[Goblin H-RP] <Flashbang Exports> Boomtastic!

Moon Guard
516

Hey, hey, Moonguard!

Guess who’s back? Dats right, bub, it’s your ole pal Eddy P. and boy do we have some good news for you.

Flashbang Exports is back in bidness! As you may have read from the stolen memo posted above, we have a new Boss:

Kiwi!

Yeah, just Kiwi. No last name. Who needs a last name, anyways? Waste of type. She’s got a crown, too. And before anyone says she has big shoes to fill, let me nip dat in the bud. She don’t wear shoes, see? Issue dealt with before it ever happened. Which makes her the perfect boss! Anticipation, baby. Problems solved before they ever become problems, and with that sorta insight, profits gonna roll in like a Tanarisian duststorm.

Anyways…

As the stolen memo stated, we’ve got a guild meetin comin up in a few weeks. Which means positions are open for new Gobs ta join! They always were, but it’s hard to recruit when the lights are out and dust covers the hallways. AND, no pineapple pizza in the fridge. Dat was the worst!

All over now. Lights, sweeping, action! Bombs are rolling off the line, even delivered a bunch of crates to the Crossroads just this past weekend! The Rifter’s changing the way Azeroth does funerals. You can read all about it here, in the Privateer Press [RP] Privateer Press - Monthly (RP Newspaper) - #14 by Persefaní-moon-guard

Schemes galore, and we’re just getting started. Got a good one? Bring your Gob to Flashbang and make your dreams a reality.

So, if ya feel like living the Gob life, drop by the newly cleaned corporate offices and speak to a recruiter. And when ya do, tell em your ole pal Eddy P. sentcha. I’ll be glad ya did.

4 Likes
517

Hey, hey, Moonguard!

Tonight’s the night! That moment all you Gobs have been waiting for. No, not a fountain of gold that never runs dry. That would ruin the market. Stuff would be worthless. Sheesh.

GUILD MEETING NIGHT IN FUSELIGHT!

That’s right, Gob fans. It’s back with a boom, complete with new management and leadership, all situated under one of those pink, drink umbrellas - bigasized to make room for everyone! Well, every Goblin that is. Rest a yous guys are outta luck. shrugs Sorry

We’ll be discussing the new directions we’re taking, the new contracts we’ve signed, including a fabulous new line of Goblin interior design products Guar-un-teed to add class ta any joint.

stares at Weed Elf Not THOSE joints.

Anyways…

Come out to Fuselight, be there by 7pm ta get that prime viewing spot. Watch our fabulous new crown-wearing, bootless Boss Kiwi do her thing! We’ve got all all kinds of boomtastic stuff going down, maybe even an appearance of the mythical Pink Mammoth.

You know it’s a good time when one of those shows up. sage nod

((OOC: 7pm realm time - Flashbang Exports Guild meeting in Fuselight, inside the domed building with the big telescope on the roof. All are welcome, but only Goblins may join the guild. ))

4 Likes
520

The memo here has been removed, as stated in the next post below. “45%.”

2 Likes
521

Two hours later, the memo Gavoz left was carefully peeled off of the first memo, as to not tear it, albeit an appended note was thumb-tacked to a corner of a poster board.

“45%.”

523

Some time later, it is noted the “45%” has been scribbled over in purple crayon and now reads “5%”.

525

Guys and gals!

Flashbang Exports is starting up its NORMAL raid team again to head back into Sanctum of Domination. The only thing is, there’s nothing NORMAL about us!

Our all-goblin team is more about fun than progression. Sure, we get stuck on bosses from time to time, but mostly we just chip away at a leisurely pace, taking the time for a few bad jokes and floppy fish soccer.

What are we in need of?

=HEALERS!!=

Goblin resto shaman, holy priests, and disc priests, we need you!

Don’t care if you’re terrible at your rotation or badly geared, or even if you stand in fire from time to time. The important thing is: you have to be a goblin. That’s right, green and short is best.

We explain fights and don’t call people out. But you do have to be able to use voice chat on discord, which can be found here:
https://discord.gg/hDy8Ktg

Raid time:
Fridays 9pm-11pm CST
Starting 14 Jan 2022

See you there, goblin champions!

finger guns

3 Likes
526

An amazing guild with amazing people!

3 Likes
527

Thank you for your support, peach-colored goblin.

3 Likes
528

Flashbang Exports is the only business I trust for my explosives and work on my new Rocket. Never trust the BAM!azon tools.

5 Likes
529

Just wondering do I really need to rp to join this guild?

I have no problems making a goblin alt and joining in guild stuff but i am sorry not into rp.

530

While RP has become more of the guild’s focus under Kiwi as as the GM, it is by no means essential. We also do dungeons, raids, and a little PvP.

The only requirement is that you are a goblin.

Bear in mind also that Flashbang Exports is a family friendly guild so we discourage swearing in guild chat and discord and any content that is NSFW.

2 Likes
531

Bump for an amazing guild! :sparkles:

2 Likes
532

Good folks here, and good guild :slight_smile:

2 Likes
533

Givin’ a little bump, and givin’ some thanks for the love!

We do a little bit of everything! We’ve got dungeons, raid, and PVP along with RP. We also place a lot of emphasis on people doing whatever makes them happy, whether it is pushing the latest, or picking flowers in some far-flung corner of Azeroth. We also encourage learning and trying new things. There’s no bar we expect people to be at. We’re a close knit, very chill, and very casual group that feels like family.

As Herc mentioned, while Flashbang has boosted their RP over the last few months, RP is not a requirement. There are no obligations for any of our activities other than being a Gobbo, keep it family friendlyish, and to maybe say hi once in a while!

If the Gobbo life intrigues you, if a chill oasis is music to your ears, if you’re looking for a place to learn and try new things without pressure, feel free to drop me or any of our fine Gobbos a line to learn more about us! :slight_smile:

3 Likes
534

Mornin’ (or evenin’, or… DAY. We’ll leave it at Good Day!)

Callin’ all unemployed Gobbos! Bored outta yer skulls? Outta moolah? Come be profitably exploited by Flashbang Exports where we gotta deal for YOU!! We’ll even throw in a generous 10 minute unpaid lunch break as a sign-on bonus!!

(OOC): The doors are always open to folks wanting to check out the Gob life, or folks that need a home for their current Gobbos! We do a little bit of everything, though it’s a little slow with the end of expac slump. Now’s a great time to come on in, get settled, learn the ropes, and make yaself at home so that we’re ready to meet the new expac with a BANG!

Currently looking for RPers though PVE and PVP folks will also be very welcomed by our teams! We approach both casually, with more emphasis on having fun than anything else.

Have a great day and remember Goblin products are built to Blast!!

3 Likes
535

Can confirm this is true. I’ve run into several members of this guild and they’re always friendly.

4 Likes
537

(Eddy Potlatch alt here)

Hey, hey Moonguard! Wassup?

Right, you were expectin your ole pal Eddy P. ta wax poetic about the fabulous Flashbang Exports guild meetin’ coming up, weren’tcha? Well, forget about it. Eddy’s hangin’ out on easy street, floatin’ round his pool on a flamingo floatie, see? He ain’t got time for writin’ right now. There’s pineapple cocktails ta drink.

Who am I? His attorney, dats who. Brigit Goldscrew. The FAMOUS Brigit Goldscrew you probably read about in the Privateer, winning cases by the vault-load, especially against dat Gnome Toggle Cogglesmith of WorldTREE. And, most recently, the class action lawsuit against the makers of transportation devices we know as hearthstones, of which Flashbang’s very own Jasper Powerblast is the lead plantiff.

In fact, if YOU have experienced HEARTHSTONE INJURY, or know someone who has, please contact me, Brigit Goldscrew, at the kind and caring law firm of Dazzeled & Goldscrew to receive the compensation you justly deserve! Don’t wait, call now!

Anyways. Where was I? Oh, yeah.

Flashbang Export’s fabulous guild meeting. It’s this SATURDAY, folks. May 14th in FUSELIGHT at 9pm SHARP. Now, as you all know, Flashbang Exports only allows GOBLINS to be members. And if you’re a Gob without a home, or wanna change homes, welcome to the Gob life. But wait, if you ain’t a Goblin and still wanna be part of the Boomtastic goodness, we gotcha covered. We have other associations you can join, which you can learn about at the meeting.

And, while you are there, if you, or someone you know, has experienced HEARTHSTONE INJURY, yours truly will be on site to show you compassion, as well as how to maximize your compensation for this tragic and needless trauma.

Remember: May 14th - FUSELIGHT - 9pm SHARP (realm time).

See youz guys there.

2 Likes
538

Fun bunch’o Gobbos 'ere :slight_smile:

3 Likes
539

Hey, hey, Moonguard! Guess who’s back? Your ole pal, Eddy P, dat’s who! And boy do I have a deal for you.

Well, I got lotsa deals, actually. Especially if ya like bombs. But the newest one just for summer is called NeighborGUARD Lawncher Turf. Dats right, pal. Wanna lawn without the hassle of both mowin and pesky, unwanted guests? WE gotcha covered. HOWEVER. You gotta read the Wednesday edition of the Privateer ta getcha special deal, see?

Anyways.

What’s even bettah than a great deal? The Flashbang Exports GUILD MEETING!!!

This SUNDAY at 8:00 - 9:30pm Realm Time, the Boss Queen’s having her monthly bash out in Fuselight and all yous unguilded Gobs are invited. Actually, ANY Gob’s invited, cause once you see how great we are, you’ll jump ship and join in the Boomtastic greatness. Not that we’re pillaging any other guilds, but when it comes to an all-Gob outfit, it don’t get any bettah than Flashbang’s explosive goodness.

You want PVE, got it. Want some beat-down PVP? Got dat too! How about wheelin an dealin like real RP Gobs? Dats what we do best.

Just saunter in to the big building with the spyin scope on top, find a crate, and have a Goblin-good time. You’ll be invited to introduce yaself, and even have the opportunity to see who tosses out the biggest bribe to be named Employee of the Month! Five thousand smackaroos for the winnah, pal. PLUS a half-day PAID vacation. Whatadeal!

And hey, when you do show up, be sure ta tell em your ole pal Eddy P. sentcha. I’ll be glad ya did.

GOB-ALERT!!!: Guild meeting day was CHANGED from Saturday to Sunday.

4 Likes
540

Who would I go to to ask about an invite? I sadly don’t think I can make it saturday. :frowning:

2 Likes