You say that as someone who has never been to that mmr range when I’ve been as high as 6300. So let me tell you why since you missed it last post. Top of the ladder requires meta strategies, aka you do 3 builds in each matchup on repeat like a robot. Your opponents are also doing the same exact builds. So it’s boring. The game isn’t a strategy game at that level, it’s a mechanical game. Games are decided by how fast you click, not by any other factor which is, again, very boring. Winning at a 6k+ level requires tremendous effort, and you have to spend most of your free time waiting for the matchmaker to find a match and, when it does find a match, it’s always an opponent 1,000 mmr below you. When you only have 2 hours to play some games in a day, it sucks to have to waste half your time waiting for a match. Time is valuable. There are lots of negatives to being high level and basically no upsides.
5k by contrast takes literally zero effort. You find a match instantly. There is wiggle room in strategical choices and so you can do any strategy that you want. I’ve been in GM for a year now by making swarm hosts off 1 base vs terran. That’s fun. I’ve been doing 2 base hydra, mutalisk swarm host, swarm host infestor spine, loads of fun unit comps while the losers at the top of the ladder spam the strats they’ve been doing on repeat for years and years. There is literally no cognizable benefit to being over 5k mmr.
I think I’ve figured out where you are coming from, though. You’re an old man who has a lot of regrets & is playing the “what if” game where you say “had I done this differently, maybe my life could’ve turned out differently.” Let me tell you something. You can’t change the past so it’s not worth worrying about & it’s detrimental to worry what you can’t change. You need to be realistic and focus on here and now & what problems you have in the present. The past is a distraction. It takes your attention away from what is real and in front of you now. Even if you could go back and change things in your past, there is a 99% chance they wouldn’t turn out the way you think they would through your rose-colored glasses. You can’t change what you can’t change, it is what it is, the only thing you can change is how you react to it, and you’re reacting to it wrong.
You need to make a list of the problems presently in your life and sort them from easiest to fix to hardest to fix. If you can’t decide, you put them onto note cards & shuffle them together. You draw two. You have to decide which is easier of the two. Place it in the easier pile & the other in the harder pile. On a notepad, make a tally of how many times each item ends up in the easy pile & repeat this experiment, shuffling the deck each time, 5 or 10 times. The one that has the most tally marks is the easiest to solve. Now formulate a plan to solve it. Once it’s solved, revisit the list and focus on the next item. You can do this. Your past is a distraction from the now. Ignore it. You can’t change it. It is irrelevant.
If I performed this experiment, the lack of “6k” mmr wouldn’t make it into the top 100 problems of my life. It’s the definition of irrelevant. If you think faux rewards in a video game are important then you’ve got a screw loose, my man. They are the definition of irrelevant.
You aren’t the first person to experience these feelings, by the way. You can draw inspiration from others:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuUmLMVUs3w
If i could turn back time I would return
Back to the place and memories I left to crash and burn
What felt right back then I could never see
The foolish ways of my mistakes would come back haunting me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIuZUCpm9hc
My shadow’s shedding skin
I’ve been picking scabs again
I’m down, digging through
My old muscles looking for a clueI’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been
I’ve been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in
I want to feel the changes coming down
I want to know what I’ve been hidingIn my shadow
My shadow
Change is coming through my shadow
My shadow
Shedding skin
I’ve been picking
My scabs again
Stop picking at your scabs. Let the wounds heal. Move on with your life. God speed.
EDIT: remembered another one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgikGBh6pbI
Foreclosure of a dream
Those visions never seen
Until all is lost, personal holocaust
Foreclosure of a dreamBarren land that once filled a need
Are worthless now, dead without a deed
Slipping away from an iron grip
Nature’s scales are forced to tip