Should I leave my Guild?

I post this on an alt of mine to avoid invoking any drama between myself and the guild in question, however recently I’ve found the guild I’ve joined to be of some issue and I’m unsure of how to approach it.

I feel as if though any time we are casually chatting or my opinions come about no matter what it may be on I get dogpiled and ragged on by them forcing me into a strange position of where I feel I should just up and go with no problems, especially when I feel as if no one particularly likes me.

At the same time if I do so I feel as if my Main of all characters will grow some form of negative stigma or hatred on the Server due to this guild in question being a rather popular guild with well-known people on the Server Running it who are connected with a lot of other big guilds.

I’m left in a very hard position because I don’t want to go making assumptions about people and a part of me also wish to bring up my concerns but I’m afraid of stirring drama especially when I don’t want to stir anyway.

I look for advice on what I should do?

If you have to ask this question, the answer is almost always yes. You’ve established yourself as one who does not conform to the group consensus or submit to the established social structure. When you don’t fall in line, you mark yourself forever within that structure. Bringing up your concerns now will likely only result in further resentment, and your words will be regarded as those of a disgruntled dissident to be ignored.

It may seem like your RP rep will be ruined, but such things often seem to reach farther than they actually do. As long as you aren’t doing anything that is truly morally reprehensible, this will pass as Chessna said before me. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Fly solo for a while to get your bearings again. And then, if it suits you, find another guild that is more compatible with who you are and what you’re looking for.

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Just leave man, worst they are going to do is dog-pile you on alts whispering you which will be slightly irritating for you to just put them on ignore and maybe toss afew tickets to bliz about a bunch of no-lifers giving you a :poop: time playing a bideo-game your way. If afew people still like you or are generally cool with you despite the split then maybe they’re worth hanging out with on occasion.

Man I remember the time my old guild split and I was stuck with ‘the realy crummy one’ and spent months with them just grinding my teeth. sure some of them where ok people but it was overall a mind-breaking thing of stupid after stupid. and when I said ‘im finaly getting out, cya. If you still wana be on friendly terms with me thats cool’ I get a 'wOw WaY tO bE aN :racehorse: ’ and just tossed me along. Its been so long I honestly dont remember the exact words.

So yeah op, if its too much of a pain to stick with them just leave. you aint going to miss much and there’s like 0 they can do to make you physically stay.

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You play a game to relax and have fun, not add further stress and tension to your life. If, at the end of the day, the guild isn’t adding to that fun, then by all means leave it. You’re under no obligation to tell them why or to go into a big deal over it, short of being an officer or holding some major responsibility in said guild, at which point ‘needing some time away for personal reasons’ should more than suffice. It may also serve to cause less of a scene if you wait to leave till few if any other guildmates are online, so that there’s less talk of it right after or people whispering you on it. Times like that, it tends to be days before anyone rightly notices and when they do, it’s long past being any sort of interest.

Either way, do what’s best for you, in that sort of situation. No need to subject yourself to more negativity, and there’s plenty of ways to either be vague about your reasons or to leave quietly so as to avoid animosity and drama. Best of luck!!! :slight_smile:

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So, the main thing is, the longer you stay in the environment where you end up being dogpiled on… you’re further building a negative reputation with these people, and whomever they end up talking about you or about your conversations with.

Though, from past experience being in your spot and seeing others being in your spot, the best route is to gray rock until you move on – don’t give them a reason to remember you leaving.

Another thing to remember is if someone feels comfortable in a group, they’re more likely to band in with others on what they agree with, even if they don’t actually agree (or care) about what topic is on hand. Peer influence, especially in big, active guilds, is very much a thing to be aware of.

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I have to second what Feyahni said; if you are asking yourself this question, you are usually better off not being in that environment. Playing WoW, or any other game, is supposed to be fun and a leisure thing to do. The moment the fun is sucked out of it, it’s no longer for your own entertainment. And honestly, no guild no matter the size, is worth putting up with what you are describing. If they cause a stink about it later, don’t even dignify it with an answer - they should soon enough lose interest and if it gets really abusive, report and ignore are your best friends.

I don’t normally join guild but I did join one on an alt. It’s a pretty known guild that also has a forum presence - however, once I left a couple of other ex-members asked me why. I didn’t really get into why but they did share with me their reasons… which funny enough mirrored my own. It showed me that no matter what sway a guild may hold in a community, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. You’re likely not the only one feeling that way if the behavior is so blatantly obvious.

I wish I could say I am surprised the GM/officers have not stepped in yet in your case… but I can’t. So if it was me, I’d be long gone in your situation, OP. Like others said, there’s no reason for yourself to be subjected to a negative environment where you don’t feel comfortable.

One founding principle at my guild (and something I personally live by) is that this is a game: If you’re not having fun, something has gone horribly wrong.

You should feel no guilt for leaving a guild if they make you feel bad. I sincerely hope you find a better group to have fun with.

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My framing is from the perspective of a guild master, so take it as you will.

It feels like I’ve failed if someone leaves the guild quietly. Could we have done something better for this person? Are they alright? As a guild master, it’s your responsibility to help all your members feel apart of the greater whole.

These people make you feel bad, and that is terrible. But, who knows you feel that way? The officers? The guild master? Any friends in the guild?

Do you think it would help you if you expressed your concern about your own reputation and your place in the guild to the guild master or officers? Sometimes it only helps when you reach out to tell them something bothers you, as maybe, they haven’t quite noticed it as an issue as much as… disagreements.

The honesty is something you can hold to your chest as a shield in case they try to “ruin you” for leaving, and, it brings out their true intentions and behavior. If you tell them how you feel, and you’re shunned? You’re vindicated. You were honest, with honest intentions and set out to communicate your thoughts in a healthy way. No one can chase you off or give you a negative reputation for leaving with your integrity intact.

But it could also go well! And they could be professional about it, and see to it you’re comfortable in your space and apologize for the negligence. It helps to be optimistic.

So? Try to reach out to a guild authority, and see where it goes. It will bring out their true nature.

Regardless, you have our support here. Hope the best for you.

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I have a hunch what said guild might be, though ofc I could always be wrong, surprise me.

Not much fluff I can really say here without repeating what others said already, so I’ll just say this: you are your own person and nobody else can control you. Don’t let others make you feel bad for your decisions to leave. If they guilt trip you or some thing, tell them to screw off, plain and simple.

If they try to “expose” and shame you, then that’s a bit more of a complicated matter.

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Also I wanted to add to comment on this.

No one’s actually that connected to the entirety of the server; and if a group thinks they are they have a huge ego that needs to get checked. There’s always options.

I don’t even know half the people on this server, just the ones who are in the spaces I roleplay in.

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So you believe that every guild is known the same?

I don’t know, seems a bit odd of a point. For example, I’d expect you to be one of the more known people given you’re one of the ToA coordinators.

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Not that every guild is known the same, but that they’re not all connected as much as some assume. So, it’s an assurance that no one guild can ruin someone’s reputation just because they’re known.

People might know about me, but I don’t really know most others.

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Somewhat true, but people who are more well known usually have more saying power because - well, people likely think they’re better people since you just see the good side of them so you’re more likely to side with them.

I have some personal stories, but can’t share them here.

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I think all the advice here has covered things nicely so I’ll just add onto it. Moon Guard is a big place with a lot of different communities inside of it. Some of them seem bigger than they are because you’re only interacting with people within them or and going to their events/hang-out spots. Having to find a new group of people can be discouraging, but it’s 100% doable.

if your unhappy leave. No one will stop you. If they do verbal harrasment to you get for leaveing then that would justify your reasoning. No guild is worth staying for if your being abused.

Absolutely you should yeah, no guild is worth being treated badly <3

I think you’ve already gotten a lot of great advice from a lot of caring people. Everyone is saying if you feel like leaving, leave. They are probably right. Let me throw out the other possibility just in case this sounds like you. If it doesn’t, feel free to ignore it.

I’ve felt a little bit like you a lot in the past, especially when I was younger. I would think everyone was ragging on me, or nobody liked me, and quietly leave a guild just as you are about to. In retrospect, though, it was almost never true and largely projection on my part. I had a tendency to just blow things up before I could ever fit in somewhere. Then I could look at the rubble and say, “See? I was right.”

Not to sound super weird. Again, that is probably the less likely scenario than the straightforward one you and the others making comments/advice are throwing out. I just wanted to weigh in because if someone was about to make that same kind of mistake I have, I’d really, really, really want to help them if I could.

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I left a popular guild on a much smaller RP server.

Was still able to find places to belong.

If you are unhappy. Leave.

Moon Guard is big enough that you can easily find other RP circles.

They sound like that old guild of mine where if you weren’t of the same political alignment you were a horrible terrible person. Forget them.

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Not every guild is for everyone. So don’t feel like it’s your problem if you feel like you don’t fit their mold. You’ll find another guild that you like better.

Here’s what I would do in your place. Make an alt and put it in another guild that seems to fit what you’re looking for. Play that character for awhile and stay off the one in the questionable guild. See what happens. If you fit better in the new guild, then log into your main and give them the “my friend has a guild and I’m going over there” speech. That way you’re not telling the guild that they did anything wrong (even though you may feel they did) and there’s less animosity.

OP, if those nerds can’t bench their own body weight then their opinion is already invalid. Leave the guild, but definitely voice your concerns in guild chat before you do and take screenshots so you can defend yourself in the event they try to attack you. Document everything.

I wouldn’t worry about any secret cabal of dorks though, especially when you can just screenshot everything they say and completely out them to everyone else.

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