If your character was an NPC

Moon Guard
1

If you could have an NPC of your character in WoW, where would they be, and what would they do? What would be their on-click quotes? I just remembered an old thread from before that got deleted when Blizz remade the forums, and decided I’d see if I could revive the topic, so here we go.

Doyce Saerans; most likely in Old Ironforge and running around partly on fire or building some kind of gnome-sized tonk, offering engineering training and selling various uncommon guns. Before night, he’d usually be in human form, and after night, he’d be in worgen form. He sort of spoke like Flynn Fairwind but with a bit of a dwarvish and goblin dialect.

Greetings
“Hm? Oh, aye, how’re you’ze?”
“Y’need sumthin’ blown up? Ye’ll find nae betta’.”
“Let’s make ah deal.”
“Aaaaalroight, let’s get down tae’ business.”
Worgen form only.
“Ah’m a mutt, aye. Y’really ain’t shocked on tha’?” snickering

Dismiss
“Don’ be a Doyce.”
“Doyce means ‘failure’, by th’way.”
“Weeeell, let’s get movin’. We’ve shipments tae’ make.”
“Keep this between us.”

Annoyed/Silly
Snickering sheepishly, “Hey, uh…y’do know ah’m married, roight?”
“Oy, stop tha’. Ah’m no cheat…not on Mia, anyway.”
“Ye’ kin sto’ tha’ now, ‘er ah’ll show ye’ how well me explosions woik.”
“Ah think we’re 'bout done 'ere.”
Humming the Mean Streets of Gadgetzan theme.

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2

San’dil was a Zandalari, and he’d probably be found fishing on the coasts of Durotar or in the Valley of Spirits in Orgrimmar praying. In the summer (Between May and September), he’d be found surfing on every eastern zone’s coast of Kalimdor. (imgur . com/a/XjQhq for how he looks ) He’ll sell various cosmetics; weapons that are surfboards and boots that look like sandals you’d wear at a beach.

Greetings
“‘ey, dere, mon! Ya’ needin’ sometin’ outta’ San’dil?”
“Whatcha’ 'ere for, richmon? Me be a poormon, joo know.”
“De waves be lookin’ pretteh nice ta’day.”

In the summer
“Haha! Now we kin surf. Ya’ here ta’ race against ol’ San’dil?”

Goodbye
“May all ya’ trash go ta’ Jani.”
“Joo come back 'ere, ye? Mebbe den San’dil’ll got de good catch.”
“Waves be watchin’, fluid foreva’.”
“De Horde be oua’ home. All de Zandalari got nowadays.”
“Heh, nothin’ like de’ crisp scent a’ de sea.”

Annoyed/Silly
“Ow! Be gentle, will ya’?”
“Jani ain’t likin’ dis, joo know. He prefer when San’dil be givin’ trash, not treated like eet.”
“Heeeyyyy, dere, mon. Me got a mate already, an’ me ain’t dat kinda’ troll who takes more den one.”
“If joo ain’t gonna buy someting, me gonna hit joo on de ‘ead wit’ a sandal.”

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3

Jimlok would be a Shaman trainer. Possibly in Shattrath.

Greetings
Greetings.
Did Jani lead you to me?
Did the Ancestors lead you to me?
Did the spirits guide you here?

Dismiss
May the ancestors watch over you.
May the spirits guide your path.
Don’t tell my wife I’m avoiding bed rest!

Annoyed/Silly
Why you poking me?
Do you want to know how I got these scars?
I have a gun and know how to use it.

Trainer Text
A true warrior knows that both wisdom and strength are key to success.

4

Kyra Sunscorn would be a minor Quest-giver in Telogrus who’d give a list of quests to test void lines for Kyra to establish portal locations for future invasions.

Greetings:
“We don’t fear the unknown.”
“The void grants wisdom, for those brave enough.”
“What knowledge do you seek?”
“Do not fear the Shadows.”
“The Ren’dorei will rise above all others.”

Goodbye / Farewells:
“Walk in shadows, friend.”
“May your blade strike true.”
“Do not fear the void’s blessings.”
“May our enemies fall to their fears.”

Pissed:
“Are you having fun?”
“The last thing you want to do is push the limits of a void elf’s patience.”
“Oh sure, when I research the void its all evil and bad. But its okay when the sin’dorei priests research shadow; its fine and dandy?”
“Believe me, going to the alliance wasn’t my first choice. Having to deal with you is one of the drawbacks.”
“For the love of all that is dark and corrupting, please… STOP!”

5

Hmm… I figure Krickt would sell hides, herbs, and usable meats. She’d have some unique jerky items. Possibly on rare occasions a unique engineering toy. What her wares would be would depend on her location or the day. Her location I figure would be all over the place in the wilderness, and in odd, hard to reach places. Perhaps in the middle of nowhere in Feralas, on a mountain in Pandaria only accessible by flying, or an uninhabited part of Tiragarde Sound, far away from any other NPCs or settlements. She’d have a few animal NPCs following her, also depending on the location.

Greetings:
“Hello there!”
“O-Oh! You startled me!”
"Didn’t expect to see anyone out here!”
“Take a look; the jerky’s free!”
“A pleasure meeting you!”

Goodbye / Farewells:
“Enjoy your (morning/evening!)”
“You be safe, now!"
“Come again! …If you can find me."

Pissed:
“Erm… What are you doing?”
“P-Please stop…”
“Could you stop petting me, please? I’m not an animal! Okay, well… Technically by some schools of thought you could say I am, but that’s beside the point!”
“Hmph.” screaming internally.
“I thought this place was uninhabited. A shame.”
“You do realize you’re surrounded by a bunch of very large, dangerous animals right now, right? And every single one of them is unhappy with you. Just a thought.”

6

Dloin would be a wandering alcohol merchant, walking along the road from Booty Bay to Stormwind City and back again. He’d have a few hard-to-find alcoholic beverages and would probably be dressed in a flashy outfit of some sort.

Greetings
“Well hullo thar!”
“Tha finest brews south o’ Khaz Modan!”
“Ye look like ye could use a drink, friend.”
“Aye, it’s truly me. Autographs be five gold!” Dloin laughs.

Dismiss
“Fair winds, friend.”
“Dun’t ferget ta partake in life’s little pleasures.”
“Tell 'em Captain Stonehammer sent ye!”
“Until next we meet, friend.”

Annoyed/Silly
His silly messages would be a series of random messages that could string together to form a unique mini-story, similar to the two NPCs in Stormwind who stop at the Pig and Whistle.

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7

Baiganx’s story background was always in the Alliance Air Navy (Whatever organization manages over the aerial ships) so he would likely be at the Stormwind docks supervising over a still under-construction ship that he would eventually gain command of. He would be slowly circling it, stopping at various points with a timer where he stops a distance away to look at the bow of the ship.

Greetings
“Citizen."
“Light’s greetings to you.”
“She will be a fine ship once she is finished. Agile as the breeze and as deadly as a storm.”
“The Horde may of taken my son from me, but one cannot let them take who we are inside."

Dismiss
“Dismissed citizen.”
“Be sure to enlist. I could use every ablebodied and brave crewmember I can get.”
“For the Alliance.”

Annoyed/Silly
“I…don’t care if you know my daughter. Say how you met her and we’ll be testing the armor plating on this ship with your face.”
“…that crazy dwarf Bombrik sent you, didn’t he?”
“I don’t care that his pig, Porkchop, has nightmareish visions of some warlock called Jimmy Dean.”
“You know, we could use an anchor for the ship. Are you volunteering?”

8

Super fun thread! I already kinda play Hazella like an NPC, and she mostly already does this stuff when in character, but:

Hazella Hollis would be a wandering merchant who sells mysterious magical wares out of a travelling caravan shop. She’d have an unpredictable rare spawn timer and could be found in a variety of locations. Sometimes stationary in Stormwind beside the Blue Recluse in Mage District, set up beside the Stockades, or pathing through the streets and she could also be found pathing a circuit on the roads from Elwynn to Westfall to Duskwood. Some items she’d sell would also be on secret spawn timers and would trigger special quests!

Greetings
“Hello, hello! Welcome to the Ephemeral Wagon!”
“All prices are negotiable!”
“This smells like a good haggle’s coming on!”
“Welcome to my wandering shop of wonders! Transcendent trinkets and eclectic enigmas!”
“In the mood for a little magic and mystery?”
When the moon is full
“Now I can show you something really special!”

Goodbye / Farewells
“Please come back again! Stock’s always changing…literally.”
“Apologies if your purchase turns out to be cursed!”
“Moon’s light guide your path.”
“May the stars shine their brightest upon ya.”

Annoyed/Silly
“Are you daft? Stop that!”
“Well didn’t this one’s mother drop 'em on their head?”
“My cat’s gonna scratch ya if you don’t cut that out!”
“They always do have a taste for the redheads, but I’m quite happily taken!”
“There’s a mighty big Kul Tiran 'round here that’s gonna clock ya a new one if you keep that up!”

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9

Lenara was a former Crusader now loyal to the Alliance who has interest in darker magics. She feels the Light failed the Crusade, and seeks less traditional alternatives. With BFA might be found as a lone quest giver in Nazmir. Like Captain Conrad, she also has an interest in the Blood Magic that the trolls use, and would likely have people gather various reagents, or any type of scrolls / literature that detail further use of the taboo magic.

Greetings:
“What is it?”
“This better be good.”
“Care to help me with something?”
“Interested in earning some coin?”

Dismiss:
“Leave, now.”
“Return when you have something.”
“Appreciate the help.”
“The Light failed me one too many times.”

Annoyed / Silly
“No, I am not being controlled by a Dreadlord, thanks.”
“The Crusade was destroyed. Want to share the same fate?”
“Want me to practice what I have learned on you? It might hurt a bit.”
“I’m just a Scarlet~, nobody loves me.~”

10

Taeana Palehorn: Probably a Mistweaving trainer on the Wandering Isle. Its where she would live if she ever left Kalimdor for good. She’d be in her current mog, and if I could grant all my wishes, have a baby tauren on her back in a basket (like in highmountain) and a child tauren NPC dashing around her. Her voice would be soft and motherly.

Greetings
Greetings, friend.
The Mists heal both body and spirit.
Come to learn of the Mists?
Would you like some tea?

Dismiss
May the Mists protect you.
Spirits walk with you.
Walk in peace, friend.

Annoyed/Silly
Green tea, with a hint of peacebloom, mmm!
Inner peace… Inner… peace…
Kolanatowa, get down from there!

11

Saria Sunblade would be found near the blighted remains of Lor’danel in Darkshore aiding the Horde to reinforce its grip of the territory.

Greetings
“Death incarnate stands before you.”
“Report.”
“I serve our Dark Lady.”

Goodbye
“Victory for our mistress.”
“Go, there is work to be done.”
“All will serve us.”

Annoyed
“My face is up here.”
“Stop that or I will feed you to my horse.”
“Keep your hands to yourself.”

Quest
Waste not, want not
"It seems our production of abominations has halted due to a shortage of materials. All the kaildorei remains we can find on the shore are ether burnt or too badly mutilated to be of any use. However the waters are full of intake corpses. Take my horse, she will safely take you across the waters to help harvest our new recruits. One way or another the kaildorei will serve us.

12

Kacey would run around Stormwind and sit on various railings while targetting various players and /hugging them.

Greetings
“HAI!”
“HELLO!”
“Hugs?”
“ALL THE HUGS?”
“More huggings!?”
“YAY FOR FRIENDSHIP!”

Goodbye / Farewells
“Awws, sees you later!”
“HUGS FOR LATER!”
“Has a nice day!”
“Goodbyes friend!”

Annoyed/Silly
“HEY! BAD!”
“I will sends you to the bad corner!”
“DO NOT TEMPT THE KACEY!”
“Rawrs very loudly”
“That’s it, I’m sending you to the corner”
“BLACKLISTED FROM HUGS FOR AN ENTIRE DAY!”

13

Aelliciah would be found along several areas as flavor NPC, and a quest.

  • At Kul Tiras, speaking to a kul tiran man named Ovrik Somberwave.
  • At Stormwind’s docks, preparing for another trip.
  • At the Battle for Dazar’alor.

Greetings:
“What can I help you with?”
“We’ve lost too many to this war.”
“My blade is at the ready.”
“I will defend those I love, with my life.”
“I am your sword, and your shield.”

Goodbye / Farewells
“For the Alliance.”
“The Horde will pay for what they’ve done.”
“I will honor my husband’s memory.”
“Take care, and be safe.”
“One day, this will all end.”

Pissed
“You know, I used to be a pie mistress back in Stormwind… those were simpler days…”
“I enlisted in this war to stop all this bloodshed, but yet seems like I only add to it.”
“But listen to me ramble… you’ve likely got better things to do.”
“Okay… I’m done… You can stop poking me.”
“You better stop before you find a sword in a very unpleasant place.”

In Kul Tiras (Interaction dialogue)
“I never figured that my biological family had kul tiran roots until I found some old records. But now I’m slowly getting back the family I thought I lost… And I’ve got much history to explore in Kul Tiras, now more than ever.”

In Stormwind
“Hey there, I’m just preparing to take another trip. I really thought about opening up the pie shop again… but I just can’t get in the mood. Maybe another day.”

In the Battle for Dazar’alor (Alliance side will help clear a group of Horde mobs with her and a small squad holding them off.)
“Thank you, champions. we had underestimated just how dangeorus the Zandalari can truly be even off their boats. Follow the docks north and be careful. A general of the Horde awaits.”

(Horde attack the group, forcing a retreat after three soldiers die)
“We- we’ve lost too many! The Horde are coming to take back the city! Retreat!”

14

William would be a masked NPC appearing as a rare event amidst the various Alliance and neutral inns of Azeroth, plucking the strings of his harp/bow hybrid.

Greetings:
“Ishnu’alah.”
“The night is young.”
“How can I help you?”
“That’s ‘Lord’ William Oakleaf… But out here? William will do just fine.”
“I have time to spare.”
“Immerse yourself in the music of the night.”

Goodbye/Farewell
“Enshu fallah na.”
“Your company was most enjoyable.”
“Indeed, it is late…”
“Darkest Nights, Brightest Stars.”
“My beloved calls…”
“May our paths cross again.”

Pissed/Annoyed
“…You know in most societies it’s considered rude to be in one’s personal space?”
“Cease your touching, please.”
“Yes, yes! I’m Half-Kaldorei! Now can you stop poking me?”
“These fangs are real… And they are unpleasantly sharp.” A snapping sound can be heard
“I take it that your desire for attention is a clear indication that nobody loves you?”
“Seriously. Poking me only provokes the fire-breathing dragon lurking in the shadows behind me. She is extremely possessive and extremely violent. Were I you, I’d apologise with a gift of pillows and blankets… Don’t ask why.”

15

Ao Elenstelle’s location would vary based on the Warfront cycle, but would also be spawned in both Dalaran’s Ledgerdmain Lounge as well as Coldarra as a neutral rare elite Azure Drake ala the Frostbitten achievement rares.

In Dalaran, she’d be leaning up against a wall reading a book with the gossip text <The gnome doesn’t seem to take notice of you.>

In Coldarra, she wouldn’t really say anything as she’s just a rare mob that you can kill (non canonical though), but would use Fel instead of Arcane in the fight.

Now, when the Warfront is active, she would spawn in the Arathi overworld, with several Horde soldiers dead around her burning in Felfire. She would have the gossip text “This war pains me, but we do what must be done. Arathi cannot be left uncontested.”

When the Warfront is in Alliance control, she spawns roaming the Mage Quarter of Stormwind, with the gossip text “Arathi is under Alliance control, and I am on leave from the battlefield. Need you bother me?”.

When the Horde control Arathi, she spawns near the turn-ins at Boralus with the gossip text “We are preparing for another push into Arathi…are you ready %player?”.

Outside of the Coldarra and Warfront encounters, she serves as an Enchanting trainer.

Greetings
“Oh. Hello, I did not see you.”
“May I offer my assistance?”
“Do you need something?”
“I deal in magical artifacts, do you have something for me?”
“My prices are fair, my services a passion…not a job.”
“With enough Arcane Dust, I can make something extraordinary.”
Goodbye / Farewells

"Be safe, these are dangerous times we live in.
“Be careful, there are far more dangerous things than the Horde.”
“The Kirin Tor may not take a side…I however, choose my own path.”
“We do what we must.”
“I hope I was able to help.”
“If you find something new, I would like to see it.”

Pissed
“Look, but do not touch.”
“I said ‘look, but do not touch’.”
“Are you dense? Or are you just provoking me?”
“What part of ‘do not touch’ do you fail understand?”
“The Kirin Tor may forbid me from using the dark arts publicly…”
“But you are an exception.”

16

Morwyn would be a good-natured but slightly shady individual, selling a rotating list of alcohol from all over Azeroth. She’d spawn in various seedy places (à la Hook Point or the Underbelly) as a vendor, and her goods would depend on where she was located.

Greetings
“Oi, what you got there for me?”
“Anyone follow you?”
“Best prices in these parts. Or any parts.”
“Your gold ain’t wasted here.”

Dismiss
“Go on with ya, then.”
“Always a pleasure.”
“Tell your friends! Just not too many friends…”
“Another time, another place.”

Annoyed/Silly
“Sod off.”
“Stop wasting my time.”
“Don’t act like you ain’t impressed.”

18

I’m already in game, but I’m more of the silent type.

19

Oth is a high elf - quite taller than the standard high elf model, more like being as tall as a worgen, and probably would be found in either the Old Town of Stormwind, Booty Bay, or Gadgetzan, leaning against a wall and flipping a silver coin. Depending on the time of day, he might be selling various drinks you find in Kul Tiras for far cheaper, strawberries that act as giant growth potions, and a toy that has a cigarette hang from your character’s lip.

Greetings
First time clicking: “I’d prefer you not touch me.”
“Some of the best brew in Kul Tiras, away from it.”
“Oh, great. You again.”
“Buy something; be it brew or a bodyguard.”

Farewell
“Thank Belore, leave.”
“Don’t return if you’re as broke as I am.”
“Don’t ask about the strawberries.”
“The Silver Covenant will rise above the Ren’dorei.”

Annoyed
“The Don would never have allowed this poking.”
“You wanna grow up quick? Drink something from the Kabal.”
“Look, just because I act as a bodyguard doesn’t mean I like you. Hell, I’ve guarded plenty of people I much rather have died instead of being bound to take the bullet that should kill them for them. Silver speaks louder, though.”
“Okay, go away now. I’ve a strict no-romantic or touchy policy in my contract.”
“…What do you mean there’s a line drawn through it and doesn’t apply?”

20

Daelin Barrow would be situated in the catacombs under the Slaughtered Lamb. He would periodically move from one end of the hall to other.

Greetings
“Welcome.”
“Something I should know?”
“How may I assist?”
“Are you lost?”

Dismiss
“Mind the dust.”
“Leave everything how you found it.”
“You may remain for a time.”
“Beware the Fel… and those who do not.”

Annoyed/Silly
“Hands off the hat.”
“You overstay your welcome.”
“I don’t get payed to put up with this.”
“Actually… I don’t get payed at all.”

Reaction: Demon Hunter & Paladin
“Tread carefully in these halls, outsider.”

21

Danath Morsin would probably be found standing with the Paladin Trainers in the Cathedral of Light.

Greetings
“King’s honor.”
“Greetings!”
“Hello.”
“How can I help you?”
“Sir Danath the Valiant, at your service.”

Dismiss
“Light bless.”
“May the Holy Light see you through these trying times.”
“See you soon.”
“Stay safe!”

Annoyed/Silly
“Can you not?”
“I’ve fought in every war since Northrend, your poking is the least bothersome thing I’ve experienced.”
“Do you actually need something or are you wasting my time?”
“Keep poking me, I’ll show you my avenging wrath.”