You divorce the player above you (Part 1)

Community General Discussion
2031

He kept wanting to beat-up adequate fighters for exercise and, well, I’m a healer and we’ll be having none of that young man. /tap

2032

She said she was all about discipline, but I watched her eat a 12 piece bucket of KFC in one sitting. Then, she polished off all of the biscuits without taking a single drink. Monster.

3 Likes
2033

I’m just not that into necro philia.

2034

She had cold hooves and kept stealing the covers.

1 Like
2035

He has the bluest eyes…
(sighs mournfully)
Then I found out he WASN’T a ‘High Elf’.
Many ales needed.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

3 Likes
2036

I thought I could help with what ales her but saw the tab and realized to pay for it she’d spend months box dancing as her junk mail wasn’t bring the boys to the post office. /sigh

1 Like
2037

I woke up after a night out in Dalaran and found I’d gotten married. Again. I thought she looked familiar. We talked it over and realized we’d been married once before. I’ve started keeping blank divorce papers on hand so we filled them out, dropped them off, then went out for brunch and bloody marys.

2038

She couldn’t resist a melee competition. Her axe vs my scythe…and, well, as much as a paladin as I am, I’m also a reaper.

2039

Wasn’t a Void Elf.

2040

She refused to unlock her chastity belt unless I paid large amounts of gold

2041

Just wasn’t that into spectral teleportation. I’m not a mage, after all.

Couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t an ‘easy paladin.’ Which part of “rigorous training to sustain light and combat in a balance to avoid hatred” sounds like “Ooh, pretty. Can I get inside that skirt?”

1 Like
2042

Welp Palatina, we tried, we really did. Things were good for a while, we’re both Paladins, we’re both gorgeous, it was meant to be. But…on too many occasions, you accidentally called me Liadrin, and my ego couldn’t bare it.

2 Likes
2043

I found out he was actually a male blood elf, and here all along I thought he was a very pretty human female :slightly_frowning_face:

3 Likes
2044

Priests turned me to the old Gods and I went crazy

1 Like
2045

In looking at Elae’s pantheon I see Elune using a walker and the Titans playing bingo and grumbling about how things used to be back in their day and why is the applesauce so lumpy.

When I mentioned I don’t think this is what is meant by old gods, she excommunicated me from the marriage. /sigh

2046

Killed the divorce lawyer at the last minute. Decided on keeping her this time around.

1 Like
2047

Killing the divorce lawyer landed poor Palatina in jail, we met there when I went to visit a friend (don’t ask).

Only thing is, after we got married, I found out that she hadn’t divorced Penumbrae.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay married to someone who was already married, so we got divorced, with a new lawyer.

1 Like
2048

We met again while leaving the divorce court, both of us having just ended our previous marriages. After a few drinks we decided it was fate and gave it another try.

It was all all good, the romance, the passion, the cookies. I thought I finally found the one. Until he showed up for the family dinner wearing one of my best bra’s as a head piece.

2 Likes
2049

When we met everything was great. But one day she made a comment about how my horns weren’t long enough and how I should get my hooves reshoed with gold like those fancy light forged Draenei. And it escalated from there.

I will never marry another elf. To vain.

2050

She kept popping heroism at random times it wasn’t needed. AV just started Venetia, why do we need heroism RIGHT now?!