WoW addiction and depression

Community General Discussion
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Bit of a downer post so by all means feel free to skip it if you don’t wanna be bummed out. Posting on a throwaway classic toon for obvious purposes.

I been playing this game on and off since vanilla as a teenager. I’ve had some great memories on this game, but also spent extended periods of time away from it, sometimes even skipping entire expansions (wod, SL). I’m 33 now and have dealt with depression for most of my life. I used this game mainly as a crutch many times in my life and most of the time it helped, even if it was only a short term solution.

At 28 I was classified as obese weighing 375 pounds. At that point I decided I had to make a lifestyle change and stepped away from the game. Started training in the gym, eating clean, etc and got down to 260 while also putting on muscle which I’ve maintained for the past few years. Losing the weight helped somewhat with my depression and confidence issues. I played wow very casually during that time, almost none at all.

I came back to the game full-time for wotlk classic and burnt out surprisingly fast about 5-6 weeks in. The timing was perfect though, since dragonflight was about to come out soon, so I switched to retail and began preparing for the new expansion despite being extremely lost with all the games new changes. I had skipped the second half of BFA and the entire SL.

Over the past few months I’ve been very addicted to the game and playing every day. I went from training in the gym 5-6 days a week to 2-3 then once, and now I barely even go. I put on 15 pounds so I’m back at 275 and I also don’t do anything else on my free time. The depression makes it so I don’t enjoy recreational activities which REALLY sucks. I was also a weed addict for a long time which severely messed up my dopamine receptors… I’m 2 months clean now and struggling with not getting enjoyment out of anything. All I had going in my life was wow…

Fast forward to today and I realized I don’t even enjoy the game anymore. I think dragonflight is boring as hell. I think the game is unnecessarily difficult to the point of frustration and I am softcapped at 8/8 normal vault and 3/8 heroic. Can’t seem to progress no matter what I do. I also don’t enjoy the new profession system or the mythic plus scene. Again, I might be in the minority but I feel like the game is severely punishing and extremely mechanic heavy for no reason other than to cater to the e sport crowd of hardcore players.

As much as I’m frustrated with the game, I find myself thinking about the game too much and nothing else. I don’t read books anymore despite having used to read a lot. I barely keep up with other games, movies, or TV shows. All I do on my free time is consume wow content on YouTube and read the forums while I’m at work. It’s become a job, and quite frankly one I’m not very good at anymore.

I tried reducing the amount I play, but that doesn’t help. I think I need to go cold turkey to fully help other aspects of my life improve, but in the last few months this game became my entire identity. I don’t know what I’m going to do without it. I get scared and depressed at the thought of walking away. I love this game and the history I have with it, but it’s changed a lot in the past expansion where it doesn’t even feel like the wow I fell in love with anymore.

There are so many other great games out there now I can be playing, and I need to get back to the gym. Maybe it’s time to finally let this game rest in peace… I just don’t know how to go about it.

I’m sorry for the long rant. I know it’s JUST a game, but it’s difficult for me to walk away even though that’s probably what I have to do.

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If playing this game is harmful to you just quit.

Not saying that to be mean or whatever but anything you have a toxic relationship with needs to be ripped like a bandaid from your life as it is toxic because it seeps into your life like a poison.

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Doing this is very hard. Here is what I would do instead:

Focus on cleaning your apartment or house. Invest in your work. Learn that the game will always be here and reward yourself with one to two hours of playtime. All about moderation.

Ever since I went full time at work, I don’t game as much as I thought. And that’s O.K. RL responsibly always come first. ESPECIALLY if it pertains family.

Also, talk to your family. Call them up. Tell them how you’re doing. If this is not an option, take night strolls. Go to your local bar. Socialize a bit. What you look like doesn’t matter – its the bright mind on the inside that counts.

I sit here with chewed nails and look like a nerd. I’m not too proud of the bad habit of chewing my nails (trying my best to clip them instead), but I’m proud to call myself a nerd. We all rise up in the end.

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This is really good advice btw, really well put.

I think its always important to remember that little changes will eventually add up. Don’t worry about the big overarching picture all the time, just try and make something small work, then eventually other small things will work out too and you’ll yourself in a far better place.

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Just cause you weigh less doesn’t mean you’re healthier(your case is pretty extreme so no doubt you are healthier).
I think you need to be around people who criticize you physically, not mentally (wow). Whatever hurdle you have to overcome, if you can physically go and sail across the world, do it. The precious is here when you mess up your knee.

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Nothing in the game that you do matters, the score , KSM, curve , the gear, your dps charts, no of it matters… only thing that wow is good for is killing time if you have nothing to do for a few hours, skipping gym or other real life activities for for some virtual stuff that no one cares… when was the last time someone complemented you, like oh man you got KSM or curve your my hero

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Youre going to get a lot of basement dweller 19 year old trolls responding, but let me tell you this as someone whos also somewhat experiencing the same thing as you as far as your history playing, taking breaks, using it as a crutch, feeling addicted now overwhelmed and not really enjoying it for fun but pure job level competition. WoW got me through some really tough times, especially when i got out of the Army (well when OG WoW launched a few years after), and now im living in a country with my family and barely speak the language (my wife of 10 years is from here) and i rarely go out because even going to the store can be a struggle if they ask me anything other than cash or card or if i want a bag at checkout.

I didnt play much of BFA or SL, i felt the game going wayyyy too mainstream and the amount of systems and bloat was disgusting and i felt like i had to spend more time researching how to play all the new systems and raids than actually playing.

Ive managed in the past to take successful breaks from WoW, and i actually was pretty happy playing Archeage, a return to DAoC, Everquest, and Rift for a summer. Problem is, and someone mentioned this in another post, we are like an abused spouse and WoW is the abuser. Its nurturing an environment that had become very unforgiving to casual players, outside of LFR which is turning into Heroic PUG toxicity. Everything about this game now is “push hard or fall behind.” That means No Curve, no raid for you. Rio under 3k, dont expect good M+. You didnt spend hours watching videos of mythic raid bosses, forget about it, youll never see it.

This game has become a drug that people are using to constantly keep pushing harder or they fall behind, and then you stop and think about how much effort youve put in and a bit of fear hits you that if you fall behind too much its all but over, so even when you are burned out you keep pushing because you dont want to lose it all. Blizzard knows this, they create and nurture this environment, and they know the chances of you leaving are slim to none outside of complete burnout woth no hope of catching up.

I dont have a solution for you, but i can suggest you try a few other games, i enjoy Archeage because i can play it hard or relax and enjoy housing tasks, pve farming, fishing, pvp…its one of the greatest games, and one of the most absolutule fantastix housing in a game ive ever played that i can find something to do no matter my mood. Its pay to win to an extent, but honestly just paying the sub fee youll more relaxation in a fay than youve probably got in wow in a long long time. There are some other games like FFXIV, but i didnt really like that because i dont like FFXIV story and there are so many cutscene i felt i was being forced to go so slow.

Anyway, i dont know if anyone can fully break from wow. Theres a reason its a marriage killer, job killer, and other negative things and just watching the players turn into little addicts itching for that +1 to their rio score and raising hell if you in anyway cost them that EVERY DAY, its a nightmare and i take more ibuprofen dealing with the headaches from the other players than external factors.

Take it easy, check out a MMO review on youtube, i mean a nice 20-30 minute reviewer, see if anything looks fun, if it dors, try it, a ton of free to play games with a smaller population might interest you just for game play, you might stick with it and find something less stressful, but at the very least you got a break from WoW and when you do play it youre a little less stressed necause you’ll dind games woth smaller communities band together and youll get that true friendly MMO sense again.

**my autocorrect doesnt work, sorry for typos.

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You are still 100 pounds down. It’s a hard thing that you’re doing. Go easy on yourself.

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I’d really recommend focusing on yourself first before going back to WOW. You have to realize that there’s an outside world waiting for you to interact with it. You shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to do other stuff. Go back to the stuff you used to enjoy, read a book, clean your apartment, call your family/friends,

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If alcoholism is bad for your liver, just quit drinking.

If smoking is bad for your lungs, just quit smoking.

If hard drugs are bad for you, just quit abusing drugs.

That’s totally how addiction works and why we don’t have addicts to any of these things.

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I’ve been saying this for a while now and I’m right there in the same boat as you.

Exactly.

I think reducing your playtime will dramatically help if you keep at it.

Are you playing with friends?

What is keeping you here? Is it fear of abandoning all the time and effort you’ve poured into the game? I know that’s what compels me to stay despite my dissatisfaction with the game.

Recently, I’ve started to play other games and that’s helped in a small way.

Stay strong, OP. You’ve already done a great job, losing the weight and finding new interests. Try to keep at it and do your best to identify triggers so that you can avoid them.

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Make a self care list things you need to do each day before playing WoW.

Dinner prep time, Gym time, cleaning time, shower time, etc

Schedule in some non WoW days each week (either going out, tv, date nights etc).

Have a hard stop time (yeah its rough leaving a Raz group 25 wipes in when the boss is at 1% but if its the end of your play time stop).

Have a wind down activity or routine before bed to unload the day

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I’ve also played WoW from the beginning and there have been times in my life where things weren’t going great.

Looking around, I could say that I was playing WoW a lot and blame it for my situation. So quitting seemed like the obvious decision.

But even after quitting, I would substitute other things for shirking my responsibilities, which is really what was happening.

I’ve always been a voracious reader and burying my nose in a book or TV show for the same amount of time that I would have been playing WoW honestly didn’t improve my situation.

WoW should be put firmly in the “entertainment” category. Once you’ve attended to your responsibilities and have some leisure time, it won’t matter if you spend that time watching a movie or reading a book or playing a video game.

I’m sorry that you’re facing this issue, but I believe in you. Not a lot is going on in DF right now, so you would hardly be missing out if you took a break to address your RL priorities.

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Wow is not good for depression. Full stop. Far too much dopamine tuning and mechanics intended to addict you.

Modern gaming is finely tuned loops attached to a PayPal account. There’s no incentive to let you finish the experience.

Pop in a cartridge on a Nintendo 64 and the loops are there. But but the design is to make you feel fulfilled eventually. With rolling credits and a “thanks for playing!”. Yes it’s addicting in the moment, but you move on when you’re done.

If you’re in a rough moment in your life, delete the game and give it a month. You’ll feel better.

Edit. Wait they say take breaks on the splash screen, never mind, they just want the best for me. :stuck_out_tongue:

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If he could just quit then he wouldn’t be in this pickle.

I really think he needs to see a therapist regularly and be consistent with this. Going cold turkey may do more harm than good.

I would suggest the gym but that might be too much for them. Maybe a treatmill and just put it in front of the TV and just… walk? That could help a lot.

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I appreciate you taking the time to write out that beautiful answer :heart:

Thank you to everyone else who cared enough to post as well. Much appreciated

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Once your physiology changes, the brain will follow suit.

Remember your brain lives in your body, so the nicer you keep the house your brain lives in, the better your brain will feel.

Just start with a little at a time and be proud of what you already accomplished.

Humans are identifying machines. We give ourselves an identity based on our accomplishments. So you probably view your backsliding as losing your identity as “the guy the lost 100lbs” and that’s why it’s so painful.

Create a new identity that excites you. Set a new standard/goal for yourself and start slow. Maybe now you are the guy that lost 100lbs and plays water polo etc. :man_playing_water_polo:

example if you don’t want to go to the gym just walk on the treadmill a little, next thing you know you will want to do a little more.

We are creatures of habit and identity. These things feed each other. Make sure they are helping you not hurting you and congratulations on the changes you have already made. Most people aren’t brave enough to come this far.

Also yeah DF is bad

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What helped me stop biting my nails (something I did since I was a child, and finally stopped about 8 or so years ago) was buy about a dozen nail clippers and nail files and put them everywhere. Vehicles, desk, end table, bathroom, bedroom, office, kitchen, purse, jacket pockets, wood shop… everywhere. So that they were always in reach of me so that I couldn’t be like “oh, I don’t have clippers/file, I’ll just bite this broken/chipped nail clean.”

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You’ve done a lot for yourself, and your health, already. So you should feel proud about that! If you do plan to just walk away and it works for you then I wish you the best. However, I also tend to have an addictive personality and I hyper focus very well. Perhaps if you do choose to play games again, or maybe just want to start cutting time out of gaming, I would I recommend making a schedule for yourself.

My days are heavily structured, by choice, to avoid me hyper focusing and pretty much ignoring anything important. I have alarms set to remind me as well. It helps keep my on track and I don’t feel like I’ve been suckered into wasting 12 hours because I kept finding things to do in whatever activity I’m engrossed in.

Either way, I hope you find more happiness within yourself and keep building the life you want. :slight_smile:

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I do not agree with the term “addiction” when referring to gaming because it doesn’t interact with neurotransmitters the way that psychoactive drugs to. However, there are online 12-step support groups for people who identify as gamer addicts. Connecting with that community could be very helpful if you want to reset your dopamine receptors and change your behavior. Google SAMSA, and you should have no trouble locating a group.

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