This is an unreasonable request for cats. Eating books is too much fun. And it takes about three shredded books to make a nice litter box.
I thought this was going to be an āAsk me anything about loreā post. Now Iām sad.
Cats are not allowed in the library, apart from my familiar, Sir Scratchington III, Esquire. He is usually located near the bean bags in the Childrenās Books section.
I attempted to post a picture but apparently this internet forum will not allow me to.
And yet, here I meow.
I will allow this. For now.
I NEED TO GET A BOOK
Knocks a book off the top shelf onto Bread for Samtaya to read.
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Please, please, good patron. I am dealing with other customers at the moment. Do you have the name of the book you are looking for? Perhaps I could look it up by author?
ITāS A BIG BOOK YOU COULD SQUISH A GNOME WITH IT
You say that like itās a bad thing.
If you donāt refrain from yelling Iām going to have to ask you to leave the library.
IāM NOT YELLING YOU JUST HAVE DILATED COCHLEA
Greetings customer. My hearing is impeccable. You may be suffering from Klazomania. We have a section of books over here to my right next to the Kidās section where Sir Scratchington resides that explains your āallegedā condition. Please feel free, the library is open for a few more hours.
THATāS NOT THE RIGHT BOOK ITāS BIG AND KIND OF RED I NEED A BOOK PLEASE
I would appreciate it if you didnāt reek of putrefaction whilst speaking with me.
tap tap
What is it you want? Please be specific. Donāt make me summon security once again.
(Lady Cyndi Lou points to the Big Red Book on top of the UFO Conspiracy Shelf.)
/smile
Greetings, honored patron, I appreciate your presence. There are refreshments here at the front desk. Please donāt mind my familiar Sir Scratchington III Esquire who has established himself next to the bean bags. Make yourself at home.
I NEED THE BIG RED BOOK ITāS KINDA HEAVY THANKS
āPlease stop yelling. I showed you where that book is.ā
Iā¦Iām sorry Sam.