And this is why we never hang out sometimes…
I was 100% right. The Klingon book works perfect.
You know what? I don’t care how much anyone will pay me for it. I make the best use of it myself.
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Here’s a tip-- instead of perfume, I put a little BBQ sauce on the side of my neck and let it set for a minute before cleaning it off. Definitely helps.
Orc woman easy to please, if man not stupid.
Give bouquet of axes. Also, no be gentle. “Orc smash,” not just for squishy pinkskin faces.
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Since your name is Orcesstra, I will sing for you the best ballads of the bloodiest and most fearsome Klingon Operas.
And we shall exist in a duet of violence and music, intertwined like bowels and the fingers that crush them and drag them from their previous residences.
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Yes, I like! Also like you get name joke.
Soooo…you like axes?
My favourite such weapon is the war club. It is perfectly balanced to bring the spike down during a heavy swing.
I love them so much I wield two of them.
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Orc after my heart! And others. Me like.
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You must have spent a lot of time with Orcs with this much viable information that you have gathered.
You should start selling your advice and make a fortune.
Modified for Orc Culture
At the dawning of time, in the great maelstrom that was the forging of the World, the Gods and the Elements fought for dominance, and power over the world. To order it as they saw fit.
The Gods fought for Order, they sought to organize the world and bring it to heel. The Elements fought to keep the world wild, and free, where the only law was strength and honor.
The Gods, in their hubris, sought to create a being to tame the Elements. To crush them, and steal from them their power. It was so, that they made the first Orc. They made Him a Warrior, strong and fearless. With a Heart-beat that was fierce and would not bow to the seemingly overwhelming power of the Elements.
But as time passed, his Heart began to falter.
The Gods came to the first Orc, and they asked him: “Why do you falter? Why does the fire of your Heart dim to embers?”
And he told them.
“I am alone, and my Heart aches.”
And so the Gods created for Him a partner. Just as strong, just as fierce. And the Orc and this new being clashed and fought for dominance.
Until, amidst their struggle wisdom prevailed.
“We should not fight each other. We should join together, and allow our Hearts to beat as one.”
And the Orc saw the wisdom, and they joined together. Together they were unstoppable. And joined, their Hearts forged a fire that terrified the Gods, and the Gods themselves realized their error and attempted to stop them.
The two, now joined as one, cursed the Gods, and fought them. Together, side-by-side, with axe and claw they killed the Gods, and threw down their heavenly palaces.
The Elements saw, and watched and approached the two.
Within the Elements they saw the same fierceness that beat within their own hearts, the same desire for freedom under the stars that they felt within themselves. And here, over the broken bodies of the Gods forged the bonds of Orc and Elements. To support and join with each other. To fight for their own freedom. To soothe each other ills, and to fire each other’s passions.
So forged in ancient fire are the bonds between Orcs, and the bonds between the Clan and the Elements, and now forged in fire are the bonds between you.
Ancient Draenor Marriage ritual, found amidst the ruins of an old Warsong encampment in Nagrand
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Depends on the orc lady.
Green Orc: Meat and Spikes with the skulls of the Alliance.
Mag’har: Eat rocks and tell them how lovely a path would be made out of the bones of Lightforged.
Laughing Skull Orc: Good luck you’re on your own.
Pfft, barely.
But you see people? This is why I am Horde.
Why would I want to join some incarnation of purity and righteousness faction when I could live with the Klingons?
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