Elves are, by definition, perfection. But perfection can be intimidating so some players choose to play non-elf races instead. So to help those players ease themselves into the perfect race, here are the WoW races by how close they are to the perfection elves embody.
Races will be scored in the three categories that make an elf an elf.
- Extended Lifespan
- Superior culture and magic
- Sex appeal
Humans: 0/3
Humans and all their derivatives score at the very bottom by default because humanity is the benchmark by which elves are superior.
Dwarves: 1/3
Dwarves have extensive lifespans, however their culture and attractiveness are about the same as humans.
Gnomes: 1?/3
Gnomes might live to around 500 years old. Maybe. It’s unclear.
Draenei: 3/3
Despite having no genetic ties to Azerothian elves, Draenei score quite well in every category, making them fully qualified elves.
Pandaren: 1/3
Pandaren have the culture down. That’s about it.
Dracthyr: 2½/3
Normal form Dracthyr have the culture and lifespan down, and while they fail at being sexy they make up for it by cosplaying as elves.
Orcs: 0/3
Orcs don’t score much better than humans, and are even worse in many ways. Fortunately this scoring system is pass/fail, so they get the same score as humans.
Tauren: 0/3
You’d think after centuries alongside the Night Elves they’d at least be comparable culturally, but no.
Trolls: 2/3
The Zandalari hard carry trolls as a species, but they’re still not quite there in terms of sexiness.
Goblin: 0/3
Living in a dump is kinda their whole deal. That’s pretty much the opposite of being elves.
Vulpera: ?/3
There’s zero information about how long Vulpera live on average. But they definately don’t qualify for the other two points.
And of course
Elves 3/3
Elves are in fact elves.
