like I just wanna watch the game play I dont need the added commentary hahahhaa.
I am glad you are getting help too <3 <3 Keep up the great work and DO THE THINGS the therapist suggests. I have a friend who constantly complains they are making âNo progressâ but when asked if they did [What therapist said] its always no and like???
Honestly you named 3 games I have never played. My backlog of games is so long, but for thoses its a lot of âItll just be very overwhelming to start this new gameâ so then I feel like I cant give it time to appreciate it andâŠIts a whole thing./
All of 2020 has been great stress for me too. I miss working in office because otherwise I am alone a lot and just end up napping. That doesnt help with a lot of things.
Itâs just odd to talk about this stuff sometimes because you always get that One Guy showing up all âPFFT YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS HARD!?!?â
But yeah if you want a neat game try the original The Darkness.
I still wanna get the remaster of Oddworld Strangers Wrath now that itâs been on The Switch for a hot minute.
As for therapists heh yeah. Itâs hard to see progress so I get how your friend feels somewhat.
The brain can be a wonderous but terrifying thing. Itâs all just meat with electricity going thru it as our jellyfish like nervous system is piloting a bone mech. But the fact that stuff can break it and the brain tries its hardest to still function is impressive.
And not everything with mental illness is a burden. There are some weird positives if you think about it. My borderline personality disorder for example makes it really easy for me to read someones facial expressions. Along with a stronger sense of empathy and compassion. Since every emotion is basically amplified. All the positive ones are too.
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I have turbo empathy and itâs an absolute curse.
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I hear that. It can be hard sometimes.
I used to be ashamed at how much of a crybaby I was because of it. But I later went âAh to hell with itâ and embraced that side of me.
Itâs nice sometimes to cry anyway. Your tears are ejecting the chemicals making you sad out of your body.
I was bullied all through school because of the crying problems. It was the icing on the bs cake.
Worse, my mom married one of my bullies dad.