I thought that would usually be a Sunday actually.
The only thing i have upstairs is racoons in my attic and they dont care to engage me oh god that was gold.
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Wow what a night. Went through two bags of popcorn.
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Good morning.
Kinda thinking of what to say? I’m going to dedicate today into looking at resources. Yesterday was downright terrifying. There has to be medicine or therapy or something that can help me.
I was sent a ticket at 4 PM (well beyond when I left for the day) yesterday, again, something I can’t deal with it and sounds super urgent. There’s just been a sharp uptick on really bizarre things happening where I feel it’s being painted as my fault, or just something I can’t do.
Mid breakdown I just up and left all the teams in Teams, associated with my work, my brain deciding I was going to just up and quit. I’m not going to do that, 'course, but I can’t really explain my thinking process with it.
I’ll get it ironed out, promise. I came too far to be stopped now just because the human mind is a bit silly sometimes.
Anyway! Outdoor projects are looking good! We have a plot ready, just need liner and dirt. When it’s ready to go, I’ll share a picture here.
I looked at the Oblivion remake. $50 is a bit steep for a game I already own and can basically remake it with mods. So I’m not sure on that one. Did touch War Thunder again during the downtime! I’m pretty bad, leveling up Japan because they have some fun sounding tanks further down, but I’ll get there!
Hope you all have a good day! And I appreciate all the advice. Thank you all so much. 
Sorry for deleting the previous posts mid episode.
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The fact that you can admit and identify this is incredibly encouraging! Our minds do indeed play tricks on us and like to think that they get the final say, but there’s always much, much more to it 
My wife and I are past our mid 40s, and we’ve both taken a step onto the path less travelled by starting new careers/schooling. It’s been scary, fun, engaging, and made our relationship even stronger. But if we’d listened to our minds…we’d still be in jobs we hated, because that’s what we were raised to believe was the ‘right’ thing to do. Provide at the cost of our own health.
We are both strong advocates of the fact that it is just as important to take care of our minds and souls as it is to visit a doctor or dentist to maintain our health.
It’s been a difficult journey, but we’re in it together to improve our lives, bodies and minds.
As a male, I’m a strong advocate and support that men also need to be open to taking care of the mental health just as much as we are told to take care of our physical selves. Men’s mental health has been put on the back bench for far too long!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that no matter who is reading this, male, female, gender fluid and everyone in between…love yourself, take care of yourself, and know that there are those around you who support you 
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Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyways, hope everyone is having a great evening/morning/afternoon (which ever part of the world you are all in.)
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There’s a reason you don’t let users set the ticket priority. Everything is a critical system.
If it’s not something you personally know how to support, can you reassign the ticket to someone that knows how, or have a colleague show you? I know yesterday was a bit chaotic on your team, but someone should be able to help you out.
The Oblivion remake mystifies me. Sounds like a cash grab.
“Man up and deal with it” doesn’t work.
Mornin’ folks.
Bowling was… substandard. I was the “best” bowler on our team, and I hit somewhere in the low 400s. The other team did much better. At least that’s the last time we’ll bowl that oil pattern. And almost the last week of the season; we have the championship next week, with the four teams that won the quarters battling it out, while the rest of us just show up for fun. And food. And prize money.
No walk this morning - I decided sleep was a better option. Of course, I didn’t go back to sleep. We’ll make up for the missed walk - it’s supposed to be a pretty decent day - high around 70, with a slight chance of rain later. Tomorrow’s looking about the same, so I have a pretty fair day to start my four day weekend. Yeah, once again, I’ll lose vacation time if I don’t use some. Seriously - I need to take a week next month. I think I want to get out somewhere and do a couple days of hiking. I’d like to do a bit of the Appalachian Trail, but that’s a day’s drive just to get there. On the other hand… I’ll have a week to do it. And I’m pretty much ready to go - I’d just need to pack my gear.
Starts the coffee and puts out fresh fruit
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I think that was the worst part. I recognized it. I knew what was happening. And I tried all the tools I knew of but my brain had other ideas.
It’s just real hard to talk about because I know it makes no sense. I’m telling myself it makes no sense. But sure can’t let things stand as they are now.
I think? Talking with it now with a coworker and he’s as perplexed as I am.
I literally told the person that same day that assigned it to me that I don’t have access to the things I used to. Part timers just don’t get them. I don’t think he understands.
Bonus points for it breaching SLAs, which is now tagged to me.
And hey, yeah, it’s absolutely lovely out right now. Perfect walking weather! You’ll make up for it in no time. And Onyx too, if she’s up to it! With you on the Oblivion remake. Just a quick grab for TES 6, or maybe the thirtieth Skyrim remake. 
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I run into issues with the list. I have total anosmia. Number of things I can smell = 0
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Put out cookies for the blues, knowing they have a lot to clean up when they get in.
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YES! Go do it. If not that, pick another long trail you can hike that is closer to you. You may need a hotel room at the start and end, but that is no big deal.
Thank you!
/Sets out the vats of coffee, hot water kettle, teas, cold drinks, bagels, toast, eggs, and bacon.
Super pretty weather here too today, and all week. Warm days, cool nights. Mostly sunny. I got a lot more done on the big garage wall yesterday. Just the peak to do today. I have a friend crashing here so he will be back later today after work and can make sure I did not fall off a ladder.
I REALLY need to get the seeds started. I should have had them in pots/seed trays at the start of April and I did not. Not a huge deal, but I am behind for my growing area. It should be safe to plant things direct to ground by the 30th.
Enjoy the day all! Happy Wednesday!
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Found support resources tied to my employer and reached out. I’m fearing the email I sent was a good deal wordy…I’m not even sure if I sent it to the right place. It’s gonna be real embarrassing if not.
Had a chat with the coworker I was supposed to meet with yesterday, just a whole bunch of stuff happening. It was really packed with people so that didn’t help me, but it all ironed itself out.
May take a good walk after work today. It’s so nice outt!
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Excellent! Wordy or not, that is a great first step. If it was the wrong place to send it, that is fine. At least you now have a template/draft you can revise and send to the right place when you figure that out.
You can also keep a list/journal of things you want to talk to support about. Describing the episode you had yesterday, the intrusive thoughts, catastrophizing, panic, mood crash, impulsive actions/thoughts. It gives a concrete example of an episode that causes you great distress, impacts your ability to work, and gives support a starting point. They know what it is you need help with. I think you said you were spectrum too - and I know for me that is super important when working with support. The techniques that might work with someone neurotypical don’t work with me. Routine change like that conference, then forgetting meds, not knowing where people are, the crowds, then the panic - my body and brain react differently and it is harder to handle. The usual advice they give won’t work - I have to instead over plan how to deal with it in advance, write up a list of things to do/know, research the place I am going and have a map/directions in my hand, etc. That gives me fallbacks to deal with the routine change and makes me feel a bit more in control. I also always have an escape plan!
Proud of you for taking steps to better understand what is going on, and glad you got up and went back in today. A walk later sounds glorious!
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/makes sure those cookies are choc chip by eating them all.
Sorry, hungry myself.
/replaces the eaten cookies with Blueberry Muffins.
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We have the North Country Trail, part of which runs along Pictured Rocks, that I’ve hiked before. Absolutely gorgeous. And decidedly popular, though likely cold and mosquito infested this early in the year.
I live with all of those issues. ‘Hmmm… Did I send that to the right place?’ ‘Did I give too much info?’… I also embarrass myself quite easily.
Someone stealth deployed a change overnight last night that broke things. So I’m stuck in a conference call just in case someone needs me to create an account to test. 
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I should make some oatmeal raisin cookies. I’m pretty sure I’ll get them all to myself.
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Just make some deviled eggs instead. Someone will be sure to devour them in secrecy.
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Nope! I love oatmeal raisin cookies!
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I think this is a really good idea. That way I can read it back to myself and maybe make it register that these things are happening, and how to better try to control them. Also would be very useful to what support I’m able to get!
I did just come back from a good walk while at work! Phone issues in a building deep in campus, where parking is more of a luxury. So, had a good ten minute walk to and from the location! It was great! 
I think I do that a lot? Even just typing in a support ticket or something for WoW I feel like I do that too much. 
Conjures a blueberry cookie. 
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1:40am and still awake. And not wanting to be awake, just not even tired.