Thank you, Jonas.
Even when you were being critical, I knew it wasn’t malicious, and I remember your encouragement.
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Well, about the encouragement you know it’s sincere. If you ever have a talk with any of my friends, they may be able to tell you about that word and why it’s so important to me. 
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Are you pulling the leg, M’amselle?
What I and word bubble, B & I? Remember I’m a guy who can hide his own easter eggs. Can you be more specific?
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Have you ever made a “Bad Swallowing Decision”?
It happens a lot to us older folk, but anyone is susceptible - depending on how big a hurry one is in. I once swallowed the last half of one of those soft-serve cones, so She wouldn’t notice I had cheated on my diet. No evidence – no crime, right Scarface?
I swallowed. Waited. Like some ice-cold “magma”, it came flowing up my spine and caused me to say yeehaw!
Anyway, I found out the hard way today that swallowing more than 2 pepperonis (my WoW snack food) is not going to work anymore.
So there they hung, all three of them - between the trachea and the esophagus, just swinging back and forth, trachea/esopha…got hold of an ice-cold bottle of tea and down it and they went. No muss, almost no fuss. Heh-Heh <<< embarrassed old man chuckle. He knows better, but “whatcha gonna do”?.
Other than that, here’s my second entry in our song thread.
Let The Drums Entertain You!.
These kids put on an awesome show with their drumming and marching. They’re like a sideways centipede. Amazing!
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Yay! I see you figured out the imbedding of a link! I’m so glad!
Also, …those drummers, man. Phew. I’m exhausted just having watched them. That must take a ton of work and concentration.
Were you ever in band when you were in high school, Bill? Or any other extracurriculars?
I was a choir nerd in high school, but I was also on the drill team–which wasn’t a band thing at my high school. It was a dance troupe. We -did- do routines on the field with the band playing in the background, but we didn’t march with them. We -did- do high kicks, though. And cheer on football, which in Texas is a religion. I wish I’d done more drama or newspaper stuff, but instead, I ended up in the young business club…or something like that. Granted, the things we made to sell to other people I ended up buying myself. They were good snack packs! I think I got an award for selling the most of them. (Shhhhh…don’t tell!) laughing
Time for dinner! Thanks for the share, Jonas. They definitely lived up to their name!
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Our high school band had its drumline, me on tenor drum, Kay on snare, Steve on bass and Wayne and Steve on cymbals. We called ourselves “The Fabulous Five”, and the motto we shouted out just before Kay and I went nuts on our parades was “E Pluribus Unum” - anyone know what that stands for? Anymore?
Ja, we had us some steps, but one has to remember it was the 60’s, so when we broke loose it was to The Twist, Mashed Potatoes, Funky Broadway.
The rest of the band numbered 22. 6 of those were majorettes, a coveted position for the ladies back then. Our first chair (the only chair of 2) Greg, handled the trumpet. You know that part in the Star Spangled Banner where it goes "oe’r the land of the free -eeeeeee - that thing? That high note we all hate so much because we can’t reach it? Greg was doing that when it wasn’t cool. Come to think of it, did that part of it ever get cool? Not with me.
The rest was the “Amalgamated Rhythm section” a couple of tubas, a french horn (my girl at the time, Lynn played that one). They played their best, but either one side of the band looked like stairsteps or the other did. The drummers remained away and seemingly aloof from the rest of the band, but with only 5 drummers, we couldn’t spread out like the rest of the band.
I remember also, we took number 1 in our division (AA). And our little band actually very closely beat out other bands with more members. Our choreography was what they liked to see.
That was were the rest of the band shone. With all of us together we had just enough to make the letters V and R (for Villa Rica - my high school). We drummers were the two angles down the V - looking aloof and bored.
The rest were clarinets (the "woodwinds) and flutes (those were metal, so I guess we’d call those the “winds”.) And a few other musicians. One I have to brag on, she played that piccolo part on “Grand Old Flag” _ perfect, and her parents would always be in the right place right place for her solo.
Another thing about high school bands and parades. If it’s big enough you can use the doppler effect off a band as part of it goes by and the next part is coming at you and get what might pass as the right channel and coming at you is the left channel.
And about the kids themselves/ourselves, at every game and during the Band Day competitions across the USA, you’ll find some very talented kids giving it all they have. Ja, they enjoy the game, but when those drum rims begin to click in rhythm, they know that now is their time on the field, and they begin to line up quietly and proudly. A low 8 to 5. In step - to the field. And it’s their show.
And ja, Channie, I was what they called a “Band Buzzard” - all of us were called that by the other students. I made the mistake of asking my then-girlfriend: If she were a buzzard, and I’m a buzzard, then… and I took a drumstick in the gut. We were 17 And miles away from the 21st century.
Also, back then in the 60’s, because I wore my hair shoulder-length and it stuck out from under my Band-Cap, people thought I was a stoner. I was just getting started on beer. 
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No idea where I am in the numbers of posts read, but I am finding it easy to do because some of the older threads just answer each other.
Learning all about velfs and belfs, star-cursed body parts, star freckles (which I liked) and a lot of other stuff. The picture of Alleria Windrunner was awesome.
Back to reading (since I can’t play right now, may as well do my required stuff).
Also did a little reading on TW2 (What I call The War Within). It sounds like it will be exciting - especially as part one of a trilogy! That’s what it is, right? I may have misunderstood that when they had the WoWCoN.
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You didn’t misunderstand! It is one of three, Jonas. So you’re doing good!
Your description of band makes it sound wonderful and exciting, and while I could wax rhapsodic about choir and singing and dancing, I think I’d rather go play on WoW. >.> At least for now. laughing grin
Never thought I’d say that I miss my high school days, but …there were some really good ones in and around all the drama-filled, insecurity-laced days. grinning Anyway…thank you for sharing, Jonas. Anyone else do the extracurriculars in high school or junior high and want to share?
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Ja, of course. Actually there was one more thing I wanted to mention about high school band musicians: I have never, as we took the field, heard anyone behind me whisper, “Oh boy! I don’t know this part!!!”
You either you knew your music or you didn’t, but you were warned by our band director not to ever let the rest of the band down by playing off-key or off-beat.
We were instructed that once a set of lips attached themselves to the mouthpiece, "a sound better come out the other end, and it better be right! " So with that warning, even if we had to stay after dark some days, no one took the field or the road not knowing the score. THAT is where that saying comes from - the old orchestra days!
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That organ playing is pretty cool. I’d never heard one of those before, and I can just imagine if you had that, a few flutes and a drum or two… That might have been a lot of fun–especially with music being not as ubiquitous as it is these days.
I wonder if we didn’t have radio stations or music at our fingertips how much more we might appreciate it. These days there’s so much music out there, and yet I always find myself wanting to make my own. …go figure. laughing
Not sure how I feel about the whole “never play a wrong note thing”…but I guess if you wanted to be the best of the best, that makes sense. Your band was small enough that if someone didn’t play, you’d notice. In choir it was a little easier. If you didn’t know the notes or the part, but you moved your mouth like you did, it didn’t really hurt the rest of the group. Not that I ever did that; I had to memorize everything anyway; so, I was liable to forget now and then in practice. But in performances, I was always wired–300%. Concentration, focus, having fun–performing. It took a lot out of you. By contrast, dancing was a lot easier. Just smile and do the movements your body practically knows by heart. It was still a performance, but for some reason it always felt far less stressful than singing.
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I haven’t thought of these two in probably a decade. Back in the old days of my RPing time I would often get tired of waiting for others to post something, because back then the best RPs were written down and posted in Forums… much like this one. So, because I was impatient, I’d make multiple characters and even accounts if I needed to… I’d then essentially just write stories. These two are my first “couple” they are very much evil people and even they would consider themselves villains, however in the words of others “They might be bad people, but they’re not bad people.” In otherwords they might be bad and willing to do evil, but they had standards, both met while defending an orphanage from a warlord working to finish the genocide of a people he hated.
Eventually they ended up working with a group trying to save the world. They succeeded. These two stayed behind, unnecessarily, because secretly both feared that without other monsters to hunt, they might become the monsters…
Him
The view would likely have taken the breath of another, but to him it was just another thing that was wasted. Before him stood a blue and white orb that slowly moved below him. For a time, a faint trail of fire could be seen marring its purity and for a moment he wondered if they would survive the trip back.
He didn’t feel her presence before she was there next to him. “Beautiful isn’t it.” She said the inflection of her melodic voice making the question a statement of fact. She had always understood him better than the rest. “A view to die for even.”
Her hand slipped into his own, fingers lacing into his own. He mirrored her action giving her the reward she deserved. “You could have…” she stopped his words with a finger and a smile. He couldn’t think of a time he’d seen her do that while free of blood.
“I promised to spend the rest of my life with you.” She said drawing him towards a room that he’d have considered excessive had he designed this place. “I fully intend to do so, and we are going to make the most of the hours we have left.”
He followed letting the one he’d helped to accept her true nature, that of a killer, like himself, draw him into a room with a large rectangular construct of soft cloth, foam and air cells. She laughed, a sound that threatened to quicken his heart, and managed it as he watched as she smiled again eyes lighting up in a way that reminded him of the moments before they would stride into battle putting their nature to use as they butchered those that threatened the rest, the wolves that guarded the sheep… “Oh my, the things I will do to you.” She was smiling looking at him like he was her prey and he felt… pleased… and in danger… was this what the normals called love?
Her
She stood in the shadows for a time just watching the fool as he watched the world slowly drift by. He’s watching over them. Just like he always had. The instincts of a monster, the heart of a guardian. Just like me…
She walked towards him not even bothering to be silent, not that she wasn’t naturally hard to remain aware of… a blessed curse… to be so easily ignored though all I thought I wanted was the attentions of someone… anyone who would accept me. Her heart beat somewhat faster as she drew near him.
She looked at the blue, white marble, her heart beat picking up with flush to her cheeks she repressed. “Beautiful isn’t it.” she said, forcing herself not to blush. It’s just the two of us… “A view to die for even.” She let herself flush a bit, let her heart beat just a hair faster.
She slipped her hand into his, her fingers locking with his own and he returned the simple gesture her heart began to resist her control it beat harder pulsing in her chest and her ears. “You could have…” She silenced him with a finger stopping him from saying something foolish, she didn’t want her last memories of him to be of weakness. The concern though brought a smile to her lips, and she could see his eyes widen just a bit.
“I promised to spend the rest of my life with you.” She spoke the words already, pulling him from the large window onto their pending deaths and towards a room far more suited for how she desired to spend the rest of her time. “I fully intend to do so, and we are going to make the most of the hours we have left.”
In the personal quarters of the one-time lord of humanity lay a far oversized and obviously overly comfortable bed. She couldn’t remember a time she’d slept in anything that looked this comfortable. She laughed his hand flexed just a bit and she smiled and looked at him his eyes widening his heart beating visibly faster in his neck such a convenient location to end a threat “Oh my, the things I will do to you.” She said watching as he for the first time looked less the predator and more the prey. Her heart raced she felt giddy as she thought of what came next even as she feared what they might do to each other… could this be love?
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I have…things to say, but this time I’m going to practice a little more will-power and let Channyn take the lead.
You already know I like your work, so I won’t belabor the point, but Channyn is quite the wordsmith too, so let’s hear from her.
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Well, I think the idea is great! It could use some editing for punctuation and maybe a bit more clarity (as in their motivations and a few physical details here and there). You do a really good job of incorporating the physical aspects of excitement and pleasure in your feminine point of view, and I got the feeling that maybe she was going to end up killing the guy before all was said and done.
I mean, we all know where this is leading, but I guess I felt like she was a bit more “feral” than he was. I do love the idea that these two just enjoy killing and have fallen in with “the good guys.” And now that the “war” is coming to an end, they realize that with the good guys having essentially won, it’s likely their days are numbered.
I’m not sure if that’s what you were going for, but that’s certainly how I felt.
I would love a bit more description of what they’re seeing outside the window, though–the scents and the sounds that are all around them–especially if it contributes to setting the scene a bit more and giving the reader a real sense of what they’ve wandered into. I got the sense that the man doesn’t notice as much as the woman does, but I don’t know that this was your intention. It’s not conveyed very clearly, though -she- is certainly aware of all those heightened feelings and physical reactions.
The most interesting thing to me, about attraction–especially physical attraction–is that people tend to notice different things, and that’s important to understanding their character and their motivations. She’s clearly someone who notices the details, but I don’t see as much of that from him. I get the sense that perhaps the only time he feels alive is when he’s in mortal danger. You allude to that at the end, but I’d like you to -show- more of it. She seems to notice things about herself, rather than the world around her–everything is rather -her-centric-. I’m not sure that’s something you intended either. He seems to not care very much about himself other than when, again, he’s in danger.
Anyway…these are just things to think about if you want to revise and edit the piece. What things are important to these characters? How can you convey that without coming outright and simply saying it? Showcasing what they notice and what they don’t–the details they hone in on and the ones they don’t–these are all great ways to help build those characters a bit more, which I guess is something I kind of wanted more of. Because I really do love your villains, and I kind of hope if she -does- try to kill him that it sets up this epic story arc where they end up love-hating one another and battling against one another while also trying to keep themselves alive from all the goody two shoes. That just sounds pretty legendary.
I’m already thinking poem ideas about this. laughing
Suffice to say, you peaked my interest, and I hope you’ll share more of them in the future. Also, thank you for sharing this. 
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Channyn is the friend to whom I alluded recently in another post. I have been “singing her praises” ever since I read her first story.
I knew she would pick up things I may miss (these days) and that is why I wanted her to take the lead with reviewing this one.
How much revising did you do, Nightsong? I would have had to do a lot of it, because the stories run so parallel to each other - that is, until we suspect the lady’s intention. You must have had to be careful not to release “too much” right at the start, and that is the sign of a good writer - knowing how much to “tell” and let the reader draw his/her own conclusions.
I couldn’t help but smile at the little verbal hints you provided, and I wondered: “What kind of ‘mood’ was Nightsong in, when this was written?”
If you wrote more about yourself elsewhere, I’m afraid It’s gone from my memory, but I have no idea of your age now, and I sense a reluctance to let too much of your “self” be known. That’s okay with me, but it helps to know something, so that I can say stuff like “This kid is an old soul”, and other assorted comments. So for now, I will just use “clever construction” as a compliment to your tale.
The most important segment of the story was that you allowed him to wonder what could happen, but I suspect in the end she had her way with him, and not just sexually. If I were directing the film, I think I would put Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like The Wolf”
here
All in all - ya done well my friend. More, please!
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First up! Thank you both for the feedback. Some of it was expected… punctuation especially. Even running a grammar checker and reading more I still can’t seem to lock down the rules of punctuation. I crack open a grammar book and feel like my brain is melting… I’ve even tried researching what the symbols, which is all language is, means to profession voice actors or readers. Best I can guess I just don’t use traditional punctuation in my speech patterns. Not that I’m stopping trying to learn.
I love that we all got somewhat different reads from it. Personally, I don’t consider that a failure, though something I will need to keep in mind.
Physical descriptions are, these days at least, something I usually add in after more revision. I was feeling my anxiety growing and didn’t want to not have the guts to post this… so I invoked an old argument… “If the story wasn’t seen until the author was satisfied, it’d never be seen.” and forced myself a bit.
In some ways there’s two of me at war over my stories, the one that wants to share, as much for the love of the craft as anything else, the stories, and the one that wants to horde them, as much for fear of rejection as for how seen it can make one feel.
That said…
That’s basically it. When I first wrote for these two, I was fascinated with idea of “instinctive predators”. IE: humans who saw their fellow humans as prey… this partially evolved out of the mistaken idea that the best profiler of a serial killer was another serial killer.
Yeah, that’s not enough to explain they are on a dying space station.
Yeah, this is partially tied into the setting they were originally created for, which has supernatural elements. He’s durable and dangerous as heck, basically imagine the stereotypical depiction of the male lion charging into battle and ending it quickly, only really feeling threatened by something equally dangerous.
She’s more like the lioness, she needs more self-control, more self-restraint because she can’t take the hits like he can, while also being the more dangerous of the two.
Thank you, both for the advice, and the encouragement. I can’t guarantee I’ll write more for these two, at least not as they are.
As someone who often measures how much I enjoy a story by my desire to write fanfiction in that setting I consider this high praise indeed! 
I recently finished reading a book called “How to lose the time war.” It is bloody brilliant. I can’t say for certain it was the spark, but I wouldn’t put it past my brain. Red and Blue were a delight to read about.
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Oh yeah, I forgot - you get a c- for redundancy in the following:
“Her hand slipped into his own, fingers lacing into his own”. See it? You don’t need the second own, unless you want to “own” your error? << heh! 
EDITED TO ADD: And I understand about what you explained and “several decades” is just fine with me.
When I learned my brain was growing too much protein (the dementia) I decided, "To hell with it - I’ll tell people. No secrets, an online journal later, and I’m not sorry I made that decision.
But then I haven’t been hurt, so who am I to talk? Just do what you feel is best and protect your self…
Okay. I’m stopping the narrative, because I want to describe something going on with me on a daily basis. Right now I am writing and I wanted to answer my corespondent’s question with my corespondent’s name - but I don’t know it anymore. Honestly, I have forgotten your name, Nightsong (I was going to write “Midnight Star” - really). I only found it by cheating and scrolling up. Just a short anecdote on why you sometimes see me informing you “I can hide my own Easter eggs.”
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Thank you, this is actually a writing technique/style I’ve been developing for a while. I like to write from a single perspective, I fell a bit flat with the Him perspective, but then go back and revisit the same scene, or at least part of it, from another perspective drawing attention to different elements. In this one I tried to make them each a fully contained story.
I was in a mood… that is true…
Old habits die hard, and I’ve seen enough people try to hurt others with personal knowledge to be gun-shy… That said, I’m several decades old.
Man making me think of some movies from my childhood…
Thank you.
I can’t guarantee I’ll write about these two, but I will keep writing.
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I’ve noticed I’ve picked up a habit of repeating myself in odd ways lately. I’m not sure what to think of it.
I used “that said” like three times in a post to someone else, a while back. Each sentence in sequence… at the moment I was writing the post it felt natural, but reading it after it felt odd.
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Could have used italics and bold on each that. Just an idea, I would have given you an A for cuteness, but a B on creativity.
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So, I got my first cheat day in Noom today. I am hailing this as a happy milestone, as it means that I have completed one week of Nooming–although technically I’ve finished two weeks and a half. Even so, I am savoring this cheat day and going to save it for as long as I can manage. And I just wanted to share that all with you!
I don’t want to go on too much about Noom, but I’m excited that it means I’ll likely be eating a million more pickles. >.> I am the pickle girl/woman/thing. (I really love pickles).
I’ve been enjoying Plundersstorm with Cer. Playing in duos has been a lot of fun, and he’s having fun playing Helldivers 2 with friends. All in all, this has been a good week.
All this writing talk is making me itch to do some more writing, too. Not sure when that will happen. Need to figure out who I want to write first…and where I want that all to go. Maybe we’ll catch up on Chani’s journal a bit. I’m also playing with a few other characters, too.
My Plunderstorm character has BLUE HAIR!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH! I wish they’d let us bring our PS characters over into WoW somehow. She’s my very own pirate girl! And she sucks at killing other pirates. I am bad at the PvP portion, that’s usually why I play healers. But PS doesn’t offer me that option; so, bad at killing I shall remain. grins
I’m so happy to be here with you guys. Thanks for sticking around. Love ya! 
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