Create your own April fools Blue post here!

Actiblizz announces they are reallocating 70% of the retail team to finish the Classic release.

But don’t worry retail fans, Classic is not impacting Live content development…

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Blizzard has decided to merge with Activision!

Oh wait…

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After careful consideration of data and player feedback, we have decided to reverse our decision on the Quel’dorei. However, we have to stress that magical addiction is a part of every descendant of the Highborne’s legacy. With this in mind, we are going to do a small rename of the race.

Please welcome the “Very High Elves” which will be coming in 9.0 for the Alliance!

The Very High Elves will use those ever requested Blue eyes, with a critical enhancement to the experience. They will have veins of bloodshot mana flowing through them, denoting their status as the Highest High Elf ever to be. (since we saw the San’layn thread and liked where that was going, we figured why not give the players what they want, eh?)

As for the Horde, we thought really hard about what we could give you. Cho’gall seems popular on Heroes of the Storm, but then we realized. Why stop there? We can build them, faster, stronger, better. We have the resources, we have the arcanomancy.

In 9.0 we will be offering the pinnacle of Ogre-kind. The Five Headed Ogre!

A True master of the multi-box, the five headed Ogre is a single character with five different heads and thus five different personalities. Need a party? He IS the party. Each Player will control a one of the body’s shared hands, legs, and or… smaller head to direct their magic with!

(No we are not making extra arms. This will work fine. Trust us. Besides, no one liked Goro from Mortal Kombat except that strange teen that played Shang Tsung and constantly used the Kintaro Fatality.).

Body control will be decided by a mandatory 1-100 roll when a new player logs in so that everyone gets a chance to pilot their massive juggernaut of doom. To enforce realism, if 3-4 of the heads are offline, the Ogre will be forced to chicken-hop around until his sleeping limbs are roused.

…Also sorry but for balance and lore reasons, the core rule about Ogres remains.

If one head goes, you all go.

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Good to see you’re still around.

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1.Tauren have been replaced by Pandaren.
2.Spells now have a 1% chance of failing and inflicting the effect on the caster instead of the target.
3.To reduce the number of elves seen in the game, the only way they can get to the mainland is for some to lay down in the water and other elves can walk the entire distance. To make this even more fun, we will be adding sharks to that area.

Big ones.

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I would not mind this at all.
It’s not the 2004 models that make classic. It’s the gameplay.

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A poll ranking all of WOW’s expansions has just concluded and here are the results from most to least favorite:

  1. WOD and BFA in a virtual tie
  2. MOP
  3. Cataclysm
  4. Legion
  5. WOTLK and BC in a distant last. Pathetic.

Voting is complete. Please do not submit your votes. They will not count.

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We are happy to announce that Activision-Blizzard has now merged with Nintendo. Classic will now reflect our new corporate family through the following changes to the Warlock class. All pet models have been swapped for similar models: Charmander for the Imp; Gengar as the Voidwalker; Houndoom as the Felhunter; Primarina as the Succubus. The Inferno and Felguard swaps have not been decided at this time, but those should be done soon^tm.

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I am a beer, brewed with out hops.

What am I?

I am gruit!

Devs: We couldn’t figure out the collision detection with Tauren and mounts, so we removed them. Again. Back to Plainsrunning.

They still need to pay mount fees though. Cuz balance.

You say that jokingly, but Tauren can only ride Kodos in Vanilla (minus pvp mounts or mount drops). In fact, that was true until Wrath.

Classic update.

We are sorry we couldn’t get you more regular updates. The classic Dev team is working around the clock to add some of functionalities you all want!

We heard you loud and clear on sharding and decided to NOT implement it ! To mitigate initial population spike we would add more servers. Only 300 persons at the time will be allowed by server on Horde side and unlimited number of Alliance faction. This way, Horde players will learn to play 1vs100 like it was before.

Another point of contention was Alterac Valley. We are happy to announce that we finally found a solution! Alterac Valley will not be included in classic in Any version.

Some people raised questions about classes flexibility and validity. To prevent these questions from popping on the forums, all classes will have their talents locked in an optimal build (Which spec will be decided at random when you create a new character). You will be able to unlock manual talents modification after finishing MC and BWL. We think finishing these 2 raids will give you enough insight in your class to choose talents yourself.

And finally, we are adding a mobile version of WoW classic. Completing a raid from you mobile device will automatically add an extra loot for you and your pet.

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Class MEME specs will be slightly enhanced to promote player-base diversity.

MEME specs include: Balance/Feral, Retribution/Prot, Elemental/Enhancement and Shadow.

Classic wow will not be playable on the computer, but will be released on the ps4 in August.

“Epic loot will be periodically mailed to every player every few months to simulate the fun of the gear treadmill from BFA.”

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They can also ride wolves.

Gnomes will now be 10% smaller but gain a 5% movement speed boost due to a glitch that made them run slower in PvP.

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New movement perks for gnomes and dwarves with accompanying animations. For dwarves, there is “Toss”, a racial ability that allows dwarves in groups to be quickly thrown forward 25 yards. For gnomes in groups, there’s “Flick”. This ability allows a warrior in the group to place his thumb on the gnomes head and flick its feet, sending said gnome flying end over end for 25 yards. Both of these racials come with a 10 minute cooldown.

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I wonder how many people aren’t getting the 867-5309 reference here.

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Not everyone listens to good music :stuck_out_tongue: