Re-writing auto-response from Blizzard Support is fun

Hears my latest rewrite. By all means post other hysterical but truthful rewites.

Hi there, impotent Support

I’m a customer. Thank you for responding with lip service.

I understand the limitations placed on you about penalties. Unfortunately the decision to remove any penalty or provide extra points that has to be made by the game’s developers and that customer support cannot override this decision nor provide any individual resolution is simply another example of how Blizzard could care less about it’s customers.

Even in this case, once everything is resolved, and when the inferior developers will be able to analyze the situation and double check if any changes need to be made nothing will ever be done. As everything is done automatically rather than manually by a real person with integrity and morals, you will not have any warning about this decision because no decision is actually made.

Apologies for any in-your-face revelations about the skill, integrity, morals, consideration, or the lack of rational and logical processes by dev’s and the policy makers whom have been there too long and are just putting in time to collect a pay check, but it is what it is. Thanks for the understanding and patience.

Kind regards

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Would it be more funny if they just closed your ticket without a response?

I don’t think the automated responses do anything except to make people more angry.

Oh they do that too, and no it’s not more funny.

Bigger the salary, the less applied intellect. Their policy makers haven’t learned that point of yours as per my first sentence. None speaks louder about how they value, listen, and care about their customers, than not being able to take the time to write an individual response without macro pasting portions. Too busy CYA’ing to ensure every agent says the same thing.

Guess they’ve never heard of ChatGP, and it’s ability to rewrite things? Like sticking in an auto-response/macro and generating 5-10 different variations. At least it would feign individual personal attention. But like I said, the decision and policy makers salaries are so big now it’s preventing them from actually using the intelligence that got them the salary in the first place.