Awe I’m sorry to hear all that /hug
I would maybe see if the online services would be the best bet and or seeing if therapy may help in some regard. Mom has PTSD from things that happened with her (I ain’t getting into all that here cause it’s really bad) and went to therapy.
Thank You All!
to me that’s nothing to worry to much about all of my fellowship has been over the internet
Fellowship of the ring? :o
Come stay with me for awhile it’s only around like 70-75 here lately every day. 
I would but cali traffic would make me just go “oh no” 
not quite lol
But you’d get me, me and to go shopping with me, hanging out, etc. we could go fun places as well like Disneyland, Universal Studios Hollywood, Knott’s Berry Farm, etc. 
Lol ok that balances out then XD
The eastern side features a very large mountain range which the rain clouds tend to not pass, so it’s pretty green and nice from the coast to the mountain range and then it’s a lot of desert and stuff until it reaches the western side. Northside is hot and humid as it’s closer to the equator. Southside is cooler as it gets wind up from Antarctica. That’s my understanding at least.
Also, I think around 85-90% of our population is within like 30 miles of the coast and 65% of us live within 5 of our biggest cities. There’s a loooot of empty space.
There used to be a huge body of water in the centre squillions of years ago but it dried up.
There was another Disney film set in Australia around a similar time. Fern Gully. It had Robin Williams and Tim Curry in it. I think you’d both appreciate it for those two alone lmao.
Ferngully wasn’t Disney. That was about the rainforest
Oh oops. Thought it was for some reason.
Try not to take your inability to manage your anxiety in that moment as a failure. Do not beat yourself up over it. Anxiety can be quite difficult to deal with.
I’m not going to give you actual advice. I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, and…I don’t necessarily handle my anxiety well. Yeah, I’m medicated, and it helps, and I’ve talked to professionals a fair bit in the past. But, yeah, a lot of times I still just start worrying cascading into irrational catastrophe after catastrophe in my mind, and I cry—bawl at times—a lot. And, I fail to ground myself. And, it is what it is. Plus, I’m not a medical professional. I’ve been diagnosed for about 23 years but have struggled forever (I’m 42). But, I fail at managing a lot. So, yeah, don’t take any actual anxiety advice from me…
Just know though that you are not alone in suffering from stuff like this. There’s plenty of us out here in the world trying to live with anxiety. And, if you are not able to overcome it in one moment, that’s just a temporary set back. Next time maybe. Know that I care and wish you the best. 
Guess today is just gonna suck. All my meds and therapy and yet there are still days where I wake up fine. But like an hour or two later I’m just freaking sad.
Hate when the clinical depression still finds a way to show up. My moods probably not gonna be great because of all the politics going on for the states atm. Ugh this is gonna be so annoying.
Its more just the loud mouths that never shut up online about it. You mute one and 5 more show up.
I know I have things in my past that I don’t talk about that have created the person that is here called me. I have stuff I never talk about, and I have stuff I just mentioned, and I know that is not much to go on. I enlisted 16 days after 9/11 and served proudly. I never talk about this not because I can’t, it’s just stuff I prefer not to. I don’t think I’m overly affected by that. I had a job as a truck driver before I went in, I was able to enlist into the ARMY with that job and be in the infantry, then I when I discharged, I was right back at the same job. That was years before my medical issues started.
I think my medical issues play a far greater issue than anything that happened before and it seems that is when all my emotional issues started. So, there are days I am gung-ho and go go go and then there are days my anxiety rules the roost. I don’t get it.
Tomorrow, I see my phsycho-therapist for the first time. I have to have two meetings with him before he’ll make changes because he wants to meet me. I won’t lie. I’m scared shlit-less and I don’t understand why. I’m going to sleep on it. I promised my mother I would help her by going with her and doing some of her chores in the morning. It’s easy, I don’t get out of the car. I’m just there to go for the ride. I see him in the afternoon.
Someone before gave me a suggestion about a rubber band on my wrist when I feel my anxiety building. That works and I have no idea why. It may not get out of bed and to go to places I want to, but if I’m somewhere where it acts up, it helps.
Thank you all for listening and I’m really sorry to ruin the party. Sometimes I just need to vent and even though this is a public forum, I feel I am with people I can trust.
Thank You!
I feel you because my anxiety is linked to my depression or vice versa. I have been on 180mg of Cymbalta for years. I have good days and I have days my wife just stays away.
I can’t recall if I was ever on cymbalta. I’m just on zoloft along with stuff like hydroxizine and buspirone.
Okay also my mood plummeted because I watched “I Saw the TV Glow” the other day and OOOOOOOOOO boy you swap the pink for blue and that’s how I felt.
Not having access to hormones just makes me feel like a caterpillar stuck in a cocoon. Like “I already liquified. I need to go through a metamorphosis but I’m trapped”
Folks think I’m being dramatic when I compare bad dysphoria with the 80s remake of The Fly. You’re just stuck in your body watching it turn into something wrong.
I want to come hang out with you 
You are always welcome as well. 