It’s best to be honest and try to have a dialogue, but often when there is a lack of chemistry issues start to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don’t psyche yourself out if things could work- it really is only you who can properly judge.
But do be wary about people lying to other guilds about you. It’s a thing that happens here, sadly, and they don’t require the truth to harass you. If a break is to come do it on the best of terms possible. Beyond that it’s out of your hands.
Don’t play screenshot games. No decent people do that.
This entirely. Having a record of foul play and keeping hold of the truth is important. Unfortunate it needs to be that way, especially in a place we all use to escape a little, but a good tool to keep the space comfortable for honest people.
On the topic at hand, much of the advice given to you is sound, OP. Obviously communication about what might be causing issues can help, but the fact of the matter is that many, many guilds don’t even make it past the six months mark, regardless of size, so any long term issues won’t really arise from that.
People vastly overestimate just how big an impact people have, and how interconnected the ‘community’ is. You ever RP with someone at random, really enjoy the interaction, only for that character to suddenly drop off the face of the planet? It’s very easy for a person to get lost in the shuffle if they so choose, and sometimes it happens for a variety of reasons.
If you’re not having fun, and feel constantly ragged on, and your attempts to try and figure things out have been met with scorn, then leave and just keep doing your own thing. You’ll be much happier for it, and might even found a guild that suits you much better and helps develop your character’s story.
Agreed.
Saving screenshots is unfortunately part of protecting yourself. Blizzard isn’t going to accept that at face value but can use the date/time stamps to pull their logs. If the guild or members of it are being sketchy, try to keep any necessary communications in game rather than Discord where Blizzard has a record and can monitor.
This is generally what people who have something to hide want you to think.
Game chat screenshots can help stop others from gaslighting you (or worse). Please don’t discourage the OP from protecting themselves.
Posting this as a reply to the OP so he gets a notice from it.
OP, feel free to add me on Discord if you need any counsel or support. I’m generally always around: Zaria#4012
Since this thread is nearing a week old, hopefully things have worked out since then. But as I stated in my original post here - everyone here is cheering you on for your happiness and safety, and here to support you. So updates on this are welcome, if you’re comfortable.
While it is always tempting to cut ties and leave right away, I think it’s better to try to reach out first. A guild’s GM and Officers can’t know to fix an issue and apologize if they are not aware. People leading a guild should do their best to make an environment welcoming to all their guildies and mediate disputes accordingly. While those who lead a guild should do their best to be aware of disputes like this, sometimes things can slip through the cracks. Letting something sit silent and fester helps no one.
If you’ve not already left, I’d encourage you to talk to someone first. Be honest. Point out the moments you felt so isolated and overwhelmed. Contrary to what others have said, take screenshots to share with the GM/Officers. Disagreements happen but there’s a level of moderation that should take place to ensure people keep level-headed and avoid isolating people. Being as detailed as possible can help people see the issues you’ve had.
You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who reads every message in a Discord and Guild chat 24/7. Leaders are not omniscent and Leaders are not a hive mind. A problem one Officer may be part of may be something you reach out to another Officer or the GM to talk about. They may serve as a mediator. It’s important to present your problems to an Officer or the GM so they can attempt to investigate and work toward making things a better place, not just for you, but for those like you. Nobody wants to alienate guildies purposely. Always err on the side of ignorance, not malice.
Zaria’s response to the OP has a lot of good ideas and I tend to agree with her on her advice. I’ve interacted with both Zaria and Hopewarden before, I’ve seen the history of things play out. I’ve seen them both IC and OOC at RP events and beyond. Zaria’s words hold merit with me. Hopewarden’s do not.
To Ilithyll, I can only say that this is not an example of what OP is worried about. Hopewarden both initiated the aggression in this thread and then began deflecting at every turn. They’ve caused a fair amount of trouble IC and OOC. They’re eager to convince people not to believe screenshots because they know the evidence is damning. Hopewarden is an example of someone who has dug their own grave and is so eager to convince themselves and anyone who will listen that they never had the shovel.
To the original post, If you aren’t happy where you are, there are a number of ways to go about it, IMO.
You could bring the situations you’ve been having with your officers and see if something can’t be hashed out. A lot of times, communication can really go a long way. It is difficult to get that ball rolling at first, the idea of putting these problems on someone and such, but those Officers (should) be in that position ready to help if they can.
You could try to find out why people are dogpiling or ragging on you. It takes some work and more communication, but if you feel that the place you are in is worth fighting for, then you go fight for it.
You could also just leave. If you are unhappy somewhere or the people there are acting in ways that upset you, you shouldn’t feel remorse for hitting that G-Quit. That’s not the kind of crew you’d want to be around. Your group should be supportive and it should be a fun time for everyone coming in.
If it isn’t a pleasurable situation, you don’t have to put up with it. Your happiness comes before everything else. From the community as a whole, to individual opinions. You aren’t RPing to get put down OOCly. This should be an uplifting experience for you.
If it isn’t, who’s anyone to say otherwise. You’ve got this.
Trust me. I feel you. Considering my personal experience is against the inner-circle that is the Military RP scene on Moon Guard. I fought with the girlfriend of one of the guild leaders (of another guild, not my own) over using a picture I didn’t claim was my own, yet hounded as an art thief and removed on the basis of being aggressive to my guildmates with no evidence, no trial, only punishment, kicked from the guild. I made the mistake taking it to the forum before. As a result, the server-wide RP events Im basically blacklisted from, any guild I join is threatened with barring from the server-wide event for housing me amongst their members.
Uh, sorry, I was there for that thread you made. You were temporarily kicked from the guild you were in, until you made that thread calling out the people whose job it literally is to moderate the MoonGuard Wiki and try and keep it clear of art that doesn’t belong to the character (god help them now that Artbreeder is popular). When you made the thread, that temp kick became an actual one, but there was no blacklisting from any server wide events.
You’re literally in a guild now that goes to server wide events, and is adjacent to the one you were kicked from. I’ve RPed with other members of your guild at those events.
I have no dog in this fight, but this is another example of someone changing the narrative to suit themselves because they think it happened long enough ago that no one remembers what happened. Unfortunately, while I have no dog in this fight, I have a very good memory for things that are entirely useless to me in the real world.
Edit: Holy [Edited by Blizzard] you two are replying quickly, you must be watching this thread like hawks.
Forum Moderator Note: While clever, that was still masked obscenity and thus not allowed on our forums.
The Fifth hasn’t been active in awhile due to reasons Im not obligated to provide. The last server-wide event that we partook in was months ago in Blackrock/Searing Gorge. They whispered my guild lead personally demanding my removal. You’re one to talk about replying quickly, watching like hawks when you yourself are. I don’t know who you are as you hide behind what I can only assume is an alt as I have no memory of you. I will not get into my drama regarding my mess as its not the focus of this thread, all I will say is that you do not own the ingame screenshots of your character, yet the mods claim its viable.
Thank you everyone for the support, while I haven’t decided quite on how to go about it yet these are the sort of situations you have to handle delicately (And truthfully several IRL problems popped up to take my attention away from it.)
I can say the advice given here has been nothing but helpful and sound and I’ll hopefully have a decent resolution for what I end up doing by the end of the week.