Yes! We now have a credible source sharing credible news just as April begins!
So nothing sus at all.
And if you don’t want to go to the sight, have a good chuckle…umm read:
Blizzard
World of Warcraft Patch Notes
Version 10.6.2
April 1, 2024
Producers’ notes: Now that we’ve released a whole patch without any leaks, we can rest assured that we’ve eliminated leaks forever. There’s no way this one will leak. Nope. No chance.
CLASS CHANGES
We’re pleased to announce that, due to the unprecedented state of nearly-perfect balance across all classes in all content, we cannot find any spell or ability that would be better changed than left unchanged. This patch is a celebration of players’ incredible skills in both PvE and PvP, where all are equal and seemingly no class is undesirable.
Thank you very much for bringing about such a wonderful moment!
NEW RAID
Throughout Dragonflight, the adventurers of Azeroth have befriended, tamed, and ridden countless dragons across the skies of the Dragon Isles. Now, the time has finally come to go Dragondiving.
Vault of the Turbinates is a new raid that’s entirely underwater and literally breathtaking! All throughout the raid, you’ll thrill to the constant requirement to keep an eye on your air meter and coordinate with your raid team to go back up to the surface for air every couple of minutes. The all new Dragondiving system gives you five more action buttons to master while you’re down there, including Swim Forward, Surface Ascent, and Do a Little Pirouette. Bosses include Big Fish, Jawws, and the great apex predator philosopher, Shark Plato.
Did you even know these dragons could swim?
NEW DUNGEON
Those wild and crazy bronze dragonflight pranksters are at it again and again, and only you can save them from themselves’ selves in the Recursive Circular Loop. Enter this new old dungeon from anywhere you like, and then head in either direction, because the results are always the same as the last time you did this!
With five different bosses that may turn out to actually only be one boss at five different timepoints, you’ll never run out of challenges that cause déjà vu, a sense of familiarity, and the uncanny feeling that you recall having done this all before. And thanks to the bronze dragonflight’s presence inside the Recursive Circular Loop, you’ll never run out of challenges that cause déjà vu, a sense of familiarity, and the uncanny feeling that you recall having done this all before.
PLUNDERSTORM, THE SEQUEL
Coming very soon, we’re releasing a completely non-PvP sequel to Plunderstorm. This event has no PvP whatsoever, and it’s super easy to pick up all the rewards, as they’re just laying on the ground in the relative safety of the starting zones! Look for this relaxing in-game activity on your calendar under the name “Noblegarden”.
FOLLOWER BATTLEGROUNDS ON MOBILE
An exciting new series of battlegrounds for your followers is now available on your mobile device. Download the free app to build armies of all of your favorite Warcraft combatants such as Bat Rider, Gryphon Rider, and Warsong Rider. They’ll do battle all across Azeroth behind the most noble and prominent leaders such as Sneed, Old Murk Eye, and Charlga Razorflank. We’re referring to it as cheery disarray!
SEASON OF DISCOVERY
Coming in the next phase of Season of Discovery, we’re finally taking the original WoW classes back to their true selves with exciting new runes!
Nurse Warrior
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Disinfective Stance – The warrior takes a cleansing position next to any suffering patients.
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Furious Sews – Using your battle-tested needle and thread, you stitch wounds back together so fast that it’s a blur.
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Cold Steel, Hot Blood Donation – As everyone knows, warriors have the best blood and the most blood and they’re always a universal donor to those in need.
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Massacare – The warrior hits multiple patients really hard with bandages and soft words of encouragement.
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Rehabilitating Shout – Only a warrior can make physical therapy as loud as it should be.
Lightheaded Paladin
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Chilllumination – The paladin gets lost in thought and feels much more peaceful than before.
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Take-a-Breakable Spirit – Your blessings cause all party members to get up and stretch, with a random chance that they’ll have a nice, shared yawn.
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Relaxing Inquisitor – The paladin’s holy inquiries are delivered with feet up on the desk and hands behind the head, leaning back and making the accused feel 30% less anxiety.
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Hush of Light – Guarantees that when you open a window blind, your pet cat will trot into the sunshaft and do that thing around your ankle a couple of times.
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Lay on Your Hands – A spell of last resort when you have no pillow and you really need to just rest your eyes for a little while.
COMING SOON – Season of Mystery
There’s nothing more enjoyable in gaming than randomness, so we’ve taken Original WoW and dialed the uncertainty up to F on a scale of 1-10. The “F” stands for “fun”!
In Season of Mystery, everything you experience will be subject to a hidden roll. How many bear pelts does this quest-giver need? Could be 8. Could be 87! How fast is your mount today? It could be 140% run speed, and it could be 205%, and could be a slow day for horsie. Maybe horsie only goes 50% today. How exciting is that?!
In Season of Mystery, you’ll sometimes kill a murloc and receive a piece of tier 2 raid gear, and you’ll sometimes receive 1 copper, and you’ll sometimes receive an amusing fatal beating. What is this murloc doing in the middle of Stormwind? And why does it look like an alpaca?
