Her pets wouldn’t stop biting my bones
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He said he loved me and didn’t mind me chewing on his bones in Ghost Wolf form. On occasion, one would break off and I’d bury it in the back yard, but still, you didn’t need to hit me with a rolled up newspaper!
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They came in with the heads of Sauron and the Balrog strappled all over their faces and then yelled out that i was going on a magical adventure to mount doom with 13 dwarves and a hobbit to drop a ring into a fire. I Zippidied do dahed looted the ring of power, it had +10 more item levels! But i couldn’t figure out why all these demented soul wraiths kept visiting… i bet if i stand in a fire, my dps will increase though!
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We were supposed to have dinner with my parents but disappeared all weekend. When he finally showed up and I asked where he’d been he came up with some nonsense about dwarfs and a hobbit (what the frell is a hobbit?) and stealing a magical ring they wanted to throw into a volcano.
So I told him to take the ring and go jump into the volcano himself.
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Something about going sober to meet the inlaws…hic!
I mean who really wants to be sober when they meet their inlaws?.. hic!
I’m not even sober when I meet my regular laws and neither are they!..hic!
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He couldn’t stay sober for even a minute!
She was a gnome. And a gnome death knight at that! Dont know what I was smoking to think That was a good idea…
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Apparently she has a history of getting with Gnomes when she’s drunk. I wasn’t the first.
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don’t like gnomes, would sooner go back to Penumbrae
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too much of a thot
I wasn’t comfortable with her demons watching us.
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She stopped smokin fel with me, I knew we were over when her eyes turned yellow.
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When he said the fel in love with me which I misunderstood at first. Ugh! Took days of spinning Elae’s revolving door to clear the house out. Later, I read in the paper Krenidor and the demon toaster eloped, but that they came to a bad ending after stealing some chili fries from Hawkens and Malochai.
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I didn’t divorce her, she divorced me. For some reason cleaning the shag carpets in the house scared her off. I took my shirt off so I wouldn’t get it dirty and as I was lifting a brown shag rug up on the line she screamed and ran out the door. So much for me doing house work in a relationship…hic!
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I think he was hairier than my former pet bear.
I was also hairier than her former pet bear. 
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At first I didn’t mind much the double spy business thing but…then I realised her loyalties lied only with herself…and that excluded me.
He’s fondles demons, instead of absorbing their power, so it was doomed from the start.
I actually don’t know why would divorce her, got so much in common with the horns…
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Her obsession with horns left me feeling more like a dental patient than a honeymooner. When she left through her revolving door I was completely at a floss, er… loss. Ugh. /sigh
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