Yeah lol besides you never know when you may need a weapon just like what this post is about 
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running for your life itās is Shia labeouf
Ahh. Ok 
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Damn, twice the carnage I get 
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Bear might be more scary but I donāt want him scared. *shifty eyes
I keep one on mine too actually. Though it has a terrible handle and is mostly for show, super dull. Basically more like a giant metal beating stick!
Well, Everything about my Smith and Wesson M&P AR-15 chambered in 5.56 NATO says: āYou entered the wrong houseā LOL!
and thatās if my dogs donāt get to em first!
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My dog takes a chunk of his behind.
Yeah I used to keep a 12 gauge next to the bed but then I moved to Europe and that crap all has to be locked up and disassembled when not in active use. 
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The loot was your friendship all along
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Iām pretty sure the legal answer to this question in my state isnāt allowed in these forumsā¦ soooooo
Dance off for the TV get rekt nerd
Chuckle, tell him he can take whatever he wants then watch and see what he decides to take since I donāt have anything worth stealing. If you stole everything in my room you MIGHT get $500 if youāre lucky. The bulk of that would be my PC from 2012, rest of whatās in my room wonāt go for much of anything since itās just my bed (possibly not working) mini fridge and clothes.
Mozambique drill.
Wake up to my fore fathers reminding me of my 2nd amendment rights, the one some of our current leaders are trying to take away. Heroically pull [insert awesome gun name here] from behind its hidden stow-a-way release cupboard and storm towards the intruders. Unload the entire thing. Then I wake up and realize I donāt have any weapons. I live very frugally so the only thing I have worth value is about 2 years old and password, hardware locked (my computer.) Walk towards the intruders and laugh with them once we all realize they just wasted their evening robbing a dude who doesnāt keep stuff.
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First, Iām gonna assume their genderā¦then proceed to insult their intelligence.
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Lmao good one.
If the robber is an attractive guy I will ask him whether heās going to tie me up or not.
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Laugh at him and tell him he picked the wrong room cuz I have nothing and im broke as #@%&!
Grab the longsword directly to my leftāwhich is a legit properly made sword that is very sharp and scaryāand tell them to bugger off or get shanked.
What? Viking Santaās got to defend himself.
Call it a fair fightā¦thereās nothing quite like an armed naked celt with a woody screaming his warcry while heās charging youā¦as a general rule you donāt walk away from that encounterā¦and it get bloodyā¦just sayin you might walk in to my house uninvited but youāre not going to walk outā¦the only question is whatās at hand at the momentā¦and how funny the story is that I have to tell the cops with a straight face afterward. Donāt do itā¦it is, in point of fact, a trap.