Was overly concerned with physical attributes. I don’t mind. I stole everything of value that she owned when I left. How’s that for physical attributes now dearest?
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she was a kleptomaniac.
ive had enough of those.
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She thought she was a high elf, didn’t like it when I made a pun about me being taller than her.
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Hit and miss wit. Mostly miss. The sling shot boys found her entertaining, though, right up until they launched her.
And she had just found her audience. How ironic.
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used the word ironic correctly. How pretentious
Left with jagged little pill on the car stereo full blast
Changed all the stations on my car radio right before she drove off with my car. Luckily the car was lowjacked so when I caught up with her she got a ride in the Divorcapult.
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She copied my human form hairstyle, so I dyed mine blue!
Leelinn left me after I asked her to please fetch me some ale.
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He drank all my ale!
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It was a hot day at the compound. I was enjoying the pool, Stinky, just back from de-programming, was being fanned with palm fronds by scantily clad Vulpera maidens. I had a freshly muddled mojito. Life was good. Until the sling shot boys started to gripe about the heat…
I don’t allow them in the pool, for obvious reasons… So I suggested they grab a beer, and pipe down. Sadly, they grabbed all the beer. Tholin’s beer.
Have you ever seen a two foot high dwarf yelling at three nine foot tall ogre’s? Well, you would remember if you had. Next thing I know, Tholin is flying noisily over the compound wall, headed for parts unknown. Ogres are not big on using a compass.
Once again, divorced. It was bound to happen anyway. Without his precious beer, he would have started sniffing around my mojito fixin’s. I can’t have that.
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Fleas, Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!
Kept leaving pieces of himself all over the bed room.
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We had an argument over who has the best healing spells.
I won. She disagreed.
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He wouldn’t put a shirt on.
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Till (un)death do us part
He licked his crotch then tried to kiss me.
Yuck 
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Because she would not accept that showing her the ‘tricks of the trade’ was not a euphemism!
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She kept disappearing when Topper McNabb looked our way. 
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Yeah she made one too many goat jokes and I had to end it. :c
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She claimed her goggles could see me lie. One time I lied…
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