No it’s not victim blaming. It is common sense. Want to change society? Good luck, that doesn’t happen quickly. Want to improve things you have to deal with personally in the meantime? Take a little responsibility. For the record, there are creepers of both genders and creepers that target both genders. Kind of a buyer beware in a sense. Should they do it? Of course not. Should I open myself up for abuse, take the abuse, complain about the abuse (because abuse happens)—or just walk away from the abuse? Which benefits me more?
I was once in a guild with… thinks like 14 or 16 women, at one point, and the population was close to 50/50 for it’s entire lifespan. This was from Vanilla to early MOP. One thing I learned is that in nearly every case, Toxic behavior is what attracted toxic people. Either into the guild, or into the parties and raids.
That one person doing the; ‘tee-hee, I’m a girl’ BS and magically 4 or more toxic guys would come in with the same BS’. Then the girl in question would be going, ‘I don’t like this they’re bothering me.’ How’d we deal with that problem? Well at first the ladies in the guild who were not toxic (most of them), would ask the girl having issues why she was going out of her way to attract that kind of attention if she didn’t like it. And then having been called out on her BS, she would have a tantrum and she’d be G-kicked shortly after, because why should the rest of us have to deal with that when we were doing fine before.
Now that being said, it’s not always the girls fault, sometimes you step in sh_t. You get a guy who keeps it together long enough to get into the guild. then he notices the abundance of ladies and thinks he’s in a harem anime. So g-kicks for them as well.
In-fact. one of the ladies who helped run the whole guild (guild bank before banks were added to the game), was trusted so much. that she was made our recruitment officer. And she was also secretly our ‘removement officer’ She was the only person who could give you the boot without a word, and she’d be like ‘okay this is why…’ after. while she didn’t do it often. when she did we could all feel better knowing that she was making it a better place to be.
TL:DR. It takes two to tango, so stop dancing if your partner is an a**hole.
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Exactly.
Oh I’m not saying you shouldn’t avoid spaces if you want to do that. I just don’t like how this is the most common answer in this thread as to how to tackle the problem.
For the individual it is, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we do or discuss. Sure, you can avoid situations you don’t want by avoiding all spaces that might or are likely to lead to those situations. However, at the same time we have to ask ourselves how, not as an individual but as a community, we can make it so things change for the better and those people who avoid those spaces can enter them without the bad situation to be likely to occur. Of course that is not the quick solution but we have to look at both, the end goal and what everyone can do individually, not just tell women to act like they’re Fred, 45 and avoid everything that could reveal they aren’t Fred, 45 forever.
And yea I’m aware all genders and sexes can creep on all genders and sexes and I specifically mentioned it as well. Just this thread was about women so I tried to stick to that to a degree. What I said about women goes for men who experience that as well though.
My reply wasn’t only addressed at you though. I just don’t know if you can address multiple people - don’t think so. I just noticed there was lots of “just avoud space x” replies and few “we could do this so one day you don’t have to avoid space x” replies
Ok. I have given a way to avoid it for now. How do you propose to fix the population of earth? I tend to tackle manageable problems. I don’t really waste my time trying to fix everything, because I’m a realist and that isn’t going to happen. If you have a solution to the wider problem, share? Otherwise, managing in the meantime is the best option.
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It’s not about quick fixes. Your advise is a proper quick fix for the individual person and I don’t argue with that. I just think in addition/simultaneously we all have to start actually calling out bad behavior/harassment (regardless of who is getting harassed) and punish it. In game that can be confronting someone who harassed someone, vote kicking them, kicking them from the guild, giving them one more chance and kicking them if they don’t do better.
There’s multiple ways and I’m sure many people already do those things but I also know that another huge group of people doesn’t and is more likely to tolerate bad behavior forever because it’s more convenient than calling someone out or because they just don’t feel responsible cause “well they’re not attacking me”.
As I added to my last reply, my original reply wasn’t only targeted at you. It was moreso just a reaction to noticing that there’s many replies advising the person affected to avoid space X (reasonable quick fix) than acknowledgement people are getting harassed and how individuals, as part of this community, can slowly effect change over time so the affected people do not have to avoid space X forever.
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This absolutely should be the way it’s handled. I was referring to randoms. I can’t imagine why anyone would stay in a guild that did NOT kick, etc.
Imo, there should be no warning. Zero tolerance.
I can imagine that Dwarf saying “Pucker up buttercup!” before planting a kiss 
Come to a game like WOW, meet a bunch of thirsty af beta males & probably encouraged em; then complain about too much attention ? Do you also string men along when you know they like you, but all they are to you is validation & disposable after draining any value?
I hope you know all that comes at a cost; a societal cost. Those men will no longer be interested in a few more years & will be dating your daughters instead. Here’s advice to any would be thirsty guys, fear of rejection has a cost. When you try to meet women & remove the fear of rejection you set yourself up for the CRAZIES.
Eh kinda doubt that…my daughter is a bit of a kick azz already…
Yea I’m not big on the warnings either tbh. I’d probably give them the reason if it was something that happened in a group setting where not only the person affected could’ve told me but I wouldn’t if they e. g. Sent them creepy whispers or something just so there wouldn’t be repercussions for the person/people affected. In that case it’d just be a “not a good fit” if they asked I think.
With randoms it’s difficult, that’s true. I mean, I still try to say something if it’s a rando in a group setting but yea if it’s whispers or it’s only the two of them in voice they’re pretty much on their own.
Come on now, we all know resources drive them wild.
Sounds like straight from the MGTOW bible.
Whats a mogtow?
NVM, just looked it up, sounds crazy.
Def not one of those, I totally disagree with hookup culture; given enough time society will as well.
IMO that’s all bs to decimate birth rates. how does any of that serve us well?
Damn bro you showed them
Oh well, they think marriage is the root of all evil. Or women are. Or women in marriage. Definitely all of the above. Most videos from those guys are essentially just making fun of random 30 something year old single moms, no further background info, who have problems finding a partner. They’re all triumphant like “well well well former Stacy, if only you had treated him like a king and been the obedient little bunny you’re supposed to be you might not be single and miserable (assumption) now. You had it coming for yourself” blabla and then in the comment sections they glorify the time it was still legal for a 50 year old to marry a 16 year old. It’s pretty disgusting overall. But yea they also hold the “at 30 something noone will want you and then they’ll go for your daughter instead and you can’t blame them because blabla” view
On decimating birth rates… I’m not sure. None of the videos I’ve seen that target that community say anything about birthrates. It’s probably just part of the “avoid women and having a family because it never pays off” philosophy
I have no illusions what that really is; it’s an attack vector being exploited by those using subversion.
Question is…why would you even bring that up in a video game about killing dragons and demons and stuff? No one truly cares what you are behind your character unless your in a relationship with that person. If your going on voice chat in a pug for M+ or raid and saying “I identity as ___” then yeah ofc they will attack you…because you had brought up that information without anyone asking in a community known to be heavily toxic. Just stay focused on the related game content like “pulling X” or “interrupt mobs cast” so you don’ get attacked. And the fact that you have a “preferred pronoun” and want people to respect that…random people online who are toxic…is less then ideal to even think about.
I have female characters and I don’t go around saying “im a dude irl fyi”. I just don’t let it ever get to a point where people can talk about anything else but the game. And if I get on voice chat, no one says anything…we just clear the content as normal.
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I was raised by a single mom. For some of these guys growing ups hard without a father for guidance. Woman give horrible dating advice. Some guys don’t learn until they get older. Def not ok to go around making women feel uncomfortable though… If shes not into you just move on.
Edit: some guys don’t get certain women have a “type”. Yes, there’s some young college girls totally into older dudes with dad bods, see it all the time when I visit my bro in Miami (I don’t get it either).