Mercy and Roadhog, forever and ever

There are loose ends, friends, and a knot to be tied. Blizzard revealed unto us who Mercy’s heart belonged to. It’s official:

http s:/ /imgur.com/a/ZhJJY

Roadhog and Mercy are to be man and wife. This much has been documented both by history and by Imgur. But the wedding itself has not been described.

Until now.

The blushing bride and the wasted groom stood in the cathedral at King’s Row. This is what is known to us.

Junkrat was the best man.

Zenyatta was the priest.

Mei, Symmetra, Zarya, Tracer, Ana and D.Va were the bridesmaids

Sombra was hacking the government database to expedite the wedding certificate.

Ashe was passed out face-down drunk on the floor, with B.O.B. standing guard.

McCree couldn’t wait for the wedding to end because he can’t smoke inside the cathedral.

Soldier76 couldn’t give a rat’s expletive and is smoking in the cathedral.

Reaper was smoke in the cathedral.

Doomfist was plotting to break them up.

Sigma was planning to break the cathedral up.

Moira was planning to break the world up.

Widowmaker was jealous because Mercy’s husband was still breathing.

Torb and Brigitte were fixing the wedding limo, also known as the payload.

Rein was nervous because he drank all the booze without realizing it and now his hammer was spinning in circles.

Lucio was doing the wedding as the resident DJ.

Hammond was French-kissing a nubile young hamster upstairs at the pipe organ.

Orisa was guarding the doors to the cathedral like a loyal puppy, while her loyal puppy guarded her.

Baptiste jumped too high by accident and couldn’t figure out how to get out of the cathedral attic.

Winston was trying to jump up and free Baptiste from the attic, while eating peanut butter.

Genji was arm wrestling with Hanzo to prove who’s the better man.

Bastion was stuck in tank mode and had run out of tank shells.

Ganymede was bombarding the whole wedding, in rage about Bastion not being able to let her roost on him right then.

Pharah was trying to defend the wedding by blowing Ganymede up because of it.

And then, they all shuffled out the cathedral and onto the payload in their fancy wedding clothes; they came to a wedding and Overwatch broke out.

Remember, gentle folks, love is forever. Even when Hog is the groom. Even when Mercy is his bride. He can now kiss the bride; if she can stand his mutated breath.

19 Likes

I regret reading this.

I truly regret reading this.

19 Likes

Someone has too much time on their hands.

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No fair. I wanted to marry Roadhog.

11 Likes

I don’t use this often but:

What XD

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r/blursedthreads

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i will not read this

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You are a hero. You made me not to read it.

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what is this weird stuff ?

You should definitely read it.

and suffer with us.

3 Likes

Nope.

Roadhog is my favorite character and I dont want to read fanfics

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Take that PharMercy shippers.
Ana doesn’t approve anyway. Mercy blongs to Roadhog.

OW 2 gonna be a Mercy X Roadhog life smulator

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The reddit thread he made for this was equally hilarious

h ttps://www.reddit.com/r/Overwatch/comments/51sn7w/i_wrote_a_message_to_blizzard_asking_if_i_could/

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Youd think this would be in reverse

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McCree is a gentleman and would never disturb a wedding by smoking during it, especially inside
Also Mercy already gives him grief about smoking in general in some pre battle banter. he’d never hear the end of it if he smoked during her ceremony lol

2 Likes

What… have i just read?

i was a spiderpig man myself but you convinced me OP

to Mercyhog!

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This warms my heart tbh,
Our sweet, kind, beloved angel… uwu…owo…,
married off to some random Swiss Medic chic.

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Lmao

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