DI dwarves are SUPER racist…and kept smoking the bed. Not in bed. Literally smoking the bed. Was weird.
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Whoops forgot my glasses
Male human paladin. Need I say more?
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We were doing fine as long as the demon toaster stayed away and we avoided conversations about the light, saving lives rather than incinerating them and her playing “I don’t have to vacuum because I don’t walk on the floor” game by hopping about the furniture with wings and trashing the ceiling fan with her horns. The final straw was mistaking a chunk of fel for wasabi. I will never be able to eat murloc sashimi again. /sigh
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I realized we have done this at point several times, and just enjoyed the snu snu then left.
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So how was I to know I’d done strändhögg to HIS church! They all look alike to me!
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You married me you are supposed to know my holy hammer from someone elses. If you didn’t just have anyone tank and spank for you, you probably would have noticed!
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You never took off your mask, and I couldn’t even determine your gender because you refused to give me any
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I am a male paladin that is easy to tell in WoW. No malibubarbie figure so yeah…dude. It wasn’t my fault you were blind being a DH!
You are a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but at least your not a rn star here is your father agreeing with me
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You were a series of terrible mistakes I have married apparently. Smelled of faintly rotten low tide, and your light isn’t as bright as you think. Friggen Belfs man…
We were just two cool dudes getting married so I could get on his insurance. Jared’s lawyer uncle helped us get an annulment.
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He only married me for my insurance, unfortunately we didn’t read the fine print when I took out the policy, I had to be alive for the insurance to work! Imagine that.
We got divorced, because the money scam didn’t work out.
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His hair was prettier than mine and honestly, I just couldn’t have that.
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She told me she was a vegan…
So i kicked her out of my house, and made sure my house is vegan free.
Chili fries are meant to be real meat!
But i will miss our cuddling sessions…
/sniffle
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Hogged all the chili fries.
She was a beach. I can’t stand beaches. Sand is coarse, rough, and irritating—and it gets everywhere.
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Weird obsession with beaches. I’m more of a forest gal myself
She stole my mog. No one steals my mog. (It is a good mog though.)
She just ran around all day saying “Bone storm!!” I get it with the mog and all. But after a few weeks it just wasn’t funny anymore.
We had too much in common that it started to be creppy to be true.