Looks around at all of his “nothing” to steal
shrugs
You can find your way out.
I live in the Southern part of the USA
do I have even to say what I’d do?
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Ask him if he needs a partner so I can feed myself and have some friends.
Put it in my wallet, because you should always carry protection.
Oh, robber…
I start to speak with my Borat accent mincing around the room saying, “You will never get dis, you will never get dis, la la la la la!”
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I keep a bag of wasabi peas under the pillow and force feed him those.
Guess I’ll die. 
Send the Four Horsemen of the Ebon Blade after them, which is why the Four Horsemen were not at Icecrown when Sylvanas attacked.
I would probably do something stupid and then get killed.
Well if I’m not too konked out from all the Cheetos and mt dew I shall reach on my wall, reveal my huge samurai sword and do battle with thee.
“You must really be scrapping the bottom of the barrel to be trying to rob this place. Get out before you get shot.”
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Probably introduce him to the castle doctrine using one of the several peacekeepers I’ve got stationed in my room.
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I cast death grip on him. Then I slowly bleed him to death.
One round 12 gauge loaded for Grizzley bear slug should have it covered.
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Somewhat NSFW
I would death grip him, tie him up and tape his mouth. Than take what he has.
summons ghouls
My ghouls could use a snack, gotta hide the evidence.
I assume he would inventively run if he catches me staring.
If not, I’ll be more than happy to escort him home.
First I log on to WoW with each of my 50 characters and then I start whining about politics in the trade chat. Forget about having a good life and doing things I enjoy. I just want to complaint like the softest cry baby you have ever met in your life
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Just laugh for four minutes straight and go back to sleep. 
The guys going to be really confused what just happened.
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