I wasn’t going to jump on the haterade train against you, until I noticed you had “2 posts” and are claiming this is the “first time ever posting.”
idk man, a madman sees what he sees. I’m not going to say you aren’t feeling what you’re feeling. Facts don’t care about feelings, though.
For your third post, could you elaborate on what decks you’re using? Maybe we can help you out, figure out why you’re struggling, recommend tweaks to your deck, etc. Turn this into a bit of a constructive thing with positive vibes.