BerserkSword:
obsession with batz is unreal
i went to team liquid to see if there was any tournament going on and first thing i see is this
h ttps://tl.net/forum/starcraft-2/578286-real-replays-from-tehbatz
Yeah that’s pretty nuts. It reminds me of a girl from highschool who my stoner friend called “psycho B”. She used to follow me around and then would get embarrassed if she was caught. When embarrassed, she became rude because she didn’t know the proper way to say hi how are you I like your biceps. That’s the vibe I get with these crazies. They are probably mid 20’s girls honestly. I guess you can smell the testosterone emanating from my keyboard.
Long story short psycho B and I enjoyed a milkshake from a small town on the other side of a mountain range after getting soaking wet by blowing through a river with a camry up in the mountains. Gotta keep it G rated bro or the mods ban you for bragging about your W’s. Full story here and here:
I never ran the software on his posts. Don’t got time, horse. Too busy out here winning. I just get this feeling that reminds me of a girl from highschool who used to stalk me. She was always so mean but really she was just on the backfoot embarrassed about being caught ogling my massive pecs. She had the hots for me super bad. I took her in my camry to Arby’s. She started dropping all sorts of hints. At first I played dumb but she started telling all these stories about her “friend” and her boyfriend almost as if she was describing herself. I’ll bet you can see where this is going. I told her I know just the spot we can enjoy our fries and drove right up into the mountain. Camry’s are tough af and we passed a jeep on the way up. They all started laughing telling us to turn around. The road washed out. We came up and sure enough there was a creek going over the road. I was sure we could make it and hit the gas. She screamed and grabbed my arm as we plowed into the water. By some miracle we made it across. She was all wet. She forgot to roll the window up. I looked at her, she looked at me, and it was in that moment neither of use could resist any longer. Our craving for icecream was so bad we gassed it all the way to the small town on the other side of the mountain. The fries got wet, yo, and we was starvin. We hit 60 mph on that dirt road rolling along like it was a maxmax movie. It was the best milkshake she ever had. At least that’s what she told me
4? I would have received 7, bare minimum, perhaps even as high as 11. I was so popular in highschool I even had girls stalking me. No joke. I had a stoner friend who would refer to her as “crazy b”. He went on to do crystal and ruin his teeth. Anyway I decided to let this girl take me to the prom once. I still got the photos. I thought that would alleviate things however psycho B just went into overdrive. I had to do evasive maneuvers. Use all the walkpaths to/from class that were hardest to track.
That’s when another psycho B enters the equation. She sent me a letter telling me I am the hottest, strongest, smartest, you know all really obvious stuff, and asking me out to prom. Her daddy is rich though so I thought hey why not. I ended up throwing a bucket of mud in her face before the night was over. Then this nutso liberal girl with a diabetic brother invited me to homecoming (I like to crack liberal jokes so she thought I was a leftist) then quickly found out I am lib-right while going on a date to a country singer’s concert. We’d decided to skip the dance. She thought the jokes were sarcastic when in reality they were sardonic. I guess she doesn’t support FREEDOM OF SPEECH BABY.
I was so confused because I thought I was supposed to ask the ladies out. You know, it’s like a right. I was cheated. The person I wanted to ask out was the chick who hated me. You know, Lorelei. I stepped on her toes with my cowboy boots during ballroom class. She never forgave me after that. She looked up to the sky and said “TAKE OFF THOSE DARN BOOTS!”. I always wore those super gay ballroom shoes after that.
The funny thing is, she wasn’t even the hottest girl around. The other 3 were absolute bangers. The fact that she wasn’t irresistibly attracted to me was just so fascinating. She was definitely an outlier. You know, not following the established trend of other girls in the highschool. There is something strangely attractive about a women who hates you. Maybe it’s the challenge - can my exceptional qualities overtake even this woman? Maybe it’s untangling the mystery of why she is so bitter. I happen to think she was jealous and masking it with bitterness. You know, that’s probably it. She always took ballroom super seriously. She was going to be a dancer. I was just there to crack jokes and have some fun. She probably mellowed out as she got older and, in reviewing her memories, thought of how she should have been a little bit more relaxed in highschool.
That’s one of the reasons they loved me by the way. I was super chill. I still remember telling the girls in ballroom class about what happened to my toyota camry. They all thought it was so funny that I would hang out with all these redneck dudes with their big trucks but I had a camry. My camry was iconic, really. Well anyway one day I didn’t have it. It became hot news shortly thereafter. I had to, regrettably, inform them that I had drove it backwards off a small cliff. I know what you are thinking. Yes, I was inside the car as it happened. You see, I’d taken my camry off roading. Well I went down a certain section that I’d been down before and it was totally muddy this time around. It was super steep, probably a 30 degree incline. Anyway I went down this and there is a cliff at the bottom. I couldn’t get back up due to the mud. So I drove as fast as I could to pick up speed to make it up the hill again. I was doing 40 mph in a camry on bumpy terrain. I thought I was in fast and furious movie. Well I almost made it up the hill. I slowly ground to a halt right before the top. I hit my brakes but my tires were slipping anyway due to the mud. I went crashing down the hill, off the cliff, going backwards.
Now THAT’s a REAL rodeo right there. (be sure to glance at a different girl and wink at her as you say that
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