Look, I get it. When you play Hearthstone you wanna play to win. Even if you’re not going on ladder, you’re queueing up for Casual, and you want to get your W’s.
But come on. If you’re tryharding so much, why not go into actual ladder? Because right now when I think “oh, I’m gonna pick my silly little RNG mage deck, it’s probably not gonna win but let’s see how far I go!” I run into the following:
- Death Knight: Mograine, usually accompanied by Zola, Brann, or both. Love being put on an unstoppable clock.
- Demon Hunter: Jace, Jace, in your face. Even if the original castings didn’t go face, the recastings will.
- Druid: Either linecracker, jade idol + dew process, or both. Why yes, I love overdrawing four cards per turn while my opponent summons a larger and larger man while hiding behind over a thousand armor. Even better when they just finish the linecracker setup and then just AFK, since they can get more experience and can’t lose. Guff’s totally a balanced card, though. Twenty mana doesn’t mean anything at this point.
- Hunter: I used to run into a LOT of APM Hunters with the questline, but honestly, not as much anymore. They’ve probably migrated to the other classes.
- Mage: Similarly, I used to run into a lot of spell damage or mech mages. Now, on a good day, I get Arcane BolTK combos.
- Paladin: Honestly, I don’t run into many Paladins anymore. Most of the ones I see are running strategies that revolve around the board, so… good for them.
- Priest: Everybody calls it ‘big priest’, or ‘APM priest’, or ‘rez priest’, but it’s just Cheat Priest. Either get your big dudes into play obscenely early, or play your infinite spells, or create infinite barriers. If I ever run into boar priest, I just concede immediately.
- Rogue: Everybody’s seen the youtube videos. I’ve ran into a guy that pulled a 38 attack knife out of nowhere. I’ve ran into a guy that pulled a Counterfeit Blade combo on turn 4. I’ve ran into a guy that dropped four 8/8’s on turn 3.
- Shaman: SCREW Shaman. Nine out of ten times I queue up against Shaman, it’s Shudderwock Shaman. The only difference is the flavors. Are they gonna fill my deck with overload? Are they gonna make all my cards cost twenty mana? Are they gonna summon, freeze, and eat my minions? Are they gonna make me deck out of a 40-card deck on turn 10? Are they gonna make me take twenty damage per card I draw? The best games are the ones where they take their time BMing while a two-minute battlecry animation deals three damage to me per cycle. At least with Murloc Shaman I can interact with the board.
- Warlock: Similar to APM Hunter, Curse Warlock has fallen out of fashion, but it HAUNTED me for ages. But while that deck’s gone to the wayside, Tamsin and her Phylactery are having plenty of fun.
- Warrior: Lor’Themar’s having his kicks here, thanks to Vanndar and/or Brann. It’s like Druid’s larger and larger men, except without the mana cheat.
Seriously? If the only ways around this are “pack all the tech cards”, “if you can’t beat 'em, join 'em”, or “just win faster lol”, then that’s not fun gameplay. I don’t want to have to play hyper-aggro just for a chance to win before they pull off their OTK. I don’t want to have to toss out the cards I like just for specific cards that only work in specific situations that might not even work - if I even draw them in time. And I don’t want to play those kinds of decks. Are they winning games? Sure! But if I wanted to spend my time cheesing easy wins, I’d go smurf in Valorant.
Sure, with RNG mage, it usually is a BS win that I pull out of my butt. But at least I played the right cards in the right situation to find that win, instead of playing Solitare with a deck I found online.
I hate having to dig for Theotar or Polymorph spells. I hate losing to a setup that’s literally impossible for me to prevent. I hate dreading every single game I start with a Shaman, praying that once, just once, that it’s a murloc shaman or a deathrattle shaman or even a totem shaman instead of another stupid Shudderwock shaman.
Please. Let me have fun again.
Seriously. It’s called “Casual”, not “Tryhard.” Go to ladder if you want to pull your Fun Interactive Gameplay Combo. Let me and the other plebs bump our action figures together.