Best husband/wife?

This is my tier list if you could marry each hero :eyes:

and it was a universe where each one was single and didn’t already have a spouse/gf/bf/kids from lore

:revolving_hearts: S TIER :revolving_hearts:

Baptiste - Seems like he would be pretty loyal and cool-headed after learning lessons in his past. Always there to help you if you get hurt, or protect you if needed.

Brigitte - Gymrat, she will keep you motivated to stay in shape. Just straight up cute, probably always smells good with a tint of engine oil from her engineering and stuff. Has adorable cat and is a deep caretaker of those close to her.

Mei - The sweetest girl this side of a payload. As long as you can help her heal from PTSD, it will probably be a very wonderful marriage. She is also an inventor so creative and smart people would be the perfect match, you and her could bounce ideas off of each other.

:heart: A TIER :heart:

D.Va - Would probably be a better choice if you are younger, considering she is youngest in cast. A true gamer girl but not fake like e-streamers who only know about the existence of league, CSGO, and PUBG and nothing else. She might need a strong partner though to help her understand how to share the burdens of life, since she tends to take it all on herself without asking for help.

Lucio - Having a DJ husband would be really cool, you’d get to travel the world and see his concerts. He also seems like a really caring individual and every one likes him.

Mercy - Another very kindhearted potential wife. You would never have to worry about getting hurt. You would, however, have to worry about her often being absent, as she (and her healing research/devices) are incredibly important to the Overwatch mission so she’d be called away a lot.

Symmetra - She is very intelligent and needs someone equally smart to challenge her mentally or she will get bored with you. If you are the right fit though, you could become a power couple.

Torbjorn - A true family man. Would be a very nice choice if you wanna settle down and start a huge family. Just make sure you want a tiny person as a husband, that’s non-negotiable.

Tracer - She would be a very dedicated and loyal partner, and always caring. Best for those with a true sense of justice and wanting to help others. Just make sure you can keep up, she’s probably really fast at everything she does.

:yellow_heart: B TIER :yellow_heart:


Ashe - If you like the dynamic of a gang this might be higher on list for you. Or a crass, bossy woman who wears the pants in the relationship. You’d have excellent protection from danger though (BOB).

McCree - Similar to Ashe. You could have the main character of a western as your husband. Could be a sunset adventure on the dusty trail, or end in a violent shootout, crippling gambling addiction, or booze-fueled accident. Also, hope you like the smell of Cigars.

Hanzo - A more mature warrior. Perhaps you could help him regain his power in the Shimada empire, you would have a very powerful position (as long as you don’t mind a crime-ridden organization). Nonetheless, he is very calculating and smart.

Pharah - A good choice if you don’t mind someone who has a neat, precise, military mindset who is always quick and to the point. Also would be a fun partner if you enjoy rock and basketball.

Reinhardt - Would be a very strong rock of stability as a husband. Always willing to put himself on the line if you ever need it. But it would be quite devastating to inevitably lose him due to old age.

Sombra - She would be a very dangerous wife to have. Cross her once and she will hack 300 years of your family tree and exploit things and make you disappear off the planet. On the flipside, you would have a lot of information about your own friends and enemies via her. As a partner she’s probably pretty sweet and happy to have someone who doesn’t wanna kill her, but she would probably keep your relationship pretty secret from the outside world so don’t expect to post couple pics to your facebook.

Zarya - You’d never have to worry about danger when the world’s strongest woman is your wife. She probably has an insane amount of dedication to the things she cares about, and that would include you. Just make sure she doesn’t work herself to death and you both could find happiness.

:green_heart: C TIER :green_heart:


Ana - Unless you’re already old, would just feel like your Grandma which is weird. Also she would leave this mortal plane far before you would, which would be painful. She would probably be very wise and helpful though.

Doomfist - Would probably be a more “professional” crime marriage, where you are both on the move, traveling and doing illegal things, a real Bonnie and Clyde deal.

Echo - Very beautiful but ultimately cold and metallic. If you can get over that, however, you might find her much higher on the list. Good choice if you want a highly empathetic partner who will mimic your moods and goals.

Genji - Might not be the best husband. Prone to get into life-or-death fights, would have to learn how to love and accept his cyborg body, comes with a lot of drama/baggage from past.

Moira - Would be a good fit if you are of the same mind, and want to push science with unethical practices. Best wife if you are very ambitious and have a dark side and many connections to other underground individuals.

Reaper - Really not much good to say about this possibility. Unless you are with him pre-whatever turned him into a wraith thing. Like blackwatch Reyes, that would be a little better. He seems always angry though and we don’t know much about his old human side/personality.

Roadhog - One of the wildcards. Could wildly go up or down the list depending on how he looks under the mask, how he acts when not in “crime/junker” mode, which we just haven’t seen. Would be a nice fit though, if you are a road warrior biker and looking for your soulmate to burn rubber with.

Soldier 76 - Another old badger. But this one won’t need taking care of, he’s tough as nails. Probably too much so, expect a lot of bouts of absence where he does some vigilante antihero stuff…Is probably very fun to be around when off the battlefield though. You can expect very tasty steaks and grilling!

Widowmaker - If she is truly emotionless and cold to the touch, you might have a hard time staying in love with her. Just be careful too, since she killed her last husband (even though it was a brainwashing situation). But if she actually has emotions and is loving to those close to her, and is simply keeping up the cold killer facade for appearances or work reasons, then she could go way higher on the list.

Winston - A truly loveable and genuine guy, but he monky.

Zenyatta - Would be a decent choice if you purely want spiritual growth and enlightenment. Or if you like the idea of an AI bot comprised of sayings, addages, and phrases. Otherwise not the craziest husband material.

:broken_heart: F TIER :broken_heart:

Bastion - Child-like, naive, robotic, not even humanoid. Better off as being friends.

Junkrat - What in the world would make you marry an international serial criminal who is also absurdly careless with rampant explosives? Are you just a gold digger??

Orisa - Horse mom.

Sigma - All he has going in the positives department is that he’s an accomplished Astrophysicist. Other than that, have fun being woken up all the time when he screams “VIOLENCE” or something similar in his sleep. Also the schizophrenic bouts, the blank staring into the distance when nothing’s there, and mumbling about a melody, the floating objects when he’s around, and so on. Still, he can be very down to earth when normal, as you can see him casually asking Widow to go to a show with him.

Wrecking Ball - What in the Hamtaro addicted crazy person would choose Hammond? Lordt pray for us

16 Likes

I would end up dating Moira.

looks at partner

oh my god, I ended up dating Moira.

5 Likes

Wow you are dating Tilda Swinton? :open_mouth:

1 Like

Nope, but a super bright Belarusian science type, with the same attitudes as Moira.

I’m so happy :slight_smile:

My life may be in danger, but I am so happy :wink:

1 Like

SSS tier -
Brigitte: Has katt

F- tier -
Other heroes: No katt

7 Likes

Sold. Except she would prefer a woman. Tough day

You never know, with enough patience and trying she might change her mind

You forgot Sojourn and them thighs

2 Likes

Am I blind or is Cowboy not on this list?

Edit: Confirmed. Just blind lol

1 Like

can one be a sultan in that universe?

i can’t decide

Thought about it but we don’t really know what she’s like yet so kinda hard

1 Like

Orisa has puppy tho 20 characters

One day you help her with her science experiments, the next day you BECOME the science experiment. We all know how that worked out, ask Gabriel Reyes.

3 Likes

Me. I’ve raised small animals (especially guinea pigs) since I was a kid.

4 Likes

I had hamsters once. And a cat, at same time.
It didn’t end well

As long as it’s not a rabbit you should be fine

Those things die so easily that a mayfly sounds like a more worthy investment of your time, money and feelings than these poor creatures.

Where’s edgy boy :pleading_face::ghost::heart:

1 Like

y’all really sleeping on Hammond.

1 Like

Robotic fake thighs are for sure not enough to overcome her many, many, ahem, undesirable appearance features. Thighs are usually great, but I have to be honest, she easily makes the top five hardest on the eyes. Maybe even number one, honestly.

Sombra. I want to marry her. She’s a bad girl and I’m a good girl with a boring life.

Yeah she’ll probably hack my phone and check everything I do, because she’s overprotective. But also she just doesn’t want me to get hurt. If there’s cameras outside my apartment it’s just to make sure I’m safe.

4 Likes