I planned a romantic, firelit anniversary dinner on the beach and she stood me up and then made up some lie about “saving her people” and “passed out from smoke inhalation”.
She didn’t want my Observer watching us.
Undead. Her body doesn’t even function properly!
She got mad & cursed me after I suggested we spice up our love life by trying out her extra holes. I feel I kind of brought that upon myself…
He didn’t like my Voidwalker making him suffer.
I sacrificed everything for her…what has she given? Nothing. I’m so over her.
She keeps asking me if I have given anything. Sweetie, I gave you my heart, isn’t that enough?
I offered to let my Observer replace that ridiculous eye patch and she took offense!
she invaded my home of gilneas, it soured the relationship
he kept eating my gnome leftovers from the fridge, i even wrote my name on them!
Threw away my collection of toe-nail clippings
He kept killing & cooking my pet gnomes.
I found footage of her confessing her love for a jar of peanut butter on her cellphone.
He kept doing terrible Bane impressions at the worst times. Yes it’s kind of funny at the drive through but at my mothers funeral? Dude!
He couldn’t give me an orcgasm. He just wasn’t that kind of orc. A girl’s got needs!
As you can see, she already took me for half my blindfold.
I was not told about the vow of chastity Paladins have.
I am. Laughing so hard rn.
Kept trying to backstab my behind. Honey, it says “Exit only.”
As it turns out she did NOT sacrifice everything.
I just couldn’t keep it going after that…
She kept trying to eat my demons…
I WORKED HARD TO TAME THAT FEL SUCCUBUS! AND YOU’D BETTER LEAVE POOR JHAZTAZ ALONE!