I would delete the following from his vocabulary files:
“Overall we’re happy with [insert incredibly unpopular mechanic or system]”
“We’d like to do more [insert something fun], but only where it makes sense”
“[Insert tedious, unfun chore that is a barrier to playing with friends] is an iconic, core pillar of the games identity”
And then thank him for his passion for the game we both love, despite our differences of what we love about it.
Pretend to be someone else and then send him to my sister’s.
Probably just say hi, and then ask him what possessed him to drive like 7 states to my house, maybe check to see if he has a parent or guardian I can call because wow… is he lost at that point.
That answer probably isn’t exciting, but I don’t care enough about a video game to have some sort of weird grudge against a man I’ve never met.
And now I am out of ideas.
He can come in.
But he has to go around the block 100 times, and gather up any coins he finds.
When he has 100 coins, he can buy an item that allows him to look for a new kind of item.
He can go around the more times looking for these new items.
Each lap has a chance to give him 1 to 3 items. He will need 1000 items to come into my house.
But he can only do 50 laps around the block each week.
But I’ve got many toys for him to play with in the yard while he’s waiting to accumulate all the necessary items to come into the house.
Of course once he has all the times, I will reveal to him a secret step I didn’t tell him about before, that will take another month before he can come into the house.
But to make him happy, I put more toys in the yard, and added a new kind of item he can gather.
Punch him in the throat
I agree these are some of my favs too!
I’d wonder if he was stopping by to duel me because of the salty where’s the world wPvP this xpac help, comments, and trade trolling I have done since the xpac dropped and I geared my main to hurry up and wait for something that probably won’t happen anytime soon.
I let him in he complains about how in optimal my house set up is. He isn’t wearing any matching cloths. When asked why he just says these have the optimal stat who cares about looks.
He makes his way towards the couch I ask him why he hasn’t brought the rest of the “customizable” coffee set. He says there was never more and it was just the one tea kettle (which was missing the hood)
I said ok I bring him coffee he boasts about his coffee IO score and his optimal raid team. He bursts into tears his wife is sleeping with another man. I comfort him and send him on his way.
I walk to the bedroom his wife is waiting for me, I take off my shirt FFXIV is tattooed on my chest we make love all night. The end.
Kick him in the balls, punch him in the face, and tell him thats for ruining wow and then slam the door in his face.
Slam the door.
/panic
Oh light no!
Hes gonna nerf my house and force sylvanas wall papers on my walls!
I would honestly invite him in for a drink and tell him he’s doing a good job. I would also tell him not to take the insults of people on GD seriously because they’re all tilted keyboard warriors.
Invite him in… he seems like a nice guy. Maybe visit the forums and chat about some peoples concerns. He probably wont alter what he and his bosses have decided on… but so what… I guess we are supposed to pretend he is some kind of demon or something. Children need monsters and villains.
Call the local jail and tell them to go ahead and get a bed ready for me. I’ll be there soon.
This thread reminds me a lot of this video
Hi Ion. Want a Rockstar? Will you cater to my WoW appreciation a little and create a path through BGing to decent gear? I mean, I know there’s already sort of a path but, have you checked out Savix’s suggestion for solo queue? I think that could be good for the game. I know it’d make me keener on arenas. Anyway, thanks for sharing a Rockstar with me Ion. I’m sure you’re very busy and I’ll let you get back to work. Nice to meet you.
bang bang gang gang 
