You divorce the player above you (Part 1)

I planned a romantic, firelit anniversary dinner on the beach and she stood me up and then made up some lie about “saving her people” and “passed out from smoke inhalation”.

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She didn’t want my Observer watching us.

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Undead. Her body doesn’t even function properly!

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She got mad & cursed me after I suggested we spice up our love life by trying out her extra holes. I feel I kind of brought that upon myself…

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He didn’t like my Voidwalker making him suffer.

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I sacrificed everything for her…what has she given? Nothing. I’m so over her.

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She keeps asking me if I have given anything. Sweetie, I gave you my heart, isn’t that enough?

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I offered to let my Observer replace that ridiculous eye patch and she took offense!

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she invaded my home of gilneas, it soured the relationship

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he kept eating my gnome leftovers from the fridge, i even wrote my name on them!

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Threw away my collection of toe-nail clippings :frowning:

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He kept killing & cooking my pet gnomes.

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I found footage of her confessing her love for a jar of peanut butter on her cellphone.

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He kept doing terrible Bane impressions at the worst times. Yes it’s kind of funny at the drive through but at my mothers funeral? Dude!

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He couldn’t give me an orcgasm. He just wasn’t that kind of orc. A girl’s got needs!

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As you can see, she already took me for half my blindfold.

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I was not told about the vow of chastity Paladins have.

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I am. Laughing so hard rn.

Kept trying to backstab my behind. Honey, it says “Exit only.”

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As it turns out she did NOT sacrifice everything.

I just couldn’t keep it going after that…

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She kept trying to eat my demons…

I WORKED HARD TO TAME THAT FEL SUCCUBUS! AND YOU’D BETTER LEAVE POOR JHAZTAZ ALONE!

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