There are things that make playing a healer less stressful, like if you imagine playing with the likes of Pikaboo etc compared to a random that is sitting at 1K rating, the healing experience would be completely different between the 2.
But generally, think of every scenario that you feel responsible for as a DPS and times that by 3 for a healer. You are reponsible for keeping yourself alive? The healer is responsible for you, themselves and the other guy. Avoiding CC? The healer has to do that from 3 people. Watching your CDs? Healer needs to do that for their whole team to avoid overlapping their own CDs. Now that’s not the exact same for every class, but gives an idea.
There is just much more that you need to be aware of as a healer than you do as a DPS and when it goes wrong, it’s always the healers fault and that in itself creates alot of stress.
I do hear what you’re saying that it’s a team effort and I agree it absolutely is but, the healer just flat out has to have more awareness than your average DPS.
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All of the things you listed are things that DPS has to do too tho. Higher skill people like Pika know when you’re in a stun and he will CC the enemy team 1v3 to keep everyone alive. It’s literally the same concept. The difference is you make your teams health bar go up and the dps reduces the damage the enemy team does, but both accomplish the same thing.
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Eh for the most part if you’re a good player trying to win it can be stressful for both. Bad players though will 100% only be focused on BIG DAM and say look at their dam when they died, so it’s the healers fault.
HOWEVER… You lose a game by someone dying. The easy default is to blame the one person who’s job it is to keep people alive (even if dps are a good part responsible). Additionally it’s pretty easy for the 4 dps you play with to pile on and blame you…
Also as a healer a lot more of the cc is directed your way. Stuff you have to actively avoid with good positioning. DPS positioning is important but healer positioning is more important and it is made extra hard by following mongo DPS around trying to keep them up while avoiding cc.
Healing is definitely more stressful. The degree to which is definitely debatable.