[Goblin H-RP] <Flashbang Exports> Boomtastic!

Moon Guard
475

Hey, hey, Gob fans. It’s your ole pal, Eddy P, the newly promoted Supervisor of sales and marketing at Flashbang Exports! (Glad to know the bribe worked.)

As the big boss posted above, tonight’s the big night. It’s Gnome stomping time in the badlands! looks down at the pre-typed paper prepared by one of the newly promoted managers

Oh, wait. Hehehe. Sorry about that. Coffindodger’s new on the job. Must have made a mistake. clears voice and inflates the wacky waving-arm noodle man seen at all the best used trike lots in Azeroth

It’s GUILD MEETING NIGHT in the Badlands, and if you’re a Goblin looking for a fabulous new home, where gold fills like your bag like sparkles from a Paladin’s pony, then come on down and see us. We’ll be happy to welcome you through the golden doors of Goblindom into the Boomtastic goodness that’s Flashbang Exports.

And when you sign the roster, be sure an tell em Eddy P. sent ya. I’ll be glad ya did.

3 Likes
476

Hey there guys!

Thanks everyone that has been supporting our all-goblin guild. We had very humble beginnings, expecting to be very small and cosy. But over time, we’ve had the pleasure of attracting a bunch of goblins from near and far. Now we’re more like a fully fledged enterprise! Just tonight at the Orgrimmar Market and Guild Expo (hosted by Mirchea), we recruited 4 new goblins! One was from Alliance side, two were references from other members, and one was a insect trainer we picked up wandering around in Orgrimmar!

Here’s a picture of us rocking out amongst the festivities:
https://i.imgur.com/4mEv80s.png

After the RP event, we got together our special forces unit and tackled normal Castle Nathria. We only raid once a week for 2 hours, but we’ve already managed to down two bosses since starting last week! Shriekwing and Huntsman Altimor. Here’s a screenshot of that as well.
https://i.imgur.com/Mwq1hfB.png

Tomorrow we look forward to mythic dungeons and also the Flashbang Tavern night, where you can hang out and drink booze, or stir up trouble with the rest of the customers!

If you would like a piece of this awesome action, remember that we only hire goblins! But there is no application process, we pretty much take any gobbo as long as they’re not too elite (we’re pretty laid back and casual, so hardcore people won’t fit in.) All you have to do is request an invite in Guild Finder or on our discord, here: https://discord.gg/hDy8Ktg

Join Flashbang Exports and start living the goblife!

1 Like
477

Hey, hey, Moonguard. It’s your ole pal Eddy P. again, and boy do I have some exciting news for you.

No, we’re not giving away free gold. That would be a world-breaking event to rival even Deathwing’s appearance. Nuh uh, this is better. WAY BETTER!

Int’risted? Gotcha attention? Hehehe. Good. motions for you to move closer

You may recall on another forum thread I MAY have mentioned a resort in Ardenweald? glances around and lowers his voice It’s happening, pal! We’re gonna build the biggest and greatest resort the world, and underworld, has ever seen. Gallywix’s pleasure palace? flicks his wrist and rolls his eyes Forgetaboutit. Peanuts. Small potatoes. A blip on a Goblin map.

Nah, pal. This’ll be da stuff of legends. Now, we’re still in the planning stages, and of course something on this scale needs investahs. And dats where you come in. To launch the official announcement, we’re gonna have a groundbreaking party right in the heart of the resort. AND, for those dat wanna piece of the action, we’ll have sales advisors on site to handle the purchase of shares. Can’t be easier than that, huh? And free beverages. nods knowingly

So, stay tuned to Flashbang Exports for more details, including the the location, date, and time of this boomtastic good time. If you’ve been to a Flashbang event, then you know you’ll have the time of your life and afterlife. Guar-un-teed.

opens his arms wide and grins Would your ole pal steer ya wrong? Didn’t think so.

STAY TUNED!

OOC: Basically a BBQ & pool party, where all are invited to enjoy and join in. Turning the tranquil pools of Tirna Vaal into, well, a Goblin zone of goodness and fun.

4 Likes
478

Flashbang Exports is proud to announce we’ve just completed our first under-time mythic keystone with an all-goblin, all-guild team! (Consider that goblins are only 6% of the server population and you’ll start to understand how tricky that is!) Sure it was only a Necrotic Wake M2, but we stood a little taller in our boots today!

We do things at our own pace, in a style that we call goblin swagger. Sure, it’s not world-first, but it is a heap of FUN and we have plenty of time to smell the roses (and learn mechanics) along the way.

We also run goblin-themed RP events! Check out our goblin lore expedition coming up this weekend in the link below.

If you’d like to join our fabulous, laid back but very productive merchant guild, just make sure you’re a goblin and either find us on Guild Finder (in game) or join our discord: https://discord.gg/hDy8Ktg

https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/t/h-rp-goblin-lore-expeditions/13799/54

2 Likes
479

Perhaps a world first all Goblin team? Surely that should count for somethin, boss

2 Likes
480

Pssst. I think we’re the only ones getting excited, Eddy. But that’s okay. This jig needs a shake up!

1 Like
481

Hey, hey, Guardians of the Moon!

It’s your ole pal Eddy P here, once again expounding on the Boomtastic good vibes going on at Flashbang Exports. glances at the long-haired Elf standing in the corner Yeah, not those kinda vibes. Head ovah to the Lion’s Pride for that, pal.

Ahem. clears voice

I’m talkin bout fun, cause it’s the most wonderful time of the month: GUILD MEETING week at Flashbang Exports! That’s right, Gob fans. We’ve put together a show you don’t wanna miss. Maw Walkan’s words of wisdom, for instance. Who doesn’t need a bit of dat, right? And get this: it’s fff… ffff… free. shudders and licks his lips

Boss Fly’s gonna inspire us. Kapu, Priest of Profit will bless us with never ending good fortune, and then we’ll share all doze wonderful schemes we’ve been cookin up since the last get together. How can we forget those hate mail exploding sheep? Big sellahs this time of year. And then there is the event of the night: Employee of the Month and yours truly has been nominated! Hehehehe. Bribes work. Go fig-yah.

Anyways.

If your Gob needs a home, a new home, or even a cheap, made in Gnomeregan door prize, come out to Fuselight in the Badlands and look for the ginormous spy glass stickin out the top of a building. Dats where we’ll be. THIS Saturday, 9-10:30pm realm time. Don’t be late. Oh. Da word on the street is, there’ll be cake, maybe even a few ffff…ffff…free tee shirts.

glances at the leering elf No, not wet tee-shirt contests, pal. ACTUAL shirts. Yeah, I know. Hard to believe.

AND, if you join our Boomtastic goodness, Flywheel has guaranteed a fabulous free gift. She has, honest. So we’ll see yous guys there, and when you arrive, tell em Eddy P sentcha. I’ll be glad ya did.

3 Likes
482

Even b0ngo cat approves of Flashbang Exports. JUST LOOK AT THIS BUTTON.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itP0zeePN34

1 Like
483

OMG PLEASE BE GNOME PLUSHIES
I will send Riley Kwixit over there so fast.

edit because of contractual obligations to state that is the FABULOUS Kwixit

1 Like
484

Eddy Potlatch has won the Employee of the Month award! His prize was 5,000g and a Muar magic pet. The perks of doing a great job on the Sales and Marketing team!

In other news, Flashbang Exports is experiencing a TANK SHORTAGE!! Please help us. We are looking for goblin warriors and death knights to be put to immediate use for tanking dungeons, mythics, and normal raids. Suitable for people who are new to tanking, new to Shadowlands tanking, or just need more gear! We can show you the ropes and help you gear up, all with a fantastic, supportive team.

If you have a spare warrior or death knight sitting around, collecting dust, consider giving them a race or faction change and sign up with Moon Guard’s premiere all-goblin guild! We are even quite likely to be the largest goblin-exclusive guild across all WoW servers! If you want to be part of a truly amazing and unique group, here is your opportunity!

Either find us on Guild Finder in game, sign up on our discord (link below) or message discord: Flywheel#4087 if you want the personal treatment!
https://discord.gg/hDy8Ktg

1 Like
485

This is Hercula Hagglegood, coming at ya LIVE from the stadium of the Kezan Footbomb Association!

Wait…wait hold it right there folks. We interrupt this important game for a commercial break, sponsored by your favorite explosives and fireworks merchant company - Flashbang Exports! They pay us good, so we gotta give 'em some air time.

What’s this?! Rumor has it that Flashbang has once again INFILTRATED Stormwind and has been terrorising the local populace with pink hairdos and exploding fluffy (but also cute) elekk plushies and life-like bunnies! Reports detail the screams from near the orphanage as humans, gnomes, and night elves were sent scurrying in fear! Except for a local pandaren casino company - they didn’t seem phased at all. In fact, it says here in this news bulletin that the almighty Herculini Spaghetti (totally NOT related to me, achem) paid the fellow 1,000g to locate a failed rocket missile, that ended up in the middle of Stormwind Lake!

In other news, Flashbang Exports has announced it will be starting its very own TALK SHOW called MG Horde Live that will be starting up in April 2021, and a few weeks after that we will be crossing over to get a glimpse of the action from the Gizleton Grand Prix, coming at ya from the desert wastelands in Desolace!

I tell ya folks, nothing but action here. That’s coming from a HUGE footbomb star (i’m famous back home, didn’t ya know?). I seen crowds before, but these ones just keep getting bigger. These Flashbang Exports folks must be rollin’ in those macaroons.

Crossing back now to the live action of the Steamwheedle Sharks Vs the Bilgewater Bulldozers! Don’t forget to grab your hot dogs and ka’ja cola as ya head back to ya seats!!

(Also, yes we are still short on tanks and we wouldn’t mind a few more healers too! Flashbang Exports is GOBLIN ONLY. So please don’t apply if you’re some other race because you’ll stick out no matter how good you think your disguise is!)

2 Likes
486

*peaks in on the busy goblins from afar

Soft spoken to himself, “What are they getting into now?”

487

Flywheel put down the Extender-Vision 438B binoculars she was using to spy back at the pandaren monk. She thought he might have been trying to blend with a large cactus bush.

She picked up her goblin-frequency tuned radio and began barking orders into it. “I need three Flashbang Assassins to take the rear flank! The infiltrator has passed the western perimeter. Circle around and see if ya’ll can surprise him from behind. I pay double if ya can do it without settin’ off any bombs and lettin’ the whole place know we’re here!”

She checked her stolen gnomish-tech mechanical stopwatch. “Dang. Three more hours till sunrise. We gotta get this job done before the Alliance catch onto us!”

488

Eddy slips out of his now well-oiled and tailor-made Gnome suit and lifts the radio. “I’m sure Gavoz is on it, boss. Now that he’s chief of the GTL, ain’t no Panda slippin through HIS dragnets!”

Eddy switches to a wide-band broadcast channel, guaranteed (mostly) to reach the entire Horde force. Probably Alliance, too, if Gavoz hasn’t jammed the signal.

“And since I’m he-yahs, your ole pal Eddy P wants ta remind youz guys that this is GUILD MEETING WEEK in Fuselight!”

crackles, whines, and mutters about failed Gnomish tech can be heard through the static

"Dat’s right, Gob fans! If ya wanna be da best, ya gotta join da best and this Saturday night in Fuselight, you getcha chance. Only if you’re a Goblin, though. That’s the key component in this amazing venture called Flashbang Exports. Yeah, yeah. We he-yahs. And we ain’t changin da policy, ee-duh. Go Goblin or go home, pal. Dats how it works.

Anyway. Want some fun? Wanna dance? Want free cookies and pie? Flashbang’s gotcha covered. Don’t believe me? Come on down and see for yaself. And if you happen to be there during Walkan’s Words of Weirdness, just ignore him. He’s been lured into the cult of Bastion. Hehehehe.

radio crackles again, this time with shouts of ‘get the fel off this channel, ya schmuck!’

“Alright, alright, I’m going. But don’t forget: Saturday night’s da night for Goblin goodness in Fuselight. Join up and join the mayhem. And when ya do, tell em your ole pal Eddy P sentcha. I’ll be glad-ja did!”

2 Likes
489

Our all-goblin raid team had a great night tonight! Our team is very casual and fun and we only raid for 2 hours once per week.

(Yes, that’s right, all-goblin means we raid without druids, demon hunters, paladins, and monks!)

After about 2 months of trying, we finally got normal Lady Inerva Darkvein down, yay! Then we went on to two shot Artificer Xy’mox. There were celebrations all round and many rainbows and goblin rocket jumps for joy.

If you are interested in raiding for fun rather than hardcore progress, consider rolling a goblin and signing up with us!

We accept all goblin classes and specs (even ‘bad’ ones) and as long as you have a minimum gear level of around ilevel 170-180 you’re good to go.

We could do with more healers (priest or shaman) and a disc priest would be awesome. I recently swapped to tanking, so I need someone to fill my shoes!

We could also use more melee DPS - unholy/frost DK, arms/fury warrior, any rogue spec, survival hunter, or enha shaman.

We also do mythic dungeons, Torghast, legacy content, and RP events. Join up to Flashbang Exports and have fun again!

490

Yeah! Well done, raiders. And while your ole pal Eddy P. doesn’t partake in such heavy-lifting sort of work, Flashbang has a fabulously fun group of loot miners and ilevel climbers!

Now, you MAY have heard we had guild meeting this past weekend. If ya didn’t show up, well, you missed out on some boomtastic goodness! AND, we signed a new member! Don’t think playahs are interested in the Gob life? Hehehe. You’re wrong, pal. We’re growing by the week with only da best Azeroth has to offer.

So don your goblin suit and come on down to the corporate offices. We’ll sign ya right up. Enjoy the Gob Life today!

1 Like
491

Flashbang Exports is in need of GOBLIN HEALERS for our Castle Nathria normal raid team!

We are looking for holy or disc priests and resto shaman (other classes cannot be goblins). We ask that you gear up to level 170+ before joining the team, but you don’t need to know the fights (or be particularly skilled even).

We raid on Fridays from 10pm-12am CST and are currently 6/10 N.

If you would like to become a healer with a bunch of fun-loving shortie green folk, please contact me directly on discord (Flywheel#4087) or find us in game on Guild Finder.

P.S. We are having a RP fishing contest in Ratchet on Sat 27th March at 8pm, and we also recently had our monthly IC guild meeting and timed an all-goblin mythic 5- and lots of other exciting guild activities!

Fishing contest poster:
https://i.imgur.com/YinB36T.png

1 Like
492

Fishing contest on tomorrow night! Non-guildies welcome. Come see what all the hype is about!

Event poster:
https://i.imgur.com/YinB36T.png

493

Guess what? Another Fishing contest!

This just in. On the 25th of this month - April there’s another fishing contest!

To go with the Booty Bay Fishing Extravaganza… The contest is Sundays from 14:00 to 16:00 (server time). but on the 25th’ Kennidee will host an RP one with the event.

494

Go Kennidee! This gob knows how to host a good time.

We had our monthly guild meeting today, and Kennidee was up there, tooting her horn!

We were proud to announce Revette as our Employee of the Month - and she received a Cobalt Raven and 5,000g (and a very red and blushing face, hehe).

Last night, Flashbang Exports also down Sludgefist in normal Castle Nathria with an all-goblin team!

We do things at our own pace, in our own way. If you’re sick of the rat race and boring same old, try something different. There is no other guild like Flashbang Exports!