How long do we have to stay there and why weren’t we given a choice of servers? We want to play together but when we select change realm the game wants us to create new characters instead of being able to play on the same server.
Depending on your level, it would probably be easier to just create a new character on the same realm as the other person. You can manually select the realm at the top of the character select screen.
The other option is to pay for a character transfer, but if you are still low level then just make a new character.
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Nobody has ever reported having a character created on a realm different than the one that was on the creation screen.
The game does not put you into different server that the one on the creation screen.
I am quite certain of this.
However, it may be that neither of you deliberately chose your server, but when you entered the creation screen, you did not use - or perhaps even notice - the red “Change Realm” button on the top right.
And so you may each have been randomly defaulted to a different one one of the “New Players” servers, and you didn’t affirmatively select a specific server.
I am sorry that, as a new player, you now have to deal with this complication.
First, an explanation (that you really shouldn’t have to deal with!)
I see from your character that you are on Hakkar.
Aegwynn, Bonechewer, Daggerspine, Gurubashi, and Hakkar are different named realms, but they are all on the same gameplay server. [1] If your spouse is on one of the others, you are actually on the same server, and you can do any of the things people on the same named realms can do. The only minor annoyance is that when tagging for main or chat, you may have to use a realm suffix, like talking to “Spouse-Aegwynn” rather than just “Spouse.”
But if that’s not the case, or if you are not comfortable with that solution, then restarting one of your characters after making sure you changed realms is the best option. It’s possible to pay for a transfer between realms, but unreasonably expensive.
I know how hard it is to start a new character. I remember how important my initial progress to 10 and 20 was to me when I began.
But getting to 10 is a matter of an hour, maybe two. If you stay with the game, you WILL rack up thousands - maybe tens of thousands - of hours. And that one hour lost will fade in importance.
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[1] See the forum https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/c/aegwynn-bonechewer-daggerspine-gurubashi-and-h/90 which deals with that group of realms
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Thanks for the informative explanations! As players new to WOW we did not notice a way to be in the same place. We made an incorrect assumption that we were on a ‘training’ realm that would eventually lead to choosing a final shared realm. Since we just turned 10 we will probably just rerole our characters. As that seems to be the quickest/cheapest option available to us.
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for sure. definitely something they could make clearer in the new player intro
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Yeah, that’s what I believed when I first started. Blizzard really doesn’t give new players enough grounding in what it means to select a realm, but I get that understanding it all is a massive and intrusive infodump for a beginner.
P.S.
IF you are BOTH rerolling, you might BOTH choose a different realm.
I see the from the stats https://www.wowprogress.com/realms/rank/us that “Connected Bonechewer” is quite a small realm, with a Horde majority. That’s not where I would choose to make an Alliance character.
I play on EU rather than US, so I’m not personally familiar with US realms, but sorting that Wowprogress list by Alliance population, I see
- Stormrage, which is a VERY large server subject to lag at busy times at the start of patches, with some people heavily into competitive play, and maybe too busy for two beginners who just want to explore and play together.
- Connected Jubei’Thos is in Oceania, so you don’t want that.
- Sargeras, which is still quite sizeable
- Proudmoore, which I understand to be the unofficial LGBT-friendly server
- Dalaran, which looks like it hits a pretty decent size for a quiet realm
You can get a quick overview of each of these realms by looking at their realm forums.
Stormrage,: https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/c/stormrage/83
Sargeras: https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/c/sargeras/80
Proudmoore: https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/c/proudmoore/78
Dalaran: https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/c/dalaran/63
I don’t know if this is new, but you cannot select a realm at character creation. You get sent to wherever by random selection. Once a character has been created you can select a realm but it will take you back to character select. We found this out because we were caught in this loop and now have three characters, of which only the last is where we selected:( So next we figure out how to delete a character LOL.
I have fifty-something characters. It’s a thing we lifers do - and you will too, if you hang around. 
You start as maybe a Night Elf Hunter, and then at some point want to see life as a Tauren Paladin, and then … ooooh! there are Void Elves in the game now! and Mechagnomes! and awww aren’t Vulpera cute?
So I am maybe too familiar with the set-up screen. 
When you start a new account completely fresh, you have no realms or characters, so Blizzard helpfully picks a default realm[*] for you. You can change it, but you probably won’t.
When you Change Realm and choose a realm on which you have no characters, that’s fine, and of course it puts you into the Create Character routine, because since you have no characters there, literally the only thing you can do there is to Create one.
You will find the Delete Character button at the bottom right of your character selection screen. But you don’t have to delete them - you can have up to 60 characters on any one account, so their existence is not restricting you at all. 
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[*] These default realms are labelled “New Players” realms, and I, like you, and like everybody else who didn’t read up on it in advance, thought that these were effectively learning areas. They are not. They are regular realms that Blizzard wants more people to play on because the population is low. So they helpfully suggest them.
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I bet you hit the random pick for me. The realm list has a drop down so you may pick a realm and start creating.