Help me Understand My Guild Drama Story

WoW Classic WoW Classic General Discussion
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I’m trying to fully understand the psychology of my recent guild drama. I joined a guild at the beginning of AQ after being with another guild since the launch of classic. I still had good relations with my original guild, but I wanted to try a more hardcore guild, and I was accepted to one of the guilds on the server.

Nax opened today and I received a message from my guild that I would be benched the first raid night, but there the next time and next week. However, this didn’t set well with me. Prior to tonight, they said the roster would be primarily based on past attendance, being able to be there both nights, and bringing consumables with you past raids. I had perfect attendance and always brought consumables, so it was unclear why I hadn’t been chosen.

When I asked the GM about it, he simply said to me that everyone would eventually have to sit. To be frank, I was devastated because I was very excited for the first night of Nax. I told the GM that if I couldn’t raid that It seemed best for me to return to my previous guild who had already told me they would be happy to have me back for Naxx. GM said “sounds good”

What surprised me, however, is after returning to my old guild, they contacted the GM to tell him and other guild members how horrible I was. They basically said things that were untrue, and it frankly didn’t have any impact because they were talking to people who actually knew me better than they did.

Here’s what I’m trying to wrap my head around:

-If they benched me because they didn’t like how I was doing, why didn’t they say that or even tell me at any time in the previous few months? I never received any feedback the entire time I was with them. At one point, that GM even said he was happy with how I had gelled with the guild.

-If they really didn’t care that I left because they saw me as underperforming, why did they feel the need to then trash talk about me? I think to myself “well, you benched me, and apparently dislike me, so why do you care where I now go?”

Ultimately, I assume they must have been upset I left and took out their frustration by trash talking me to my current guild, but it just seems weird that they were still only going to bench me for one night despite now saying all these negative things about me. Like, if you are going to bench me because you think I’m a bad player, say so, rather than saying you are just rotating the roster, and then trash talking me after I left.

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People are trash.

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Who knows man, some people are just super toxic ***holes for no apparent reason. My experience with Classic up to now kinda reminded me why I’ve always been pretty much guildless throughout my time playing the game. The huge majority of guilds fall apart at some point, just like in real life, people who you think are your friends really aren’t, you’ll maybe end up leaving with A friend or two, you’re almost always getting screwed with loot in some fassion.

I always used to just pug raids, but figured that wouldn’t be possible in classic because I do recall how important the community aspect was. However, I’ve come to realize that things in Classic aren’t like they were back in the day because we’re coming to this game with many years of experience and because of that, some of the basic structure of what became WoW is present in legacy. But, I really don’t have a problem with that because I like having freedom and being in a guild always seems to be a means to an end with grudges, sadness, and drama that aren’t worth. I’m a lone wolf in video games for the same reason I am in real life, people = ****.

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One person wrote to me saying I should have spoken to the class leader, and the other officers and him could have discussed it with the GM.

But that just feels strange to me, I mean, isn’t it the GM who makes these kind of decisions? It feels like running to mom cause ur upset with Dad.

Ultimately, it also leaves me confused: was I liked or disliked? Considering they decided to trash talk about me, I assume disliked, but it also seems contradictory to how they actually treated me while I was in the guild.

So I think, perhaps they did actually like me, but when I left, they decided the best thing to do was make up things about me and tell them to my present guild.

The only analogy I can come up with is dating someone, breaking up, and then that person calls your new partner to tell them how horrible they are. I wonder if that says more about you or the ex.

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Would need to see logs of your performance for a clear answer.

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Well, is it relevant?

Like, lets assume they are bad. Then they could have said they are benching me for underperforming. Instead, they said everyone will sit. They even said it was just for one night.

So, when I decide to leave, why is it only then they begin trashtalking? Saying things that they basically never said to me previously.

I mean, they tell my present gm im a horrible player, yet while with them, they never said this and reassure me that im only sitting for one night.

Are they cowards or just pety?

At first, I was worried I was maybe overreacting, but then my guildies tell me they are getting all these whispers.

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If the story checks out, all involved parties were being petty.

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Hard to tell someone they are bad.

Even harder to accept it.

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Fair enough, except the only feedback I ever got is that they were happy with me. One of the things they also told my guild is that I dont go after world buffs, which isnt entirely true, but it seems easy enough to say ‘you need to get world buffs’

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No, you wouldn’t.

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It is not like going to mom because you’re upset with dad.

It’s more like a business and the CEO has much more important things to do than waste time on one person; that’s what officers are for.

You speak to the officers because theyre the Senior VP staff, and the CEO has the responsibility to listen to their trusted advice, and they have clout, and you’re not going to get anywhere going right to the top. That’s not how big organisations operate.

The guys between you and the GM are a filter, a buffer, a barrier, a lot of things that help facilitate decision-making for the guild, share responsibility around so nobody is overburdened, and keep things running smoothly, ideally.

So yeah, you would have benefitted far more taking the time to chat with the officers and seeing what support you would get, including an opportunity to appeal the benching decision and bring a reasonable argument regarding you being a worthwhile investment for the guild.

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Here’s what happened. The promise they made to you about basing spots off past performance was an offhand answer they gave because it sounded fair and it helped them hide the fact they hadn’t really been thinking about it. When Naxx dropped they didn’t really look at past attendance. Thet probably didn’t even have a record of it. They just got together and had a short meeting where they all picked the people they liked best and that didn’t include you.

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I can buy that.

What confuses me, I guess, is then the decision after I leave to find out what guild I joined and begin trash talking to them about me. Like, they couldn’t just dislike me, they had to have everyone dislike me?

They probably didn’t realize I had returned to the guild I had been with since the launch of classic, and they pretty much told them that they knew me better than they did because they had been with me longer and were happy to have me back.

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I think it’s most likely that your guild simply had too many raiders. They fluffed their ranks to make sure they had enough for Naxx, and then when the time came, they made the decision to bench some players on rotation. My guild is doing pretty much the exact same thing, although they’ve been really transparent about it all along. Then you decide to leave because you aren’t happy with that decision, which immediately angers them, so then they try and smear you, like the good mature people they are. I think it’s hilarious that not getting world buffs is the thing they smear you with though. It’s so funny how mandatory people have made these stupid buffs. I guess you did join what you claimed was a hardcore guild though.

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Its 100% relevant, it sounds like you are terrible, and they are just too afraid to tell you. Its IS a jerk move on their part, but im willing to bet the person they brought is in their eyes better than you. No guild is gonna bench a high preforming member day one new content.

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https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/t/anathema-alliance-fresh-re-roll-new-starlight/748665

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It sounds like you got butt hurt and left for no good reason. Many guilds with multiple raid teams only take 1 raid into progression fights. Meaning lots of people sit for. The first week or two. You said you’ve been in the guild only for AQ phase, so just a couple months. There’s likely people that have been in the guild since day 1 so of course their raid attendance for an entire year out weighed yours for 2-3 months. The better play for you likely would have been to sit the bench for a week and raid Naxx next week. Or even just go pug it with your old guild or any other. Most servers have people looking to pug it.

As to your now former guild messaging your previously former, now current guild, to trash talk you… that’s petty and I would ignore it.

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They asked you to be a team player, you said nah, Im out and they were like okay then.

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Any guild leadership that takes itself that serious huffs its own farts. It’s a game, not a company, and nobody is that important. Im saying this as someone who led thousands of people in a medium size Alliance in EvE for years. There was never a time I’d blow someone off who wanted to ask me questions about direction just because I was the Alliance head.

@OP, if you got sat it meant your guild had more people than slots available. It happens. Guilds overrecruit to make sure they can field a full 40 and then some(almost always dps) end up sitting on rotation because you can’t really ever have too many healers for pushing new(to you) content, and guilds don’t overrecruit tanks. If you can’t handle that, then welcome to raiding I guess. Its 100% normal.

As for the trash talking, when you acted out by leaving for being sat once, they did the same thing because the avg community member in this game is developmentally stuck in 2005.

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They benched you because they had more than 40 raiders for the night. Sucks but hey that’s raiding.

You made it worse by complaining, then gquitting.

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