You know, people always ask where are the Ducks, but now that we have found them, I have to ask:
Where are the Koalas?
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I ate them.
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Koalas are horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can’t afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, defacate and occasionally scream like Satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently…
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they’re terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio…there’s a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn’t want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother’s you-know-what until she leaks a little diarrhea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn’t helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in helmet. I hate them.
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In a land down under?
You take that back.
Do other animals run as cute as the Koala Pokemon does? I THINK NOT.
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Ask Absterge on twitch. He likes koalas.
We’re in the up ova, they’re down unda mate.
I too watch Casual Geographic
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Probably hanging out with the Platypuses.
Rambling here but I’m kinda jelly of platypus.
They get way more REM sleep than us. Lucky adorable jerks.
Its smug well restedness mocks me
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I actually got to hold and pet one in primary school, it was amazingly soft 
They’re adorbs. I just wish I could sleep as well as them lol.
Good to know. Thank you for the fairly pointless Wall of Text.
Remind me to make a post about how I hate Bald Eagles.
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What a great read honestly. Read just like a rant YouTube video but is about how pathetic Koalas are.
This bit had me howling. “Koalas adapt
Too, they choose to stave because they suck” 
In the Void Lords expansion.
(hint: they are the void lords)
They were all hiding in Teldrassil 
Koalas seem like ideal candidates for the next Horde race.
Do it. they are so amazingly useless 
I’m not reading that wall of text. I live in Australia and know enough about koalas.