It certainly was a mess but I had a ton of fun playing CoH/CoV back in the day. Victory server was my haunt.
I just want to be able to lean against a wall, maaaaaan.
Going back a bit, I’ve met Dave Mustaine, Billy Corgan and Russel Simmons and all of them were insufferable douchebags who hated their fans. I got a chance to hang out with Thrill Kill Kult but they were all smoking crack and I bailed.
Never, never meet your heroes.
checkin out Record of Lodoss War finally. Loving it
I’m having another stress day at work. Several of our employees decided to call off because oh no, cold weather (only 1 of them works outside and only partly - he’s a driver).
I’m working in a hazmat software I’m unfamiliar with. Form won’t print out correctly. I’ve been in Options and Preference and everything looks good. Until I print. It’s missing hash marks on either side that are supposed to be visible. Shows in preview.
I’m supposed to have a corporate adviser to help. He’s incredibly impossible to get ahold of. Our customer wants to ship their hazmat today. I finally reached the adviser and he’ll get back to me in a couple of hours. Which I don’t have.
And at the end of the day, the office is going to sit down and figure out what we’re doing about the distribution of work left from firing our incompetent bookkeeper. Our accounts are an absolute wreck right now. I can tell I’m not going to like the direction of the meeting.
Just give me all the chocolate you have. Wait… I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of chocolate. ’ What I said was, give me all the chocolate you have.
Ohhh which one? The OVA is very good! The TV show is a bit of a let down compared to the OVA but still great! The best part is Parn is based off a newbie player in their DnD campaigns, once you know that, it’s like OH LOL
I feel like Lodoss should be required watching for Warcraft fans because you can tell the early team was watching this show and thats why we have bunny ear elves.
Work announced layoffs in Spring, this isn’t the first time I’ve been through layoffs. I never been cut because my team is pretty resilient but I’m a lot more stressed this time around. My partner was just laid off from their company so it just seems like an ill omen for me.
Didn’t know there was an OVA; watching the TV series now. I love that classic anime feel.
Getting busted back down to grunt at my own workplace. I’ve been with the company for 20+ years so the pay difference from being an hourly supervisor to grunt is going to be negligible.
I don’t buy the reasoning to bust me down like that (I literally have zero memory of doing what I’m accused of doing), but I also realize my year as Salary followed by being put in an area of the store I actively hate and having zero time off to transition between the two responsibilities has me hanging on by my mental finger nails. And a common side effect of severe depression/anxiety is memory loss. They claim to have me on camera - I don’t dispute the evidence. I just flat out do not remember the event occurring in the way it supposedly did.
They’re putting me back in the area I actually started in, and was there for 18 years. I’ll be working nights, which I don’t mind since a big reason I left that area to begin with was the 2 am wake up calls for my commute. Leaving the house at noon is a much easier prospect in that respect.
In some respects, I still feel like they’re just humiliating me until I give up and leave on my own as opposed to firing me (As I’m now on a Red Disciplinary Action which means one more bad screw up in a year and I’m done), but at the same time like I said I’m mentally hanging on by my finger nails.
Being responsible solely for my own little corner of the store and not having to deal with workplace drama and personalities is going to be immensely therapeutic (I can literally refuse to engage with the drama as opposed to being a supervisor where I had to stage manage it because as the song quite rightly says - High School never ends) , and since I wasn’t terminated I can take advantage of the company’s mental health resources to actually get my 41 year old rear to therapy and hopefully repair the massive cracks in my mental foundation.
It’s strange that they haven’t shown you the camera footage they claim they have. But they could also be gaslighting you and nothing went down the way they claim. Companies do that all too often
My company meeting yesterday solved nothing. We’re juggling 2 employees’ positions and are going to replace our bookkeeper in a few weeks. There’s at least one of our employees who needs to be let go and that might happen next week. Those things should solve some long-term issues, but nothing for me.
I’m pushing for the bookkeeper to be full time and take some responsibilities off my plate so I can keep building sales. I have a laundry list of things things to do but no real chunks of time to do them.
Yeah, it’s hard right now to tell what is and isn’t my own skewed perception of intentions. End of the day, I took a leap of faith into the unknown and flamed out spectacularly. I have no regrets - I tried something new, enjoyed it, but I have zero work-life balance self preservation tools and unhealthily sabotaged my own principles and character. I burned out completely to the point I couldn’t just go back to even being an hourly supervisor effectively (Though there its more I got exactly one day of job training before being thrown on my own for 8 hours at a time. Yes I did processes wrong, because there was no one available to tell me what the right process was).
I’ve been asked to keep on with my current responsibilities until the week’s end - so two more shifts - then I go back “home” to the Produce department. I’m sure I’ll have stuff to re-learn. Policies change and processes have new guidelines all the time. But I’m looking forward to just having to worry about two departments (As since my departure the Meat department has been rolled into that onus of responsibility) and being capable of minding my own damn business.
That more then anything is going to be transformative I think. I was a supervisor for over a decade. I’m so tired of babysitting peoples personalities, temperaments, and complaints. Just give me a straightforward task, the tools to accomplish said task, and let me be. I’m low key kind of amped to be a grunt again. Trade in that damn walkie. Ear Buds aren’t allowed at work, but enforcement of that is spotty so after a year’s gone by and that disciplinary goes away, I might dare them to try something with a 20+ veteran who can keep a department full.
I watched it back to front with my spouse in 98 and can’t remember a single thing about it. I blame other bad choices.
My advice- quit and find something that’s at least tolerable as opposed to destructive. There’s one philosophy on work that I always keep- If I’m not having fun, then I’m not working there.
I’ve worked with and for horrible personalities before; I’m now a business owner so I just deal with myself. It’s better. I have more fun. I’ve also had fun being an employee so despite the fact that you’ve been there forever, I would say EFF em and get something good and fresh.
Just my two cents
Thought about it. Seriously thought about it.
But the place has great benefits, and being there forever means I basically get a crapload of easily acquired vacation (that I’m going to start using more aggressively). But the benefits are the core here, since I am afflicted with a permanent DoT (Type 2 Diabetic) and I want to keep myself off Insulin for as long as possible. That means better living through better chemistry.
End of the day though, at this point I’m just being stubborn as hell. I’ve felt like they don’t want me there. Fine. Then don’t have me there. And be forced to pay for my unemployment.
There’s always a balance, true
Yes, yes it is. In my case it’s what I call “fuzzy time”. Stuff happened, I’m mostly aware of it - BUT, I can’t give you details or put it in a reliable chronological order.
Four years ago, I lost my job of 10 years. Reason given - officially -, I wasn’t doing all of my duties in a timely manner. The key word here is “all”. I wasn’t doing the duties that I did not know had been assigned me. When I found out about them, and tried to do them, they interferred with my “known” job duties. And everything spiraled out of control from there. And there of course, their was our human resources rep. who didn’t like me, and decided that I should be gone. Yes, I worked in a very petty environment.
Two year before, I had hint they were coming for me. I got a heads up from my supervisor, and made sure that I was covered by the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act, for those that don’t know) and started a paper trail - just in case. But I should have also looked for another job and gotten the heck out then. But I didn’t. I got complacent. It was a miserable two year. The depression got so much worse, as did the anxiety. At some level I knew I was on borrowed time. And, at some level, I didn’t care - I was done, I was toast.
Getting fired was - in the long run - one of the best things that could have happened. It was like getting out of a toxic relationship. Yeah, it took me 4 years to find a regular full time job. But the stress of that was no where near what that job was. And now I’m having to relearn how to act in a safe environment, and not assume that I going to get fired at any minute.
All that to say this, depression and job stress create a negative feedback loop. Sometimes you need to remove yourself completely from that situation. Don’t do what I did: just slap a bandaid on the situation, and just wait for it get better. Leave on your own terms. Start looking for something else now - something better. And if your current work place has resources you can make use of, then use the hell out of them. It’s scary and hard at first, but it will be the best thing for you in the long run.
That more then anything is what I’m doing. The slap in the face wake up call was when my mother told me she wanted her son back. This lead me to ask my wife of 13 years if I’d been different recently, and she also confirmed that I wasn’t the same person I had been.
That’s why I’m glad I’m not (yet) being fired. Because the place has access to a no cost, 12 sessions per year one-on-one Therapy/Counseling sessions. And I need them badly to get back to who I used to be.
Yes, use them! Use anything else you can find and access! There is no job worth all that BS. If I learned nothing, I learned that.
I stayed as long as I did partially because being in a constant state of not being able to do anything that was “good enough” erroded myself esteem to the point that I thought I wouldn’t be able to find another job because I was so awful.
The depression was being nearly unbearable. And the worse the depression got, the harder it was for me to concentrate (I was doing data entry for billing and payroll for 300+ people) and the worse they said I was doing. And the worse they said I was doing, the worse the depression got. rinse and repeat.
I would like to point out, that no one - and I mean no one - missed a pay check, or didn’t get the right amount. Pay roll was spot on - billing was behind. And not that far- I stayed about 3 days behind where they wanted me to be.
Anyway, I don’t want to ever see anyone go through what I did. No one deserves that crap. Make your plans and lay some frame work for your escape. And use that therapy!
In the long run, you will be okay. <3
In my experience, HR comes in two flavors:
I am genuinely trying to help people and maintain a healthy workplace environment that keeps everybody safe and happy, but Corporate has their hands around my neck and squeezes every time I try to do the right thing.
&
I’m not trusted to be around small animals and sharp objects, and I’m too sadistic to become a dentist, so I went for the next best thing and decided to abuse the Corporate handbook to make working around and under me as miserable and emotionally taxing as possible to get my jollies instead.
There’s a lot of the first version, but it is the second version that ends up in charge of the department.