What if you woke up tomorrow as Jeff Kaplan?

General Discussion
41

I haven’t really thought them out, but they’d be pretty similar across the whole cast, like being able to run or walk, climb things, etc. Heroes that currently have movement abilities that would become universal will have superior ones, for example Hanzo/Genji can climb any surface, but other heroes can only do so if there are rungs or ledges or something.

He has 100 hp. So yes, there will be stuff that can one-shot him, but he moves at the same base speed as heroes bigger than him, and would probably have a special movement ability as well, being a scurrying hamster and all, so his little hitbox would be bloody hard to catch.

Yes, they do! There will be some kind of thematic difference between Torbjorn’s and Symmetra’s, though, so Torbjorn may be better for fortifying a point while Symmetra is better for manipulating the map, but there’d be some overlap so you’re not totally forced to pick one over the other.

But most importantly, Junkrat would get his line back.

1 Like
42

I have NO clue why they didn’t just make that a voice line.
then roadhog can say “junkrat, they don’t have those anymore”

5 Likes
43

Then if you listen reeeeeal closely… you hear Symmetra let out a single, faint sob.

4 Likes
44

“Hey guys, it’s TheWorksho- I mean Jeff, and we are adding a map editor and a massive Workshop update. Also, we’re stopping owl and we are balancing around the community. In addition, we will try a very different and special experimental. We are bringing back 1-3-2 but 1-2-2 will also be in the experimental. Many more tank changes will happen, the most notable one is the global tank cc resistance.”

“We will also try to combat smurfs by raising the level requirement for comp to 125, and lower ranks will give more sr for winning and more sr for losing. Spauntaneous back and forth movement and quick sr drops on the ladder will reduce the number of reports required to receive punishment, as this could indicate throwing and smurfing. We will also be experimenting with an sr minimum. If you start winning very many games at once, the “sr lock” will rise from 700 sr. You cannot go below this lock. It decays over time, 450 sr a month to ensure punishment does not occur unreasonably. Also, we will be matching Quickplay players with tighter skill levels using mmr so one way matches do not occur or as often.”

3 Likes
45

Hey, that’s my job!

2 Likes
46

The way I’m laughing rn is scaring my mom :joy::joy:

2 Likes
47

:+1: :wink:
Not anymore, bucko…!

2 Likes
48

I say otherwise.

2 Likes
50

After three reports in 5 minutes Auto-Ban until team reviews.

1 Like
51

No

1 Like
52

Upload a video apologizing for the horrible state the game is in now, promise you will fix and then do nothing.

Oh wait that already happens…

1 Like
53

"The Global Tank Crowd Control Resistance started an outbreak of violence in multiple cities across the west coast of Canada and the United States, booping vehicles into gutters and flashbanging pedestrians in protest of the disproportionate challenges crowd control presents to their category.

"Participants waved signs and chanted slogans, like ‘Buff fun, nerf stun.’ One radical tank main, who goes by the battle tag of ‘Booperella,’ said at a GTCCR rally on Monday ‘We will resist knockback, but no longer passively! The time has come to stop holding our shields at the choke! It’s time to push forward!’

2 Likes
54

Hahahaha nice one.

I would buff Reaper back to his glorious 40% lifesteal and maybe nerf down to 35% once people start complaining

Also I will make Mcree’s flashbang have 10 second cd with half the duration and range. Ooh and nerf his fire rate too.

1 Like
55

Jeff has fire for his pupils has he sees the initial destruction of the violence
“Yes…
Gives Doomfish the Infinity Gauntlet and all of the stones.
The end is near.”
Zenyatta: “AAAAAAHHHHH NO PLS”
Doomfish: “Why are you running? Why are you running?”

1 Like
56

It wouldn’t be a very believable cosplay. Jeff’s voice and Gordon’s sound nothing alike.

1 Like
57

Remove freaking LoS check from sombra

Back to glorious not buggy days baby

58

I’d re-write the the community forum guidelines to allow anyone to have and share any opinion they wanted.

Ban all players who utilized moira to climb from bronze to diamond.

I’d create 2 control groups of paid game testers with no bias toward any character to test character changes and additions before they even reached live.

Would create a list of direct rules for which the game should be heading towards.

Create 1 character in each category as the model balanced character and make them unplayable within competetive, qp ect… just for comparison balance within each category.

Create 2 characters for each category for each country. Example 2 american tanks (winston) 2 american dps (cree, soldier) 2 healers. 2 african tanks(orisa), 2 african dps (doomfist), 2 african healers (baptiste) and ect… for each and every country.

I’d remove the report system within the forums

I’d allow people to see why they were reported in game along with who reported them.

I’d allow an infinite number of avoid player slots.

I’d add more reticle options to the game (no symbols or text)

Instead of showing past stats I’d only allow current stats to be shown for the season along with resetting mmr and stats every season.

Allow maps to be played twice in a row in qp so both teams have a chance to play on defense and attack.

Remove 2cp as a game type or add more entry points for non vertical moving characters to push in different directions.

Focus hardcore on fixing server issues in which keep certain characters from their abilities working correctly.

I’d return ana to having nano boost with the speed boost.

Id fire whichever dev thought of bastions ironclad buff the first time it went live without listening to the community first about it.

I’d fire anyone with a political agenda or political bias to the point of being toxic among the employees.

All in all I’d do a lot.

1 Like
59

Just enjoy my day, have some breakfast, take a long soak in the bath with some music, then relax on the couch with a good book or a movie.

I’d keep the beard.

1 Like
60

YES.

Question would it all fall into one ability, then that ability splits into something like 4 other abilities with their own separate cooldowns?

1 Like