How do I Gnomeproof my Hut?

just pay them Gnome-ind

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Yo dawg, we heard you like spikes, so we put some spikes on your spikes, so you can impale people while you… uh… impale… um… other people… too?

that’s what Xzibit says when he comes to pimp your spikes.
he goes around to peoples huts and bedazzles their spikes, and installs gaming systems at the bottom of the pits.

Your an Orc. Have you Spikes and stuff. So it should work but you gotta think of something hard if you encounter Human Paladin Males like me coming at your doorstep.