Even when the new expansion bugs completely breaks the “game” in the level 20s bracket where F2Ps like the Pook have to live, it just becomes so much more immersive when you’re just a grunt in the Alliance Militia for Low Level Immortals.
Let me tell you about the glory which is the Potion of Power Bomb. It’s a wonderful weapon of mass destruction that has changed what it means to be a Baby Twink in a bracket where Daddy Twinks are like the heroes of epic mythology. Some Daddy Twinks smite with might and some of them would have more productive epic ballads if maybe they didn’t let their blood lust distract them from the mission objectives because their gear is playing the game for them… …but the Pook digresses. In the Pook’s bracket the Potion of Power Bomb has become a legend in its own right.
It is an item crafted from a recipe for some profession in the current expansion. The Pook doesn’t know if alchemists are responsible for this war crime of awe inducing levels or if a gnomish engineer pondered what would it be like if players could summon a troupe of Hozen and those Hozen would start ooking their dook at you and that dook was covered in the germs of every disease the thought of which keeps you awake at night when you suddenly become self aware of some sort of ache or pain in your flesh cursed body and you think you got that horrific disease you heard about once upon a time.
THAT would be the effect of the Potion of Power Bomb in the Pook’s bracket. It one shots Daddy Twinks, Baby Twinks and noobs alike. None are safe from this weapon.
There was a time when some Daddy Twinks would play with honour and only go after other Daddy Twinks and do what they must to protect the Baby Twinks on their side. The Potion of Power Bomb has ended those days. In its current busted form it’s just too tempting a weapon not to use. One sided decided to unleash this WMD that someone is going to Revendreth for inventing. Once unleashed upon the battleground it didn’t matter that there were Daddy Twinks who wished to play with the kind of honour that made the Baby Twinks call them senpai. No, the only way a force like the Potion of Power Bomb can be countered is with an equal or superior force.
So what is the Pook’s bracket like now? What is life like for a level 20 F2P in the Alliance Militia for Low Level Immortals?
Imagine you’re a background character stuck in a story filled with legendary heroes and Captain Kirk and Hercules turn into Hozen and start ooking the deadly diseased infested dook at you and you’re wearing a red shirt.
All pretense of civility in the face of adversity has just been ooked in the dook. Baby Twinks just have to dance between the rain drops while the Daddy Twinks are in an arms race to see who can get the most Potion of Power Bombs. I’m sure there’s a run on these in the auction houses right now because the Daddy Twinks are gearing for war.
You would normally think that a PvP experience that horrifically chaotic would be extremely unenjoyable but honestly, it is just so damned weird I gotta see where this nonsense is going. Once both sides committed to it, the magnitude of the awfulness of this bracket felt like unlocking a new more difficult level in this Grunt Simulator.
Yeah sure the Pook gets to keep all the abilities she had before this expansion dropped and I got a few new ones but now I have to use them in a world where warfare amongst the immortals is resulting the everyone having to duck the ooks of dooks being flung by beings who already had godlike destructive powers.
But it’s not all being ooked in the dook by legendary warriors. It’s also chilling in Goldshire with the other PvPers waiting for Mathias to send us into a battleground where the Pook now has to avoid instant death to steal flags, fondle orbs, ninja carts, mine war candy or whatever else it is the Alliance needs its militia of low level immortals to do (why the Alliance needs these things is above the Pook’s pay grade).
Baby Twinks can’t form groups to make premades. A Daddy Twink has to invite a Baby Twink to a group. When the Pook gets invited to join a group of Baby Twinks and Daddy Twinks there’s no guarantee that the Pook is coming back to the same realm I originally came from when the battle ground is over. No I could go to one of the Daddy Twink’s realms or one of the other Baby Twink’s realms. Let me tell you what Goldshire is like in other realities.
The Goldshire in the Pook’s reality is probably the results of a gnome saying “what if I could make a dimension where everyday was Mardi Gras in Vegas” and he did it. In these other dimensions Goldshire has the atmosphere of a Tourist Town off season and the locals are just trying to recover from all those tourists and the way they didn’t get the local customs and treated us like townies but we like their money and I got a cousin who can set me up with an off season job fixing up the camp so it’ll be ready the next time all those tourists come back here and make our lives heck.
Yeah that’s the vibe of Goldshire in every other reality the Pook has been to. Just PvPers hanging out waiting for their queues to pop and talking about whatever magic suffering the Blizzard Wizard is cursing us poor grunts with. While I’m there I get to tell them about what life is like in the reality the Pook comes from and they tell me what reality is like where they’re from. It’s an interesting trans-dimensional cultural exchange.
It’s nice little something to take your mind off the fact that you’ve just queued up to go into a battle ground where a pantheon of Daddy Twinks are going to ook the dook at anything that moves. War is heck.
