I never said that you couldn’t feel things the way you apparently do. There’s nothing I can say to change that. All I disagreed with was your lashing out at someone offering sympathy.
That doesn’t ACTUALLY do anything to help though.
Here’s the thing. And it’s something that took a long time for me to realize and it’s the most important thing I’ve learned over the years.
YOU AREN’T THE ONLY ONE HURTING.
You’re doing this thing people tend to do where you pretend their own pain is some unknowable thing, like you’re the only person who has ever felt that way and why your depression is special. It’s not. You’re not unique. People are at their core, painfully alike.
Many here, including me, have been hospitalized, in-patient stuff, etc. Hell, video games are a common outlet and escape for people with mental illness. So you’re in good company. One guy I met in the hospital was literally tortured by his grandparents to the point where he couldn’t function. However bad you feel, someone out there feels the same, or ten times worse.
So when someone offers even the slightest bit of positivity when they themselves are also suffering. Just take the f****** offer or walk away.
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Please shut your mouth. You literally have no idea wtf youre talking about. Especially your 3rd point, thats probably the most selfish thing for someone to say and people say it all the effing time. Your 2nd point is hella cringe aswell. You dont know peoples reasons.
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Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone? I’m concerned about your thread.
People react different ways to death. No one knows what to do about it because there is nothing to be done.
It is what it is.
So when people say platitudes, I let it go because I know that’s all they’ve got.
Same when they offer donations, etc… All they’re trying to do is fix a problem that isn’t able to be fixed and is just a part of life.
Sometimes the best thing anyone can do, is to do nothing but listen.
Be well everyone.
Yep. One of the things that actually did help me was knowing that I wasn’t alone. It just took an awful long time for me to figure that out.
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Ditto. I met a nice girl in Inpatient that was almost a carbon copy of me because of the same conditions we had. It was comforting to see someone that understood. She even explained a few more behaviors of Bipolar Disorder that explained a lot.
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youre wasting your time imo. seems like a narcissist. npd doesnt go away. or bpd. or whatever he ends up having.
You are sick. Just denying everything I’ve said to make yourself feel better over “positivity” that is self-serving at the least and straight up victim blaming at the worst.
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I have struggled with suicide.
I have called the suicide hotline more than once.
I am not saying this to brag, but to give context with what I am going to say. I know not everyone is the same, and different things help different people. I am fine with tailoring a response to someone you know personally. But statements such as “think about the people you will leave behind” aren’t generally helpful.
These sorta statements are wordier “stop being selfish” remarks. They don’t help a person in depression. They just give them more to feel crappy about. I know this, because its been used on me. The first time I attempted, my father told me that I should think about my brothers. You know what the effect of this was? It tail spinned me into another depression. Now I felt I was letting people down, and being selfish. Because I couldn’t get over my “thing”. It also had the effect of making it even harder for me to open up to people I knew.
It would be years and years before this was addressed.
When a person is seriously down. Don’t say things to guilt them. Please.
You know what helped me the most? Just having someone there to talk. It didn’t matter about what. One time I called the hotline, and the person just talked about the weirdest things ever. I remember thinking (at the time) how much of a waste of time it was. Why isn’t this person talking to me about depression, suicide, getting me to hang on?
After I hung up from the call, I realized…thats what I needed. Someone, anyone there. To just talk. It didn’t matter about what. I just needed someone to be there.
My advice, is if you know someone is really hitting rock bottom…don’t say things to “fix it”. Just be a friend. If you know the personal intimately, you can adjust how you come at it. And yes, sometimes drastic measures are needed.
But realize, this is often a fight someone has been fighting for a very very long time. They are emotionally, physically, and mentally…tired. They just want to stop fighting. For a moment.
When a person tells you they are suicidal, they aren’t giving up. They are using the very last weapon they have to fight it. Don’t guilt them. Don’t shame them. The words you use, you may have the best intention. You may not intend on them being taken a certain way. Just be aware when a person is that far down…the rational side of their brain is not there.
If anyone ever needs a stick. I have a collection thats been passed on to me. I will share.
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Words of wisdom sir!
See now this can be taken as you fishing for validation now. We don’t know you. You could be trolling.
But no one isn’t listening to you. You’re telling everyone that what they are saying is garbage. I understand. Most of us has felt this many times. So yeah everyone is listening, you’re simply not getting an answer you want, because there is no answer you want.
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First off, I would argue that someone expressing their support can be helpful. It lets you know that someone out there is thinking about you, may have experienced something similar to you, or is simply cheering you on. When I was in group therapy, the other participants couldn’t do anything to really help me, but the knowledge that there were others who feel a similar way to myself and who were on my side was very comforting. The impetus is ultimately on the individual to look for someone who can help them. There may not be people surrounding you that can reach you in the way you need, so it eventually becomes a necessity for you to find someone who can meet your needs yourself. The thing is, though, that even if some stranger can’t be there in person that doesn’t mean they can’t be thinking of you. That doesn’t mean they can’t sympathize, and reach out, and tell you something that you might need to hear. That doesn’t mean they can’t look at you and feel something genuine for another human being who is suffering. The world can be a painful place, but that doesn’t mean that everyone in it is only making gestures of goodwill for their own sake. I hope that my sentiment can reach you. Even if I, or the other people in this thread, don’t know you personally doesn’t mean we don’t feel something for you or anybody else who is going through a tough time.
It’s not just potential validation fishing, it’s them inadvertently guilt tripping people.
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I’ve been in his exact position before. Feeling like garbage, saying something contradictory and getting swarmed by others for it. This isn’t helping and really comes off as kicking him while he’s already down.
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Just saw the images of folks gathering in remembrance and respect for him. It’s really touching and emotional.
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Are you kidding me right now? Whatever.
With all due respect dear sir ,Op,People that are subject to depression don’t actually think about that when there deep in it.You wouldn’t even know at times if they are depressed not even a love ones would not see the signs.
You don’t care about me, please stop telling me otherwise. You have no reason to and I don’t expect you to but telling me repeatedly that you do as if it’s something to consider when thinking about the realities of my life is nonsense and absolutely self-serving.